8 Signs You Finally Have A Partner That Cares About And Respects Your Mental Health

8 Signs You Finally Have A Partner That Cares About And Respects Your Mental Health

A healthy relationship is a happy relationship, and you deserve that.

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Relationships are tricky things. A lot of time, they're great. They're everything you've ever wanted. Maybe there are a few minor bumps along the way, but that's okay, obstacles are natural. You both care about each other, you both have a great time together, and life is good.

Other times, though, relationships aren't so dreamy. You're manipulated. You're made to feel like you'd be nothing without them. You're shamed for your depressed thoughts, for the actions you take when you're triggered. Your well-being is never put into consideration. You know what it's like to have your love and overall mental health taken advantage of, to have it disregarded.

This time feels different, though, doesn't it? It's like a breath of fresh air to you, like you've been held underwater and are finally able to surface. You feel okay. You feel loved, you feel acknowledged, you feel respected. Things aren't as hard as they used to be and the fighting isn't seemingly never-ending. You're in a relationship, but you still maintain your individual identity.

Why is that? What makes everything so different this time? The fact that you finally have a partner who cares about and respects your mental health. That's why. That can be everything in a relationship, making or breaking it. Your mental health is so, so important, and so is having a partner who is helping it rather than hurting it.

It's pretty obvious when love, respect, and consideration are there. Here are a few signs you finally have a partner who cares about your mental health:

1. You aren't afraid to say how you feel or what you think.

You're no longer constantly anxious when something they do upsets you or you feel differently about something than they do. You know that you can 100% have a calm, honest conversation with them about absolutely anything and they won't love you any less for what you have to say. You know they care about you and always want to know how you're feeling, that way they can do to make things better. They promote a safe and trusting environment to you, like a partner should.

2. You trust each other.

Not just a little bit, but fully. They've proven to you that you never have to worry about where they are or who they're talking to, because you're everything to them. They don't sneak around behind your back, and they haven't broken and manipulated your trust. You might share locations just for safety, but it's not a tracking device, like a chip implanted into a pet. Not only that, but they aren't overbearing on you. They don't make accusations of you being unfaithful or demand to see your phone. You can go out with the opposite gender, you can go out to clubs, you can do whatever without constantly fighting. You know you'll both come right back home to each other at the end of the day, happy.

3. You're able to maintain your individuality.

You don't feel like who you are has been completely taken over by them. You don't feel like a pet or child being restricted and governed by their rules. You're able to have your own interests and friends without trying to force some overlap. You know that they're always able to be your "plus one" to something, but they don't have to be. You don't have to do everything together to prove that you love each other, and you both know that. Neither of you dominates the other—instead, you complement each other. You know who you are, and your mental health doesn't suffer from being taken captive.

4. They don't hold anything over your head.

Sometimes, you make mistakes. Whether that's saying something in a wrong way, behaving inappropriately, or anything that could upset your partner, it doesn't matter. What matters is if they forgive you, they don't constantly bring it back up when another issue arises. Instead, they've fully forgiven you and you both have moved on in your relationship. You don't have to constantly be anxious that if you accidentally don't do something right, it's going to come back up again. Trust and forgiveness are crucial to relationships, and them taking advantage of or manipulating either of those in any way hurts your mental health.

5. You don't feel neglected.

When you're having a bad mental health day, they're there for you. They're actively talking to you to try to make things better wanting to do everything they can to help. You feel like you can be as honest as possible about the state of your mental health and they won't shame you for it. They'll hold you. They'll talk with you about seeing a counselor. They'll care about you. You don't expect them to fix everything, but they don't make things worse when you're hurting. You don't have to worry about them not being there when you need them most because they always, always are.

6. They don't gaslight you.

They don't twist your thoughts and tamper with your perception of reality. They don't try to get you to believe that other people hate you, that they're talking about you behind your back. They don't try to convince you that you were gone for way longer than you actually were. They don't deliberately attempt to control you and your thoughts so that they're the only person you trust. They don't take away your sense of self-worth. There's no manipulation, there's no controlling. There's just love.

7. All of your friends and family love them.

Your friends see how happy they make you, especially compared to your previous relationships. They see how good you both are for each other. Your partner doesn't come as a divide between you and your friends, and they don't cause tension when they're near each other. You feel comfortable being able to bring your partner out with your friends and know it'll be a good time. You don't lose your friends when you're in the relationship, and you talk to more than just your partner every day. They don't cause you to separate from old friends and family or prohibit you from creating new relationships.

8. You don't feel like you have to change who you are.

They don't make you feel like you're too loud, too busy, too talkative, or anything else. You don't feel like you have to adhere to the type of person they want you to be in order for them to love you. They love you just the way that you are. Relationships are about compromise, but you shouldn't be the only one compromising. You don't have to fundamentally change who you are for them to be with you. You don't have to continually fight to get them to love you. Instead, they make you feel like you're the best version of yourself.

Relationships aren't always rainbows and butterflies, but they're not always fighting and feeling drained either. There are more happy times than there are bad times.

The actions of your partner have a significant impact on your mental health because you're so invested in them and the relationship itself. A partner who cares about your mental health won't make it worse through their words and actions, or lack thereof. Their love feels like a breath of fresh air to you, and you're finally getting the love and care you deserve.


Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

My Boyfriend Is Deaf, But He's Still A Great Listener

This is what dating my deaf boyfriend has taught me.

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I have heard countless complaints over the years resembling the statement, "My boyfriend is a terrible listener."

Women say this simply to describe how irritating it is when their boyfriends zone out as they are talking about their day or when they simply stare off into space as they try and ask whether they wanna order pizza or Chinese. They may use phrases such as "selective hearing" or compare the likeness of talking to their boyfriend to "talking to a wall."

I must say that I can relate to these women but in a much different way.

My boyfriend is deaf.

I have to say that my boyfriend's deafness has never once been a roadblock for me. If anything, it made me more interested in him. I had zero experience when it came to his deafness. I had many misconceptions of his hearing ability in the beginning. But, overall, it was something that just increased my interest in this kind-hearted, goofy guy. As I started to date this person that sometimes can't help but not listen to me, I realized that his deafness had zero effect on how much I cared for him and how well we worked together.

Unlike some other members of the deaf community, my boyfriend has two cochlear implants. Fun fact: cochlear implants are actually frowned upon throughout the deaf community a lot of times. They are said to remove the individuality that comes with the deaf community and its members. However, and I will admit I am biased, I do not agree and neither does my boyfriend. Cochlear implants assist him in living his life, but that does not mean that every deaf person needs or wants them to live theirs—which is OK. They benefit this person that is very important to me, and that is all that matters in my mind.

While all cases of deafness and implant-users are unique to the individual, my boyfriend had his first implant surgery when he was just 2-years-old. Then, his second when he was 10. I knew cochlear implants existed before I met him, but I had no idea how they worked, which was soon very apparent to myself and him.

Gabby Sheets

So, basically in the simplest terms possible, there are two magnetic receivers implanted in his skull. Then, there is the outer part that holds a circular magnet, a transmitter, and a microphone that magnetizes through his skull and to his actual implant. This, somehow, gives him the ability to hear, and to be fully honest I do not understand how they work. I probably never will. All I know is that he can hear me, which I did not know would necessarily be the case when we first met...

Gabby Sheets

When we first started going out with each other, I definitely had many misconceptions about my boyfriend's hearing, misconceptions that he will tease me about to this day. For example, I thought that I had to look directly at him whenever I spoke. My mistaken logic was that he would have to read my lips in order to understand me. False. Wrong. His implants allow him to hear exactly what I am saying the majority of the time, depending on if he actually is paying attention and how loud I am talking. He can, however, read lips though, which he has to do any time he is not wearing his implants, or like when I knock them out of his head on accident... Woops.

I also, at first, had this hilarious belief that he wouldn't be able to talk to me on the phone. I thought this even after I knew he could hear me in person with practically zero difficulties. It wasn't until he was over at my place visiting me, and I came out of my room to see that he was talking to his mom. On the phone. Because he can, perfectly well. To this day, I cannot explain why I thought he wouldn't be able to speak on the phone. It was my stupid, stupid mistake, and my boyfriend still finds my naivete when it came to his hearing oh so amusing.

All of this comes to show that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I have confessed to my boyfriend that I was self-conscious at times, simply because I didn't understand. I was terrified to ask the wrong questions and upset him, but then I came to find out that he makes deaf jokes that make me cringe, not him. I was afraid of yanking one of his implants out of his head on accident. I have multiple times now, and it has never once been a big deal. I was self-conscious about hitting a nerve, about something that not only impairs his hearing but his life as a whole.

There was one night, at the beginning of our relationship, where we just sat asking each other questions as new couples commonly do. The question was, "What is your biggest insecurity?"

His answer was his hearing. My answer was my body.

I discovered that there are always times where he will feel insecure because he isn't able to hear like everyone else. However, I love the fact that he isn't like everyone else. I sincerely hope that he realizes that.

But no, I will never be able to truly understand what it is like to be deaf, to have this life-changing impairment, and that's OK.

What I do know is that by dating my boyfriend I have learned this—everybody is insecure about something. Some are insecure about something as superficial as their looks like I am. Then some are insecure about something that affects their entire life, such as my boyfriend with his hearing. It has occurred to me that if my boyfriend can overcome something as life-altering as his deafness then I can overcome body insecurity and many other obstacles in my life now, thanks to him.

I have never met a guy as willing to listen to me and my minuscule problems as my boyfriend. I have never experienced problems in my life as severe as his deafness, but he always makes my problems, thoughts, insecurities, etc. feel validated. He is understanding and considerate. He is reassuring and has a heart of gold, and I continue to be amazed by him each day that we spend together.

So, yes, my boyfriend is deaf, but he most definitely is not a terrible listener. Not at all.

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10 Thoughts That Pop Into Every Girl's Mind When Her Boyfriend Says He'll Be There In Less Than 20

Is it acceptable to text back and ask him to wait 20 minutes so you can get ready and clean your apartment?

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I love seeing my boyfriend's name pop up on my phone and see a text that he is on his way over. I'm so excited that I get to see him but then panic sets in. I only have 20 minutes to make sure that my apartment is completely clean and that I'm ready for date night. Well, I know 20 minutes isn't enough time and these thoughts cross my mind in the 20 minutes of panic that occur before he gets here.

1. I literally have 20 minutes to clean everything so he doesn't think I sat around all day eating Cheetos and watching Netflix.

I probably did, but he doesn't need to know that...yet.

2. I have to change into real clothes and out of my old college crew neck and the leggings I have worn for the last three days.

Nothing screams sexy like that, right? Wrong. Time to empty out my closet in search of the perfect outfit.

3. Do I need to take out the trash?

It's only one bag, so it should be fine if I just leave it for now.

4. Do I need to fix my hair?

My hair is a fizzy mess and is falling out of the bobby pins. Does it really matter though because it always is?

5. When was the last time I shaved?

I mean my legs don't feel that prickly...

6. I most definitely need to take out the trash because the one bag just turned into three bags.

Last time he complained about the one bag so he definitely will complain about three bags.

7. I regret doing nothing all day and should've been cleaning this apartment instead.

How does my apartment get so messy when I live alone?

8. Why do I have so many dirty dishes?

I eat out all of the time yet my sink if full of dishes and I regret not living in an apartment with a dishwasher.

9. I wonder what are plans are for tonight and if I need to even clean.

I mean if we are going out then there is no need to even clean my apartment, right?

10. Efff...he just texted that he just parked so I'm just going to shove everything into my closet and hope for the best.

Clothes, shoes, jackets, books, you name it and it's probably shoved in the closet.

Even though these ten thoughts cross your mind, you know you are beyond excited to see your boyfriend. Plus if you and your boyfriend have been dating a while then he probably is used to your apartment been a mess and you thinking that you look like a mess all the time.

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