Falling in love is one of the most amazing feelings you can experience, but falling out of love can be one of the worst. If college wasn’t already stressful enough, it is also the time when many people experience their first relationship. Balancing the stress of classes, clubs, family, and friends along with a relationship can make even the strong couple crumble.
Despite it all, no one wants to deal with a breakup, but sometimes it needs to happen. Here are five signs that your relationship needs to end:
1. You focus on how your relationship used to be.
Things were amazing a month ago, or two months, or six, and all the two of you have to do is get back to that point again. The longer time goes on, the more spectacular and magical the beginning of your relationship seems to be. The present just doesn’t compare to the past, and you continue to cling to how things used to be.
2. You can’t imagine a future with him.
When people ask you where you want to be in five years, you go on and on about your future career, where you want to live, and the adventures you want to go on. In none of those do you see him there with you. Even imagining a future with him on the short term, like next semester, seems impossible. It’s not that you’re not planning a future, it’s that your building one without him.
3. You cringe when your family asks about him.
You just don’t know how to respond. It’s not like your relationship is awful, it’s just not great. Do you say how you actually feel? How would they respond? Instead of finding out, you take the safe route and say “we’re good!” and hope you have a good poker face.
4. You don’t want to hang out with him.
Sometimes (a lot of the time) you get a text from him and you ignore it. It’s not because you don’t want to see him, you do, but you know seeing him means facing the problems the two of you have, and then fighting about them. Again. So instead you ignore it, and him, and instead pretend everything is fine.
5. You’re searching for reasons to validate what you already knows is true.
You know something isn’t ok between the two of you. You feel hurt and scared and confused so you try to find answers. You hope there’s some perfect article out there that will somehow give you all the answers you need to save your relationship. Realistically, that article isn’t out there, but this one is telling you that if you think you need some magical advice, then you already have your answer.
Despite how great having a relationship is, college isn’t the time to settle. If your boyfriend doesn’t make you feel amazing and loved, he’s not worth staying with. Take these four short years to explore what kind of person you want to be, what kind of person you want to be with, and finding out what makes you happy. There will always be time to find the love of your life, but you’ll never get the chance to be this free and unconstrained again.