I'm Single And Happy Because It's Not Hard To Be Both

I'm Single And Happy Because It's Not Hard To Be Both

Too many people dwell on being alone, and I don't understand why.
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Being a student is hard.

Working part-time as a student is hard.

Keeping a steady budget and paying bills as a student is hard.

Managing a schedule chock full of classes and shifts while trying to maintain a social life is hard.

Being single is not hard.

If anything, it makes life easier. The point of this article is not to knock those who are in committed and faithful relationships, but to remind those who aren't that it's not the end of the world.

Too many people dwell on being alone, and I've just never quite understood why.

In high school, relationships didn't make sense to me. Teenagers trying to be serious with one another, but still having to ask their parents permission to borrow the car -- how ironic.

I got into one out of peer pressure and guilt, but all it did was ruin my relationship with one of my best friends and confirm my prior beliefs. Granted, I wasn't with the "right" person, but who is at 16?

I'm not bitter about it nor have I avoided relationships specifically because of that one incident. It just opened my eyes to the reality of commitment at a young age: it's unnecessary stress.

At a young age, I became the friend that everyone came to with their 'relationship' questions. Adolescents doing stupid things, trying to incorporate whatever they saw on Facebook or MTV into their own lives -- helping people craft that risky text to their significant other when things were "complicated" was my specialty.

Every once in a while, I would ask people why they would come to me when they knew how I felt about relationships. Every single answer revolved around me being level-headed or having common sense.

Basically, people felt the same way I did about relationships, they were just scared of being alone (God forbid you finish school before worrying about the rest of your life -- what a ridiculous concept).

Fast forward to college, and I still get the same text messages seeking advice. Except now, they're about pregnancy scares and Tinder matches rather than who's taking whom to the dance.

Yet, I still haven't been in a committed relationship.

I can't tell you for sure if I've ever been in love, but I've certainly shared mutual feelings with someone I could see being a part of my future. When I started having those feelings, I looked at my life differently. For the first time, I started to consider that a relationship may not be a burden after all.

I was talking my friends' ears off about it, trying to make sense of having legitimate feelings for someone and wondering if it was worth all the emotional vulnerability. For a short while, I had no interest in meeting anyone else, I didn't even mind sitting at the table, watching the drinks while everyone else danced with a guy at the bar. My mind let loose and I soon thought about little else but one guy and the possibility of a future with him.

Just when I decided that it was worth it, there was a problem: we were both in completely different stages in our lives.

That is so common at this age, I don't know why people try so hard to fight it.

I woke up and realized I wasn't ready to start playing house. I needed to reel it in and get my priorities in check. I'm in school to plan my own future, not become a spouse. Why get seriously involved with someone on a completely different path who isn't ready to settle down either?

Homework, exams, bills, family, friends, grades, work -- why add emotions on top of all that stress?

Everywhere I look, people are making decisions about their future based on their significant other: where they move, where they go to school, whether or not they take a job -- to me, it's sad.

I've never felt more like myself than when I exercise my freedom to treat dating like an extracurricular activity. School doesn't allow for much free time, and when it does, I owe that time to myself: to have fun and de-stress. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and fishing is a hobby -- not a lifestyle.

We have the rest of our lives to commit and settle down (or for the pessimists who are convinced they'll die young, why waste our youth trying to force everything into place?).

Don't stress about finding 'Mr. Right'.

Get yourself a 'Mr. Right Now' instead, because he's probably still figuring it out too.

Cover Image Credit: PX Here

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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