No, Science Isn't Trying To Convince You To Save Sex For Marriage

No, Science Isn't Trying To Convince You To Save Sex For Marriage

Having sex with someone doesn't hormonally bind you to them for life.


The topic of sex is one that can function as a highly polarizing and political topic, ranging from the right individuals have to their sexuality, the ability for them to have sex, who to have sex with and when to have sex.

One particularly polarizing topic is the notion of whether to have sex before marriage or to wait until you say "I do."

Quite frankly, there is no right answer to that question. Each healthy, consenting adult should have the ability to make decisions they feel is right for them about their own sex life.

Other people though, prefer to determine and police the acceptability surrounding sexual conduct, and shame individuals from making decisions about their sex life.

This type of behavior is present in a recent, viral article on this platform entitled "If The Bible Can't Convince You To Save Sex For Marriage, Maybe Science Will."

The subheadline of this article makes a good point, claiming that "sex shouldn't only be a faith-based decision."

Sex, casual or otherwise, should be a well-informed decision any adult makes regarding whether they choose to have it or not. One's faith (or lack thereof) level of comfortability, desire for sex, partner of choice and circumstances are all intersecting factors that one may consider when it comes to having safe, consensual sex.

One popularized notion regarding the study of sex is that of oxytocin, a hormone released during sex, childbirth, and breastfeeding. Oxytocin is colloquially referred to as the "love hormone."

People call oxytocin this "love hormone" since it can increase the feelings of attachment one might experience or influence one's sociability one has when it's released from the hypothalamus.

And while oxytocin is proved to function in pro-social behaviors, including sexual activity, it is not proven to "bond" someone for life.

So while the science recognizes the sociable and potential bonding effects oxytocin can have between individuals, it is not accurate to suggest that it is responsible for something as monumental as a lifetime of emotional bondage.

Therefore, making claims that a woman releasing oxytocin "connects her to the other person for the rest of her life" and that oxytocin "is also the reason so many girls feel so miserable after a short-term relationship ends" are not only false usages of scientific data, but they shame individuals who have decided not to wait until marriage to have sex.

There exist plenty of women who have can have casual sex and not feel bound to those sexual partners for life. Women also release dopamine during sex, meaning that their pleasure and happiness levels arise during sex similarly to men.

When short-term relationships end, the disappointment and misery more than likely comes from other emotional factors, not due to a woman's body bonded to a man for life.

Suggesting that a woman's sexuality and emotional stability is so heavily determined by one hormone not only denies many women of their healthy sexual expressions but is scientifically inaccurate.

So if you believe that saving sex before marriage in accordance with certain interpretations of the Bible, then please, save yourself. Those are your beliefs, and I respect that decision wholeheartedly.

Science, however, is not up for interpretation. There is no scientific, blatant fact that states oxytocin binds one to another person eternally, nor is the primary reason why women are unhappy when relationships end.

Attempting to enforce one's non-secular ideas through the misuse of science is not a logical, nor respectful way to articulate your beliefs, especially when your beliefs potentially infringe on someone's personal decisions.

So no, endocrinologic studies cannot directly tell you that it's better for everyone to save sex before marriage.

The decision on when to have sex comes from you and your beliefs, and so long as those decisions ensure you are safe, happy, healthy and respectful of those around you, they are the correct decisions.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hickeys Are Killing Teens, Young Love Isn't As Innocent As You Think

Hickeys might just be the next cause of your death.


An article by Mirror has revealed that a teen by the name of, Julio Macias Gonzalez, died because of a stroke caused by a bite mark left by his girlfriend.

The teen was spending time with his family eating dinner, after meeting with his girlfriend, when he started having convulsions and died of a stroke.

Hickeys, or bruises on the skin, as defined by Merriam-Webster, are usually caused by harsh sucking that burst small blood vessels.

These bruises usually last about 5- 12 days as stated through recent publishing by 54 Health.

The article also claims that the amount of time can also vary depending upon your own state of health & the amount of destruction the hickey caused.

"Some hickeys are more severe than others and take a longer time to heal," says 54 Health.

But, sometimes, there can be no room left for healing as some of these bruises can be extremely severe.

These hickeys on your skin can quickly turn into your next nightmare if it completely destroys your blood vessel wall.

In an interview given to Cosmopolitan's Relationship Editor, Julia Pugachevsky, Dr. Jessica O'Reilly said, "According to research, it is possible for hickeys to be dangerous if the pressure is applied over the carotid arteries."

"Too much pressure could injure the blood vessel wall and lead to a smaller clot that could clog an artery and cause a stroke," says Dr. O'Reilly.

Other experts, such as Dr. Teddy Wu, have made it clear that these strokes may not only result in your death but can also cause paralysis.

Even though the result of paralysis or death from receiving a hickey are of low-risk, consider the next time that you give your lover a mark or bruise on their skin - you might just end up being known as a "murderer," among their family & friends.


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My Parents Always Talked About Sex Openly With Me, And I'm So Grateful For Their Candor

And now, I write about sex.


My mom and dad talk about sex. They never hid it from me and never freaked out when I came home with sex ed diagrams of female and male genitalia. Instead, my dad quizzed me on the fill-in-the-blank diagrams because I was determined to get an A (as I am with any other test).

I was never uncomfortable bringing this material to my parents to laugh at and discuss. I'm grateful that they weren't mortified either.

My parents are my best friends and it's always been this way. I share everything with them, including boys and all that fun stuff. This is how my older brother and I were raised—we can tell our parents anything, they will always be there. I am a mature, independent young woman who can make her own choices. I am not my parents' puppet to control. They are here to guide me so that I can handle all parts of life.

Sex is just another part of life's journey and they get it.

I never had the sex talk with my parents. Life just flowed naturally and I was always open with them. I will always be their baby girl, but I'm getting older and older. If I had a question, they were there. When I had my first kiss, I couldn't stop bugging them about it: "I kissed a boyyyy! I kissed a boyyyy!" When I had boy drama, my dad was the one who helped me reply to texts as he speaks boy-talk and can relate to what a teenage boy is thinking. Not so long ago, my mom and dad were horny teenagers themselves learning about relationships, love, and heartbreak. I've heard the stories!

And now, I write about sex. Neither of them questioned it and I'm so lucky to have that. When my parents speak of my work, my dad will make note that some pieces aren't for the lighthearted, but neither of them is ashamed. What is there to be embarrassed about? S.E.X. Sex. It's natural, most everyone has or will experience intimacy. Humans crave this attention and connection. I was taught how to enjoy the world and be safe. I could ask questions and never be judged.

I couldn't ask for anything more.

When I have kids of my own, they will grow up knowing what sex is. They will know how to protect themselves. Know how to say "no." Know who to come to when they need help. I don't want them going to others with the risk of being misinformed. I want to provide a safe environment and not have "The Talk" be so awkward.

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