25 Things I'd Rather Do Than Date My Ex Again, God Forbid
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25 Things I'd Rather Do Than Date My Ex Again, God Forbid

Memorize every single word of Apple’s terms and conditions agreement.

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25 Things I'd Rather Do Than Date My Ex Again, God Forbid
Paramount Pictures

While a lot of our exes are great people who deserve nothing but the best, the majority of us probably have at least one relationship we totally regret. I wouldn’t say I rather do anything than date my ex again, but here are 25 things I much rather do than ever take him back.

1. Quit caffeine forever.

2. Go through puberty again.

3. Live with my parents 'til I’m 40.

4. Be banned from Netflix and Hulu.

5. Memorize every single word of Apple’s Terms and Conditions agreement.

6. Have hiccups for the rest of my life.

7. Drink a glass of expired milk every morning.

8. Let my parents go through my phone — including messages, pictures, and all social media apps.

9. Take a long walk down the interstate during rush hour.

10. Never shop at Target again.

11. Unknowingly stand in a bed of fire ants.

If you’ve never done this, you won’t understand.

12. Develop a puppy allergy

And have to take six Benadryl every day for the rest of my life because there’s no way I’m staying away from puppies.

13. Become whatever this woman’s job title is.

14. Wear braces for the next 10 years.

And have to get them tightened every six weeks.

15. Eat a gallon of mustard.

16. Never eat ice cream, french fries or bacon again.

17. Get a pet snake.

I didn't even want to google pictures of real snakes for this article.

18. Have to feed my pet snake frozen rats once a week.

Apparently, snakes don't eat every day.

19. Take 8:00 a.m. classes, five days a week, every single semester.

20. Walk across a floor full of legos every morning.

Looking at this picture makes my foot hurt.

21. Type a 10-page research paper on my iPhone.

And probably need thumb surgery afterward for the arthritis.

22. Watch the entire Fifty Shades film trilogy with my parents.

One of my worst nightmares.

23. Have Jigsaw as a roommate.

If you don't understand, you need to watch this video: Living With Jigsaw

24. Never wear makeup again.

25. Stay single for the rest of my life.

Fun fact: this shirt comes in four different colors. Be sure to get yours in time for Valentine's Day! Click the image below to shop.


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