I don't agree with the people who say it's impossible to be loved by someone else until you first can say that you love yourself.
As someone who has struggled for years with major depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues, I can honestly say that, even with all of the counseling and treatment I've had thus far, I still haven't mastered self-love. And yet I am still in a healthy, caring— and definitely loving— romantic relationship with someone whose feelings for me aren't based on how I feel about myself.
I find it impossible to say that I will not be genuinely loved just because I haven't perfected my self-image.
I have been working to embrace my flaws and to believe in my talents for as long as I can remember. Every day is a new battle - every day has the possibility of testing my limits, of challenging me mentally and emotionally in ways I might not be prepared for.
Achieving self-love is an extremely difficult endeavor for a lot of young (and even older) adults. For some, this process is lifelong…so should these people not be able to settle down with the loves of their lives in the meantime?
Yes, we are all beautiful and unique and yes, we are all talented and have the potential for greatness in our lives. But knowing this and believing this are two very different things. I believe this some days and deny it to others, but I always know in the back of my mind that this is true. And on my "off" days, my girlfriend is more than willing to support me. She doesn't let my mental illness and my insecurities interfere with how she sees me as a person— and I'm learning slowly but surely to not do this to myself, either.
I commend people who've got a firm grasp on loving themselves already. Whether they've always been confident or went through the time it took to build up that sense of self-worth, they have achieved what so many people are still fighting for. But everyone completes this journey at their own pace, so I don't think it's fair to automatically assume that people with low self-esteem are unlovable. Some of us figure it out faster than others, but regardless of that, we are ALL worthy of being loved.
So no, I haven't mastered self-love yet. But that doesn't mean that my girlfriend can't overlook my struggles to see me as someone who is strong for fighting her demons every day. Anyone who just tells me to "be happy" clearly has no idea that happiness isn't always easy to come by. One day, I will love myself without question and without a single doubt…but until then, I am so grateful for my S.O.'s love and support.