Maybe You Have Already Met The Right Person, You Just Aren’t Ready To Fall In Love

Maybe You Have Already Met The Right Person, You Just Aren’t Ready To Fall In Love

You could still see yourself smiling if their name popped up on your phone.
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This morning I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, as I always do, and came across this photo one of my favorite influencers had posted.

But it wasn’t the photo that really caught my attention, it was the caption. The caption restated the fact that she had first met her fiancé when they were eight years old, but they hadn’t actually started dating until they were both in their twenties.

We often envy the cliché “high school sweetheart” stories, mostly because we wish that had happened to us, but here we are, five or six years later after graduating high school, without anyone to share our bowls of soggy breakfast cereal with.

If I were to tell you that you had already met the person you were destined to spend the rest of your life with, would you even believe me?

There is no way for me to know for sure, but just consider that small possibility for a moment.

Are you disappointed? You’re probably thinking that this can’t be true because you cannot recall meeting someone so special before. But what if you just hadn’t found out how special they actually are? What if your paths had already crossed before and you just hadn’t seen them in that way?

Maybe you have that one special person you are thinking of, right now, as you’re reading this, but you’re convinced that they don’t feel the same way about you. Or maybe they do, but for whatever reason, they aren’t acting upon it. They’re keeping an eye on you, following your social media, and while you aren’t seeing any of this happening, you could still see yourself smiling if their name popped up on your phone.

But you’d also be OK if it never did because there is so much more to life than finding your soulmate.

At least, when you’re twenty-something years old and still have your whole life ahead of you, there is. You trust the Universe is going to bring you someone who sweeps you off your feet, and a lot of the times, that person is the one you least expect, or it’s the person who you knew all along was destined to be yours.

As much as you claim you are ready to welcome this relationship into your life, sometimes it doesn’t come as quickly as you had hoped.

There’s this girl called timing, and let me tell you, she can be a bitch sometimes.

She can also be your best friend if you let her be. When it all comes down to it, timing is everything.

You might want a relationship so badly, that you forget about your never-ending schedule and how throwing another commitment in the mix may not be the best thing for you. Now I know if you love someone enough, you’ll make it work, no matter how busy you are.

But you’re not at that point right now. You don’t know this person on that level, and I cannot stress the importance of being specific about what you want enough, but you have to let it go.

No matter how much you love yourself and acknowledge that you are a badass woman, that doesn’t mean the man of your dreams is going to fall right in front of your feet.

At least, not yet. But if you are patient, and if you recognize the fact that what’s yours has always been yours, then I can promise you he is just around the corner.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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