Sex can be messy and complicated and it is even more difficult when both parties aren't on the same page. Unfortunately, a lot of college students have experienced a disconnect with their sexual partners that have resulted in less-than-great sexual experiences. Here are 41 things college girls wish guys knew about sex that would make the whole experience more pleasant for everyone involved.
1. Squeezing my tits a few times is not how to get me horny/wet enough or in the mood to have sex
There's a lot more that I want my partner to want to do so that we can enjoy our time together.
An ex used to literally just squeeze my boobs and thought that's all that was needed. I would talk to him about it, but nothing changed; hence, he's an ex lol
2. Saying yes to one sexual act doesn't mean saying yes to ALL sexual acts
I know that consent can be confusing sometimes, but we need to teach people to look for a "yes" at every step of the way.
3. Sex should be an intimate experience
My boyfriend is aware of this and is affectionate with love during the process, but many guys are not.
This is specifically important to me because hookup culture may be pleasurable, but in order to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, it is crucial for individuals to practice sex with those who they truly care about in order to obtain and understand their partner's sexual history to prevent issues from ensuing.
4. Pushing my head down during a blowjob actually really hurts and makes me feel disrespected
Guys have made me throw up before doing this and it really ruined the experience for me.
5. Making a girl feel like they HAVE to have sex with you because it's what YOU want is sexual abuse
I have been coerced into sex so many times by the guys I dated because they wouldn't stop begging. STOP BEGGING. START RESPECTING.
6. I wish I knew that my boyfriend was into the dominant/submissive roles before we started having sex
This is important to me because we could talk about what each of us is willing to do before being put in the situation.
Exploring kinks can be fun and exciting but they always deserve to be a part of a conversation first and should never be sprung on someone without any warning.
7. Foreplay plays a big part in sex
Even if it's just a one night stand, it makes things more intimate and there is more of a connection between the two of you. It doesn't have to be long and drawn out, but let's be honest, a good makeout session and some hot and steamy messing around make for some great sex.
8. It isn’t all about the size
I've been with my fair share of guys so that means I've been with my fair share of different sizes and to be honest every experience has been totally different. I feel like guys are always trying to be "bigger" than the others but it's not that pleasurable being with somebody THAT BIG. If you know how to use what you have, you will be golden.
9. Girls are allowed to have a lot of it too
These days it is still frowned upon for a woman to enjoy having sex outside of marriage or a serious relationship and if I'm being honest, it's complete and utter bullshit. For guys it's some great thing that they are allowed to enjoy whenever they want but if a woman wants to have sex she's needy or she's a little too promiscuous. Women like sex and think about sex, just as much as guys do. Get used to it.
10. It’s okay to want to experiment
Plain Jane sex is good when you just want a quick one but don't be afraid to ask me to try something new with you. It might be awkward but it might be fun. Trying new things and learning more about what you like and how you like it is probably the best thing ever. And boys, if your girl wants to try something new, don't just shut her down, it takes some guts to open up about wanting something different.
11. Just because we tried something once doesn't mean I'm down to do it all the time
Even if you loved when I used my vibrator on you or when we had anal or tried a new position doesn't mean it worked for me. While I recognize that it feels good for you and I want you to enjoy sex too, I'm not going to keep doing something unless I love it.
12. If I’m giving, I'd better be receiving
In my personal opinion, giving a guy head is kind of fun and honestly a turn on BUT if I'm going to be putting in some work, he better be too. Also, for some girls, myself included, just the physical act of intercourse doesn't make us orgasm. We might need that extra help to get off and if you don't want us to fake it you're going to need to do some work.
13. They aren’t doing us a favor by having sex with us
It should be a two way street and not a omg thank you for doing this to / with me.
14. If I'm not wet enough, it'll be uncomfortable for both of us and extremely painful for me
While dry sex creates friction that can be uncomfortable for both parties, it can also mean that I'm going to be in pain or bleeding for even the next few days. Foreplay is so important and, if necessary, break out the lube.
15. Just because you come over doesn't mean we're going to have sex
A couple months into seeing this guy, he was spending the night almost every night. Some nights I just wanted to sleep or my roommate was home and we couldn't have sex. It made me feel like he was expecting sex every time he came over and that I was letting him down by saying no. Sex should never be an expectation and people can decide to say no/change their mind at any point in the process.
Also subtweet @Aziz Ansari
16. If I'm on my period, that doesn't mean it's BJ week
You are not entitled to sexual pleasure from me whenever you feel like it. If I want to give, I will, but don't hold your breath.
17. I'm only going to shave if I feel like it
Sometimes I'll shave and sometimes I won't. I'll understand if you don't want to go down on my if I haven't shaved but if you can't handle a little bit of hair, you're too immature for me anyway.
Besides, do you do any grooming at all or do I just have to deal with your body in its natural state? Screw that double standard.
18. My body changes all the time
At different points in my cycle or after eating a certain kind of food or if I'm sore for whatever reason, my body is going to feel different. Sometimes certain positions will be too painful or uncomfortable and I need you to be understanding when I tell you something's not going to work that day.
19. If you don't know how to be dominant, please stop trying to beGiphy
If you want to try something new and we've talked about it, by all means. But don't advertise yourself as Christian Grey if you don't even know how to have sex (not that I want Christian Grey anyway).
20. Sex is not like porn
No, my body doesn't contort to various angles and I can't squirt on command. Porn is pure fiction and bringing it into the bedroom is a major mistake a lot of guys make.
Plus, you don't look like a pornstar so don't expect that I will either.
21. Don't have sex the same way you masturbate
If you're having sex like you're jacking off but using my body instead of your hand, chances are I'm having a miserable time. Sex is supposed to be a mutually enjoyable experience so you finding a position that works for you and then just jackhammering me is not fun on my end.
22. I wish guys knew a few basic things, including "no means no" and "yes you have to use a condom".
Why's it important? It just is.
23. Safe sex is your responsibility too
Birth control, condoms, and what should happen if something happens should all be conversations that include both of us. Granted, it's my body so my opinion on the matter will weigh a little higher than yours but pregnancy and STI-prevention shouldn't be something that only I am worried about.
24. I wish men knew what the clitoris is and how to use it
During foreplay, focus on my clit. Penetration doesn't feel as good and won't be as fun for me (another way sex isn't like porn).
And sadly, too many men (and women) don't know where to find it and how to use it.
25. But rough on the clit is not the way to go
The clit is super sensitive so it's important to remember to be gentle with it, not just to go as hard as you want. Listen to your partner's body language and adjust accordingly, with a big focus on eye contact.
26. Not every position feels as good for us as it does for you
We want to feel good too! Some positions just don't do it as well as others.
27. I want to be a little selfish sometimes too
Sometimes I just want to receive and not give. It kind of sucks to have just finished and then turn right around a give a blow job.
It's important to me because I wish guys understand sometimes we want it to be about us and only us.
28. Thrusting all the way in over and over does nothing for me babe
I feel like all men think that's the best way to do it and it's not.
29. Your orgasm shouldn't be the only thing that dictates when sex is over
More than likely, you'll finish before me and deciding that sex is over when you finish is selfish and annoying. I get that it takes you a minute to recover but take a second to help me finish, or at least to make sure I'm having a good time.
(Don't be like this guy that wondered why his girlfriend masturbated every single time after they had sex)
30. My moans are fake
Because guys think we are constantly being pleasured, when in fact we definitely fake it to make them feel better
31. Seriously, because it matters so much it should be listed twice, FOREPLAY IS IMPORTANT
Women need to have foreplay, we aren't just magically ready like guys are. Yes, we do get aroused, but we need some sort of stimulation in order to get ready.
32. Women deserve to experience pleasure too
At least try to finish the girl off. She's not going to want to have sex with you again if you're super selfish in bed.
33. It's OK to take a break
Whether it hurts or someone needs a water break, it's OK to communicate that you need to take a break during sex.
34. Build up your stamina
Something that matters way more than size is how long you can last and whether you can rally for round 2. While not every bedroom session needs to be a marathon, if you're consistently lasting only a couple of minutes, she's going to end up hella disappointed.
35. I never ever want to just give you head
There's a double standard that giving a guy head is considered "hooking up". The girl can stay fully clothed the entire time, with no attempt to pleasure her except maybe making out, and the guy can expect to be given head to completion.
Let's make one thing clear, if you invite me over with the intention that I'm going to blow you and that's it, that you're not going to touch me at all and we're not going to have sex, I'm not interested.
36. Keeping your pubic area groomed and smelling good is so, so important
I'll take an average-sized penis that shouts clean AF over a big dick with a big bush that hasn't showered enough every day
37. If it’s in a relationship it needs to mean something
I am in a relationship and lost my virginity to my current boyfriend. I wish guys would treat sex a little more seriously when it's in a relationship, it's supposed to be special. If I love you enough to give you that privilege then please don't abuse it like a hookup. I want to feel loved and not a quick let's get this over with tons of kisses and affection before actually having sex.
38. Just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I want to have a threesome
My sexuality is not a playground for all your fantasies.
39. Sticking it in there and not moving DOES NOTHING.
It's just awkward... do something... it's weird
40. The clit and g-spot exist
Because 90% of the male population meed a GPS and a personal assistant to find it good god.
41. Make us feel special or we'll find someone who will
You don't have to be the biggest or the best. We don't have to fall in love. But treat us with respect and try to help us enjoy the experience. We promise we will too.