4 Signs He's Just Trying To Hook Up And Nothing More

4 Signs He's Just Trying To Hook Up And Nothing More

Crushes suck because you always want to be the "likee" and not the "liker"

It really sucks when you begin to notice someone attractive, and think nothing more of it until you guys start making eye contact with each other every class... or really, every time you see each other.

Him making that consistent eye contact was a key to getting your attention. You realize how beautiful this person is after looking at them a couple times. You're alert every time he person speaks, and you smile quite often around him.

Then you realize something horrific happened.

You've developed a crush.

You hate getting crushes because either 1) you're used to it being the other way around... 2) it never ends up well for you... 3) no one wants to be vulnerable.

What the hell do you do? Crushes suck because you always want to be the "likee" and not the "liker" or what I like to call it... the "pursuee" or the "pursuer".

You have to do something, or else nothing will happen. So you initiate first. You add him on social media and make an excuse to talk to him. He answers, and so it has started.

These signs that he's just looking to hookup and nothing more should help you laugh at your shitty situation and let go of your insecurity/anxiety. If you're here, you're most likely the girl that does get some attention, but when you're the one crushing, you have no clue what to do, and no idea how to read him.

1. He asks for nudes.

You're either going to love sending him nudes or completely hate that he asked you. We all know this kind of guy. He wants to take a look at what he's dealing with. You can't always blame him, girls are just as judgmental. But we're probably not so straightforward on asking for nudes.

If you end up sending him some sexy snap, he'll go on and on about what he'll do to you. You had the power to turn him on and he's into you. He HAS to be, right? Or just into hooking up with you... try not being too available to him unless you don't really mind him not being anything else to you.

2. He doesn't care to know about you.

You hang out for the first time and are so excited because you get to finally see who the hell this guy is. Or, you guys start texting and it's not really like how the other guys text you. The other guys who talk to you actually want to get to know you, but with him, there's some sexiness to him cause.... all he talks about is sex with you.

You ask him some questions to start conversations, and it ends up being a one-sided conversation all the time because he really doesn't care about getting to know you. He's interested in one thing and one thing only. Don't let this upset you, sometimes there's more to it than why he doesn't seem interested in who you are. It could be that he's just not as curious because he isn't the "pursuer". It could mean that he doesn't even realize he's doing it, or you're asking stupid questions.

Then you find yourself getting excited when his name pops up on your phone. But at the end of the day, you realized that all he talks about is having sex with you, or anything sexual related. Here's the red flag, if he says nothing but sexual things to you, then he's just looking to hookup and nothing else. BUT...not to give you high hopes or anything, sometimes getting someone turned on beforehand makes them interested in talking to you because they probably have stubborn personalities and high standards and don't want to waste their time on an average girl.

Play his game. Guys don't like to think they're being used (no matter what they say) because being wanted and loved makes any guy feel superior. If he's getting turned on by you, then you're in. You have the power to do what you please if you play your cards right.

3. He doesn't care to hang out with you.

If you're the type of girl who is used to guys wanting to hang with you, that's probably why you've opened up this article because you are genuinely confused on if this new crush of yours is only looking to getting that poo-tang or if he's actually interested in you. You don't want to feel defeated by just going to hook up with him as a booty call, so you see if he has the decency to want to hang out.

Having crushes suck because you don't want to be vulnerable. Especially when he doesn't care to hang out with you casually to even start a friendship. You want to hang out because you get to see how he's really like in a casual environment, or even have him take you on a date. It's the least he can do if he's trying to hook up in the end. But if he doesn't care to hang out and just tells you to come over to hook up, cut him off. 'Cause once that happens just once, that's all it'll ever be with this guy (unless you're fine with it).

If he cared to hang out with you, he would genuinely want to know who you are. That would mean he wants to surrender some of his time to you. But if not, that means he has other things he considers better than spending time with you. Don't let this upset you either because just like everyone else, people have their reasons. Just because you started crushing on him, does not mean he should have too.

4. He mentions his ex often.

Mentioning an ex could really mean they are genuinely over them, or they are genuinely not! Where he is in his life, you wouldn't really know unless he opened up to you. If he mentions that he just got out of a relationship, then he's hinting that he isn't ready for something new. He could also be hinting that he's still thinking about her, or there is extra baggage left over he has to take care of.

Don't worry.

If you think all he's trying to do is hookup and nothing more, show him what more you have to offer.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hello, I'm 24, And Yes, I'm A Virgin — And Yes, I'll Answer All Of Your Redundant Questions At Once

You read that correctly.


"What? Are you serious?"

"Wait a minute, there is no way you are telling me the truth."

"How are you still a virgin? Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage? Why haven't you had sex yet? That's just so crazy..."

Welcome to my world.

First, let me introduce myself again. Hi there, my name is Reanna, I'm a 24-year-old writer and also a virgin, how do you do? The first thing in that sentence is the V word, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that isn't something I start going and telling people, trust me it's the last thing I want to do. I get bombarded with almost every single question up above and I hate answering it every time. The only time I decide to share it is if someone asks me something along the lines of sex or when I can't offer my opinion.

It's a little-known fact that I tend to hide from people but not anymore. Let the world know, is it's any of their business but guess what? I'm not the only one out there. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. What bothers me most is when people start questioning it and looking at me like I'm crazy.

Fine, I'll answer your simple questions above.

Yes, I said I was a virgin. Yes, again, I'm dead serious. I'm telling you the truth, why lie? I'm still a virgin because I choose to be. No, I'm not religious. I don't want to ever get married so I'm not waiting for marriage. Again, I just haven't found the guy to have sex with and it is still my choice. Think it's crazy, just don't judge me.

Sex is sex, what's the big problem here?

If I choose not to sleep with a guy, I have the right to it. I have the right to be a virgin until I decide it is the best time not to be anymore. I already know I shocked you by the title but why should you be so shocked? Is it because most people lose their virginity in high school? Is it usually to their first boyfriend?

Nothing separates me from you.

You don't need to laugh or really comment on the sentence. If I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin. If you are not, then you're not. If you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange situation to be in when people look at you like you are an alien from a different planet. People get so surprised as if you just said you came from Mars.

Maybe this is my experience but I'm in no rush to have sex.

There comes a day when it may happen but I'm not rushing to find the one so to speak. Until then, I'm glad this is off my chest and I'm glad for you to know that. You know why? Because any guy you tell that to is desperate to change your mind, trust me. If you can't respect it, why should I be the one you sleep with?

So guys here is a complete tip: If a girl tells you she is a virgin, don't act so shocked, don't act so surprised.

Nod your head, respect the choice and move on. It's as simple as that.

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What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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