4 Signs He's Just Trying To Hook Up And Nothing More

4 Signs He's Just Trying To Hook Up And Nothing More

Crushes suck because you always want to be the "likee" and not the "liker"
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It really sucks when you begin to notice someone attractive, and think nothing more of it until you guys start making eye contact with each other every class... or really, every time you see each other.

Him making that consistent eye contact was a key to getting your attention. You realize how beautiful this person is after looking at them a couple times. You're alert every time he person speaks, and you smile quite often around him.

Then you realize something horrific happened.

You've developed a crush.

You hate getting crushes because either 1) you're used to it being the other way around... 2) it never ends up well for you... 3) no one wants to be vulnerable.

What the hell do you do? Crushes suck because you always want to be the "likee" and not the "liker" or what I like to call it... the "pursuee" or the "pursuer".

You have to do something, or else nothing will happen. So you initiate first. You add him on social media and make an excuse to talk to him. He answers, and so it has started.

These signs that he's just looking to hookup and nothing more should help you laugh at your shitty situation and let go of your insecurity/anxiety. If you're here, you're most likely the girl that does get some attention, but when you're the one crushing, you have no clue what to do, and no idea how to read him.

1. He asks for nudes.

You're either going to love sending him nudes or completely hate that he asked you. We all know this kind of guy. He wants to take a look at what he's dealing with. You can't always blame him, girls are just as judgmental. But we're probably not so straightforward on asking for nudes.

If you end up sending him some sexy snap, he'll go on and on about what he'll do to you. You had the power to turn him on and he's into you. He HAS to be, right? Or just into hooking up with you... try not being too available to him unless you don't really mind him not being anything else to you.

2. He doesn't care to know about you.

You hang out for the first time and are so excited because you get to finally see who the hell this guy is. Or, you guys start texting and it's not really like how the other guys text you. The other guys who talk to you actually want to get to know you, but with him, there's some sexiness to him cause.... all he talks about is sex with you.

You ask him some questions to start conversations, and it ends up being a one-sided conversation all the time because he really doesn't care about getting to know you. He's interested in one thing and one thing only. Don't let this upset you, sometimes there's more to it than why he doesn't seem interested in who you are. It could be that he's just not as curious because he isn't the "pursuer". It could mean that he doesn't even realize he's doing it, or you're asking stupid questions.

Then you find yourself getting excited when his name pops up on your phone. But at the end of the day, you realized that all he talks about is having sex with you, or anything sexual related. Here's the red flag, if he says nothing but sexual things to you, then he's just looking to hookup and nothing else. BUT...not to give you high hopes or anything, sometimes getting someone turned on beforehand makes them interested in talking to you because they probably have stubborn personalities and high standards and don't want to waste their time on an average girl.

Play his game. Guys don't like to think they're being used (no matter what they say) because being wanted and loved makes any guy feel superior. If he's getting turned on by you, then you're in. You have the power to do what you please if you play your cards right.

3. He doesn't care to hang out with you.

If you're the type of girl who is used to guys wanting to hang with you, that's probably why you've opened up this article because you are genuinely confused on if this new crush of yours is only looking to getting that poo-tang or if he's actually interested in you. You don't want to feel defeated by just going to hook up with him as a booty call, so you see if he has the decency to want to hang out.

Having crushes suck because you don't want to be vulnerable. Especially when he doesn't care to hang out with you casually to even start a friendship. You want to hang out because you get to see how he's really like in a casual environment, or even have him take you on a date. It's the least he can do if he's trying to hook up in the end. But if he doesn't care to hang out and just tells you to come over to hook up, cut him off. 'Cause once that happens just once, that's all it'll ever be with this guy (unless you're fine with it).

If he cared to hang out with you, he would genuinely want to know who you are. That would mean he wants to surrender some of his time to you. But if not, that means he has other things he considers better than spending time with you. Don't let this upset you either because just like everyone else, people have their reasons. Just because you started crushing on him, does not mean he should have too.

4. He mentions his ex often.

Mentioning an ex could really mean they are genuinely over them, or they are genuinely not! Where he is in his life, you wouldn't really know unless he opened up to you. If he mentions that he just got out of a relationship, then he's hinting that he isn't ready for something new. He could also be hinting that he's still thinking about her, or there is extra baggage left over he has to take care of.

Don't worry.

If you think all he's trying to do is hookup and nothing more, show him what more you have to offer.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Thoughts You Have While Losing Your Virginity

Oh my god, it's happening!

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Everyone has an idea of how they want the first time they have sex to be like. And while you might have this idea, and you might be prepared, you definitely aren't prepared for how awkward it can be. (Or for those awkward thoughts that are racing through your mind as it's happening.) So I surveyed former virgins about they were thinking about it when they had sex for the first time.

Here are all the thoughts they had when they lost their virginity:

1. "Is it over yet?"

OK, so this one was me. But it was so BORING. He laid there and didn't do anything, I was on top and I thought it was going to hurt but it didn't... I'll let you guys connect the dots. But anyway, I lied to him said that it hurt and asked if we could stop just so it would be over.

2. "I hope I'm doing OK."

Let's be real here though, this was probably everyone.

3. "This is happening. This is happening."

Probably everyones thoughts right when things start heating up.

4. "Well, this isn't what I expected. It's nothing like the movies."

Losing your virginity is nothing like "Fifty Shades of Grey." It's more like fifty shades of red from, embarrassment and putting in work.

5. "I hope it doesn't hurt—it hurts, when is this going to end."

I would bet that a lot of girls had this thought.

6. "He's not going anywhere."

I got a bunch of these comments.

7. "She's amazing."

Once again I got a bunch of these.

8. "This is happening fast."

It probably did, one minute you're putting on Netflix and the next you're naked...

9. "Do I really want this?"

If this is what you're thinking, just stop... yes even in the middle of it.

10. "I don't want this to end."

#CantRelate

11. "Will I look any different?"

I mean you don't look like your orgasm face, but no you won't look different.

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Contrary To Popular Belief, Friends With Benefits Can Work—But Only If You’re Willing To Take 'Friends' Out Of The Equation

The beauty of being friends with benefits is that if you find someone you trust, you can have that intimacy, without any expectations or jealousy.

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I was involved in a very toxic, controlling and jealousy-fueled relationship a few years back which was why, upon breaking off from it, I swore to myself that I will never ever commit into another relationship until I truly found The One.

After all, I'll be the one to admit—the college dating scene sucks. Every time I convince myself to try going out more and to start dating again, I end up instead going on one god-awful first date after another, relying on friends to set me up with guys, and being stampeded by that anxiety-inducing responsibility of having to text, call and snapchat a boy around the clock just to convince him that I'm into him.

I never actually considered having casual relationships or god forbid—even a friends with benefits situation with any guy I met. Maybe it's just my conservative upbringing in which my parents constantly drilled it into my head that I definitely shouldn't go around messing around with a different guy each week. Or maybe it was my reluctance to give it up to some random guy I just met and consequently come off as “easy."

But then this guy came along. And he completely transformed me, and how I viewed casual relationships.

Let's just call him "John."

But John is someone who I hit it off with from the moment we met and he's probably the only guy I've met who I had a physical attraction to, but not an emotional attraction to.

I have to admit that although he portrays this “bad boy" persona on the exterior, he does truly have a kind soul on the inside which I'm usually able to see right through. But this “bad boy" image is probably why I wouldn't consider dating him in a serious relationship. I mean, because if I brought a guy like him home, my dad would most likely flip shit and my mom would throw a plant at him.

On top of that, our interests and career paths are so different from each other that it's hard to find things to relate to or build mutual respect for each other. He's graduating in a few months, heading off to grad school or perhaps even starting a entry level corporate job, and I don't ever see myself trying to commit to someone like that when I'm still stuck in school with a gazillion responsibilities to keep track of.

But well I'll put it this way—we were extremely attracted to each other, and one thing led to another and we hooked up. And as we sat next to each other talking unanimously for probably an hour after doing the deed, we both decided that we weren't looking for a relationship but that we definitely didn't want this to be some kind of one-night stand.

So we decided to be friends with benefits.

Now, I think the reason why friends with benefits is so looked down upon in our generation is that it defines everything that's wrong with dating culture today. It takes away the conventional method of wooing someone, going on a few dates and then using intimacy as a way to express your love for one another. And also, many people don't like it because it's easy to catch feelings for someone, and that's it's nearly impossible for it to actually work out.

But contrary to popular belief, it actually works.

But here's the catch: friends with benefits is NOT a balancing act of being friends and being sex partners. Rather, you have to be willing to give up one side of the equation in order to successfully obtain the other.

And in the case between me and John, we gave up trying to be “friends" in order to maintain the “benefits" and as a result, it works out perfectly.

The beauty of being "friends with benefits" is that if you find someone you trust, you can have that intimacy, without any expectations or jealousy. And if you stop considering them to be your “friend," then you don't constantly have to think about them or try to make time to see them and you don't even need to freak out if you haven't heard from them for a few days.

But when you do get to see them and get to hang out, it's just this beautiful time you both can savor and really be in the moment without having to express all your emotional thoughts and feelings. Everything is stress-free between me and John, because of the lack of expectation of trying to either make this into an intimate relationship or trying to still be “friends" on top of it.

So here's my main piece of advice to anyone who wants friends with benefits without catching feelings: do not start texting each other all the time or try seeing each other too much. Because if you do, that's when you start catching feelings and try developing something more in the relationship.

If I had the choice, I probably wouldn't have followed John on Instagram (and I encourage you not to), just so I don't ever have to have that thought of whether he was watching my Insta Story or not, or who that girl was in his picture.

My other advice is to take try to take the notion of "friends" out of the equation. As mentioned above, I feel as if most of the time when "friends with benefits" doesn't work out, it's because you both are trying so hard to keep up the "friends" part of it that it begins to blur the lines together, which leads to confusion and heartbreak.

And if you find yourself still wanting to be his "friend" after enjoying the "benefits", I would recommend you to STOP what you're doing and have a conversation with him ASAP.

Be honest, be upfront and don't impose.

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