No, My Boyfriend And I Aren't Psycho, We Just Share Our Locations To Make Sure We're Both Safe
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. Throughout the year, we've learned more about each other than we ever could have imagined. He truly knows me better than I know myself. There will be times where he can figure out what's bothering me quicker than I can.

When you're with someone for over a year, you develop a connection with them. You learn the good stuff and the bad stuff. Both about them as a person, their past and what they want in their future. We are VERY open with our communication about everything.

We are set on creating a future together because we feel we are meant for each other.

So, I find it comical when I see people's reactions when I happen to check my boyfriend's location.

I know exactly what you're thinking. "What crazy girlfriend feels the need to check her boyfriend's location??"

While people can believe what they may, I'm actually not checking it to see if he's with another girl or if he's cheating on me. I'm checking it solely to see where he is.

My boyfriend works for a construction company. One that has him at a different location at any given moment. Along with that, he takes classes for said construction job and there's a lot of time throughout the day where we can't exactly catch up on where the other is.

It actually started with my boyfriend's mom. She has the Life360 app, similar to Apple's Find My Friends app. We have a little group that we share our location with. There's me, his mom, his dad, two out of his four brothers, and our roommate. We live next door to his parents so it's pretty much the two houses. That way, without having to call or text to see where they are, she knows. While it wasn't myself who started the sharing location, it has helped immensely.

I had talked to him about it when she invited me to the circle. I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with that and wanted him to know that it wasn't my initial idea. He said he has nothing to hide and that he enjoys the idea of sharing locations. If anything ever happens to us, or we aren't answering our phone for whatever reason, we can find out if the other needs help or make sure we are safe.

It actually comes in handy.

I have a history of passing out. While we still haven't quite figured out the reasoning behind it, it can happen at any given moment. It's not frequent, but it does happen. Since he has seen me pass out before, he always gets nervous that I'm going to be unconscious and he won't be able to find me. This way, he can. The same thing goes for him with the construction job. If he's working at a location in another state and gets hurt, I can find out the nearest hospital he could be transported to because of his shared location.

It may seem a little "much" for some people, but after a study out of 27 people, I've found out that 17 of them also share their location with their significant other. And all 17 of them said it genuinely makes them feel safer. The other 10 didn't necessarily explain why they don't, but one responded with this, "we don't necessarily share our locations with each other, but we do always know where each other is at. I know it makes me feel better to know where my S.O. is, even if we don't officially share locations with each other."

Overall, location sharing isn't always a control thing. Are there situations where that's the case? Of course! But don't look down on my boyfriend and me for feeling safer doing it, if we are mutually agreeing to because of safety.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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