Sex after the first date. Do you do it or do you not do it? To get it on or to not get it on, that is the question.
Before losing my virginity, I would have said hell no. Having sex with someone you just met is simply insane and dangerous! However, more than a year after losing the V-card, my perspective on sex has changed massively. I just had sex with someone after having just met him in person (we talked for a few weeks prior to meeting) and I don't regret a thing. I wanted to know how my peers felt about this very contentious topic, so I asked.
Here's what the people have spoken:
A whopping 47% of my peers said they would have sex on the first date, while 35% said no, and the remaining 18% said maybe, it depended on the situation.
I for one was surprised at the amount who said yes and was happy I wasn't the only one who would do so. What interested me the most were the responses my peers gave as to the reasoning behind their answers. I kept everything anonymous out of respect for those who answered my poll.
"For me, it's situational because it depends on the type of girl, how we met, how long we've been talking before meeting up, and if I'm personally in the mood." - anonymous
A few people mentioned that it depends on the situation, and this person really hit the nail on the head with their response. You could go months talking and finally meet up just to feel no sexual connection with a person worth pursuing, or you could talk for a few weeks, meet up, and have an intense sexual connection come out of nowhere. If you're not in the mood for sex then don't do it. The moment will flow as it is meant to.
"I have before so I can't say I wouldn't." - anonymous
HAHA literally me.
"I don't think enough trust or a bond could be established in one date." - anonymous
"Depends on if you're just looking for fun or an actual relationship." - anonymous
Sex on the first date can, unfortunately, make people pass an inaccurate judgment over you as a person and what you want. You need to remember that if you want to have sex with a guy that it can either go into something more or fizzle out after the deed is done. The right guy won't tap it and run off and the wrong ones will.
"Too early to tell if it's worth it." - anonymous
"Still don't really know the person yet." - anonymous
Understandable. A few people have mentioned something along this line and it's a valid reason. You have to be an extremely trusting person to have sex on the first date.
"Just depends on how I'm feeling with the person, I don't think there's anything wrong with sex on the first date as long as you're both comfortable." - anonymous
If you both feel like going for it, just go for it. Comfort is key.
"Because I want that D." - anonymous
If you want the D, then you go get that D. Doesn't matter what the haters say, they aren't the ones getting any!
"Because why not if the connection/energy is there then it's there." - anonymous
"I'm saving myself for my wife and religion." - anonymous
Respect this a lot. It takes a very strong person to say this and follow through with it in the society we have today.
"If both parties are willing, why not! We shouldn't stigmatize sex to only being for anonymous hookups or long-term relationships; sex is sex." - anonymous
THANK YOU!! YOU ARE SO WOKE! Sex is just that: sex and we as humans have every right to enjoy it as we please without feeling harshly judged. When the vibe is right don't fight it because you think it won't lead you anywhere. If you're meant to be with someone, it doesn't matter when you both decided to have sex for the first time. Harness your sexual liberty and do what makes you and only you happy.
"If they wanted to and we vibed." - anonymous
"If both parties consent, why not?" - anonymous
Don't forget that consent is key kids!
"I would like to get to know the person before." - anonymous
It definitely helps to get to know someone before you have sex with them, but you don't have to be their best friend. I feel like on one date you discuss quite a lot with a person, but I guess it depends on the person. Cue the next response.
"Depends on the person." - anonymous
"How long we have been talking before the date, comfort level, and vibe." - anonymous
As mentioned above, the vibe really is one of the main keys to sex being brought to the table. Issa vibe and if its the right vibe, why not pursue it? I feel like you know in your gut whether sex with someone is a good idea, so trust your gut.
"If I think there is a chance to still see each other again then why not?" - anonymous
"I personally need an intense emotional connection." - anonymous
An intense emotional connection is something you can work on developing over time, but who's to say that the flame of a real connection cannot be found after the first date? I personally felt a very real connection with the guy I slept with on our first meeting. However, it's important we all realize that everyone views the decision to have sex differently, and having sex on the first date isn't for everyone.
I learned a lot from reading what my peers to say and I feel liberated to be able to say what I believe without fear of judgment. Sex is sex and we all feel differently in regards to it. Let's not judge each other for our difference of opinions, but instead lift one another up. Have sex on the first date or don't have sex until you're married. Whatever you do, do with pride.