8 Signs You Finally Have A Partner That Cares About And Respects Your Mental Health

8 Signs You Finally Have A Partner That Cares About And Respects Your Mental Health

A healthy relationship is a happy relationship, and you deserve that.

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Relationships are tricky things. A lot of time, they're great. They're everything you've ever wanted. Maybe there are a few minor bumps along the way, but that's okay, obstacles are natural. You both care about each other, you both have a great time together, and life is good.

Other times, though, relationships aren't so dreamy. You're manipulated. You're made to feel like you'd be nothing without them. You're shamed for your depressed thoughts, for the actions you take when you're triggered. Your well-being is never put into consideration. You know what it's like to have your love and overall mental health taken advantage of, to have it disregarded.

This time feels different, though, doesn't it? It's like a breath of fresh air to you, like you've been held underwater and are finally able to surface. You feel okay. You feel loved, you feel acknowledged, you feel respected. Things aren't as hard as they used to be and the fighting isn't seemingly never-ending. You're in a relationship, but you still maintain your individual identity.

Why is that? What makes everything so different this time? The fact that you finally have a partner who cares about and respects your mental health. That's why. That can be everything in a relationship, making or breaking it. Your mental health is so, so important, and so is having a partner who is helping it rather than hurting it.

It's pretty obvious when love, respect, and consideration are there. Here are a few signs you finally have a partner who cares about your mental health:

1. You aren't afraid to say how you feel or what you think.

You're no longer constantly anxious when something they do upsets you or you feel differently about something than they do. You know that you can 100% have a calm, honest conversation with them about absolutely anything and they won't love you any less for what you have to say. You know they care about you and always want to know how you're feeling, that way they can do to make things better. They promote a safe and trusting environment to you, like a partner should.

2. You trust each other.

Not just a little bit, but fully. They've proven to you that you never have to worry about where they are or who they're talking to, because you're everything to them. They don't sneak around behind your back, and they haven't broken and manipulated your trust. You might share locations just for safety, but it's not a tracking device, like a chip implanted into a pet. Not only that, but they aren't overbearing on you. They don't make accusations of you being unfaithful or demand to see your phone. You can go out with the opposite gender, you can go out to clubs, you can do whatever without constantly fighting. You know you'll both come right back home to each other at the end of the day, happy.

3. You're able to maintain your individuality.

You don't feel like who you are has been completely taken over by them. You don't feel like a pet or child being restricted and governed by their rules. You're able to have your own interests and friends without trying to force some overlap. You know that they're always able to be your "plus one" to something, but they don't have to be. You don't have to do everything together to prove that you love each other, and you both know that. Neither of you dominates the other—instead, you complement each other. You know who you are, and your mental health doesn't suffer from being taken captive.

4. They don't hold anything over your head.

Sometimes, you make mistakes. Whether that's saying something in a wrong way, behaving inappropriately, or anything that could upset your partner, it doesn't matter. What matters is if they forgive you, they don't constantly bring it back up when another issue arises. Instead, they've fully forgiven you and you both have moved on in your relationship. You don't have to constantly be anxious that if you accidentally don't do something right, it's going to come back up again. Trust and forgiveness are crucial to relationships, and them taking advantage of or manipulating either of those in any way hurts your mental health.

5. You don't feel neglected.

When you're having a bad mental health day, they're there for you. They're actively talking to you to try to make things better wanting to do everything they can to help. You feel like you can be as honest as possible about the state of your mental health and they won't shame you for it. They'll hold you. They'll talk with you about seeing a counselor. They'll care about you. You don't expect them to fix everything, but they don't make things worse when you're hurting. You don't have to worry about them not being there when you need them most because they always, always are.

6. They don't gaslight you.

They don't twist your thoughts and tamper with your perception of reality. They don't try to get you to believe that other people hate you, that they're talking about you behind your back. They don't try to convince you that you were gone for way longer than you actually were. They don't deliberately attempt to control you and your thoughts so that they're the only person you trust. They don't take away your sense of self-worth. There's no manipulation, there's no controlling. There's just love.

7. All of your friends and family love them.

Your friends see how happy they make you, especially compared to your previous relationships. They see how good you both are for each other. Your partner doesn't come as a divide between you and your friends, and they don't cause tension when they're near each other. You feel comfortable being able to bring your partner out with your friends and know it'll be a good time. You don't lose your friends when you're in the relationship, and you talk to more than just your partner every day. They don't cause you to separate from old friends and family or prohibit you from creating new relationships.

8. You don't feel like you have to change who you are.

They don't make you feel like you're too loud, too busy, too talkative, or anything else. You don't feel like you have to adhere to the type of person they want you to be in order for them to love you. They love you just the way that you are. Relationships are about compromise, but you shouldn't be the only one compromising. You don't have to fundamentally change who you are for them to be with you. You don't have to continually fight to get them to love you. Instead, they make you feel like you're the best version of yourself.

Relationships aren't always rainbows and butterflies, but they're not always fighting and feeling drained either. There are more happy times than there are bad times.

The actions of your partner have a significant impact on your mental health because you're so invested in them and the relationship itself. A partner who cares about your mental health won't make it worse through their words and actions, or lack thereof. Their love feels like a breath of fresh air to you, and you're finally getting the love and care you deserve.


Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Things My Significant Other MUST Do In Order To Earn The Privilege Of Meeting My Mom

I say "Hakuna Matata" on the daily, but you really need to say it when you prepare to meet my mom.

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Besides getting married, meeting the parents can be the most stressful time in any relationship. Your boyfriend could be freaking out because he doesn't want to sound like a loon in front of your dad or your mom may be chopping the vegetables a little too loudly making your girlfriend seem uncomfortable in the presence of a knife. Stressing for days (maybe even weeks) up until the day arrives is apart of being in love because you want your parents to love your significant other just as much as you do and when the dinner is finally over, you can breathe again. My family is a little different and my boyfriend has to do these things to be able to meet my mom and my brother (may as well add my cousins into the mix, too because they're my older siblings).

1. Pass the "Best Friends Test"

I have 6 best friends and each one of them has a unique personality. There's the momma friend, the crazy friend, the questionable friend, the laid back friend, the turnt friend, and the friend who just wants me to be happy. If they don't like you, I'll talk to them to figure out why they don't like you. Either way, if you hurt me, they'll hurt you.

2. Prove that stability is your main priority five years from now, even if I'm not in your plan

Things happen and we can't predict everything. We can be together now, break up in a year, and then get back together. It's part of being a teenager/young adult. We deal with a lot, I mean, we're in college, but the older we get, the more stressful life gets, so I want you to show me that you can handle whatever stresses come your way. I want you to be stable on your own before adding a girlfriend into the mix.

3. Deal with my "Hunger Fits"

Let's face it, I can be a brat, but I'm only a brat on three occasions.

1. I'm sleepy.

2. You didn't let me get my way.

3. I'm hungry.

If you eat without me or go get food without me, I might cry and pout like a two-year-old, so you have to be able to handle it. Pro-tip, have snacks with you whenever we go somewhere.

4. Be okay with getting roasted

My cousins are the funniest people you'll ever meet, but they aren't afraid to talk about you while you sit in front of them, so I need to know that you're okay with being roasted. They're not doing it to be mean (trust me, they aren't), but they're doing it because they're my family and they care about me as if I were their little sister.

5. Be able to hold an intelligent conversation for more than 5 minutes

Good conversation is an essential part of a relationship and I love talking about things that are happening in the world today and because my mom is super knowledgeable on a lot of things, you have to be able to talk for more than 5 minutes about something that's engaging.

6. Remain calm in the face of a difficult conversation

I know when it came to certain topics, I used to go off like a volcano, but I've had to grow out of exploding on people just because they don't agree with me. It takes months, maybe even years to master that type of patience and self-restraint, but I grew up fast, so I needed to learn in less than a year how to hold my tongue. I need to know that if you and I (or someone in my family) were to be in a serious conversation, you'd remain calm. I won't blow up on you, so please don't blow up on me (or my family) because then it might not end so well.

7. State your opinion, no matter how mad I might get

Following up with number six, this is a must! I'm a writer, so I deal with a lot of written opinions on the daily. I'm also involved in a lot of organizations where open dialogue is encouraged, so I deal with a lot of verbal opinions, too. People are going to say what they want to say no matter what and I want you to be able to tell me what's on your mind no matter how severe it may be. I'm here for you and I want you to know that you can trust me with your opinions. I might not agree with them, but I can deal with them.

8. Be able to sit and talk about sports and video games with my brother

You'll for sure meet my older brother before you meet my mom only because he acts just like my late grandfather; calm and laid back. He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset unless I get upset, so you don't have to worry about the big bad overprotective brother (but he is very big and very overprotective). He'd much rather sit and talk about "fork-knife" or a basketball game than grill you. It's just how he is. Also, don't be offended if he engages in conversation with you for like ten minutes before he loses interest in talking to you and goes back to playing his game.

9. Be okay and open to the possibility of a long distance relationship

I don't plan on staying down South for long. I actually won't stay here after I graduate from college. Long distance relationships don't work for 40% of all couples, but I want us to not be a statistic. I believe that we could make it, so I would need to know that you'd be okay with me being a thousand miles away; and of course, if you were halfway across the country, I would learn to be okay with it, too.

10. Love your family as much as you love me

Family is a big deal for me. It's always been me, my older brother, and my mom. You may come from a household where it's you and both of your parents, you and one parent, or you, your parent(s), and your siblings. I love my mom and brother with all of my heart and would drop anything (and I have dropped things) to be with them. I want to see that you love your family with the same amount of love that you give me. A man who loves the family he is born into will love the family he marries into.

My family's triangle has never been broken before, so this is new territory for all of us. Don't feel like an outsider, though! These may seem extensive and extra, but it's the things that matter to me. Aside from the apparent trustworthiness, loyalty, wanting three pets, having a sense of humor, and education that I look for in a guy, you have to do these ten things to meet my mom.

If you pass all of these, then you get to meet her. Don't stress about it though because if she doesn't like you at the first meeting, she'll come around by the next because she loves me and she'll see that I love you.

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To The Parents Who Raised The Man Of My Dreams, It Paid Off

You did a phenomenal job.

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As a parent, you always wonder if you're doing it right. Parenting doesn't come with instructions. You're not told how to punish your children in every situation or what to do whenever they accomplish something. You're not completely prepared for it. However, for someone without instructions, you did a phenomenal job.

You raised the man of my dreams.

I've dated throughout my teens and every guy seemed to be the same, but with your son everything was different. Your son is everything I've ever wanted. He is perfect. He is such a gentleman. I want you to know everything you taught him like holding the door and paying for dates, it worked.

I want you to know he doesn't show anger towards me. I'm sure I aggravate him and make him angry, but I want you to know I'll never know when I've done so because he doesn't show it. He gets mad with football games and after he gets done yelling, he apologizes.

He makes me feel beautiful. He has seen me at my absolute worse. He has seen me right when I wake up in the morning with no makeup and my hair is a mess and he tells me I'm beautiful. Whenever so get dressed up, he notices. He makes sure to let me know I look beautiful. He pays attention to detail like that my hair is curled or I have a new nose ring in and he adds them in with the compliments.

He is always supportive. Whenever I started back to school, he was so proud of me. When I started writing for The Odyssey, he shared my articles. He will tell me how proud he is of me. When I make good grades on assignments, he tells me good job.

He is so loving. He comforts me whenever I'm sick. When I had the stomach bug, he got my medicine, trashcans, and played with my hair to comfort me. He brushes and straightens my hair for me whenever I don't feel like it because he wants it to look good.

Thanks to you I have found someone who treats me wonderful. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't know how to treat a lady. It is because of you that he turned out to be nice and respectful man he is today. I want you to know you did an amazing job raising him. He's everything I've ever wanted. Thank you for raising him to be such a gentleman. Thank you for raising him to be everything I've ever dreamed of.

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