11 Little Things That Will Ruin Your Relationship In A Big Way If You're Not Careful

11 Little Things That Will Ruin Your Relationship In A Big Way If You're Not Careful

Acting too cocky in front of your partner might ruin things between you.

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I have been apart of a couple of different relationships here and there. I've experienced long term, short term, toxic and loving... a complete spectrum.

I found myself in a very manipulative and narcissistic relationship at some point. During this time, I realized that the small things do matter. If they don't, they do harshly damage your relationship which can blind yourself from wanting to leave because the relationship ends up making you feel like all the arguments and sadness is your fault and you want to be there to fix it.

In my new relationship, I am cautious of the tiny things and how they can affect my relationship. Big and small, everything should be taken into consideration when problems arise.

1. Holding a grudge

It's been said that holding in grudges is bad for our mental health. Holding a grudge feels like extra weight we have to carry around which isn't good for yourself or your partner. Speaking to them about why you're feeling weighted down may seem like a bad idea, but in reality, keeping it to yourself will most likely result into a worse problem.

2. Thinking about the past

The past is something that creeps up on us sometimes whether we like it or not. If you or your partner are bringing up things from their past before you or them came into the picture,

3. Passing the blame

Constantly passing the blame onto your partner may seem like nothing too serious, but it adds up. We're all in the wrong sometimes and need to admit it whether we like it or not. I experienced this and it always ended up with me apologizing for things that I had nothing to do with.

4. Jealousy

We all like a little jealousy here and there so it makes us feel wanted by our partner. On the other hand, serious jealousy is a waste of time. Serious jealousy can consist of wanting your partner or them wanting you all to themselves, wanting to control their or your life, etc. It can take a serious toll on you or them if it gets out of hand.

5. Bad communication

One of the biggest keys to a good relationship is communication. Having bad communication can cause mixed emotions and actions. In my past relationship, he had no communication with me whatsoever. He never listened and never took what I said into consideration. It can start out as little and become a huge problem in a short matter of time.

6. Making fun of your partner's insecurities

Relationships of all kinds involve some type of friendly teasing, but if you are well aware of your partner's insecurities and yet still find a way to poke at them, that is not love.

7. Be taken for granted

When you start to feel that you're being taken for granted, it can feel like one of the worst feelings in the world. Sometimes it may not even seem like you or your partner realize what you're doing, but the feeling of being taken for granted really does suck.

8. Small white lies

Lies should never be apart of a relationship. Working around a question, not answering it fully or straight up lying can cause trust issues which are very hard to forgive in the end.

9. Control issues

Controlling someone is a definite no in a relationship. My last relationship, I was controlled the whole time and I never seen it until he was out of my life. I blinded myself by thinking he loved me and that he was that in to me, but it was never any of those things at all. From telling me what I could and couldn't wear to saying I couldn't hang out with any guy friends. None of that was true love.

10. Ignorance

Having someone who would constantly say that you're wrong or everything you do is stupid is not what someone should say to their partner. Ignorance is an ugly trait that can be hidden by feelings you have for them, it can also be a sign of an emotionally abusive relationship.

11. Confidence/cockiness

Confidence is a great thing to have, but having too much of it can have bad results. In my toxic relationship, my partner had a huge ego and he made sure everyone knew that "he was better than them." Whatever he did and wanted for his future was the right way, and when I had my future, he said it was stupid and I'd never make it far because it wasn't his future he had for me. There is a true difference between confidence and cockiness.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

10 Things My Significant Other MUST Do In Order To Earn The Privilege Of Meeting My Mom

I say "Hakuna Matata" on the daily, but you really need to say it when you prepare to meet my mom.

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Besides getting married, meeting the parents can be the most stressful time in any relationship. Your boyfriend could be freaking out because he doesn't want to sound like a loon in front of your dad or your mom may be chopping the vegetables a little too loudly making your girlfriend seem uncomfortable in the presence of a knife. Stressing for days (maybe even weeks) up until the day arrives is apart of being in love because you want your parents to love your significant other just as much as you do and when the dinner is finally over, you can breathe again. My family is a little different and my boyfriend has to do these things to be able to meet my mom and my brother (may as well add my cousins into the mix, too because they're my older siblings).

1. Pass the "Best Friends Test"

I have 6 best friends and each one of them has a unique personality. There's the momma friend, the crazy friend, the questionable friend, the laid back friend, the turnt friend, and the friend who just wants me to be happy. If they don't like you, I'll talk to them to figure out why they don't like you. Either way, if you hurt me, they'll hurt you.

2. Prove that stability is your main priority five years from now, even if I'm not in your plan

Things happen and we can't predict everything. We can be together now, break up in a year, and then get back together. It's part of being a teenager/young adult. We deal with a lot, I mean, we're in college, but the older we get, the more stressful life gets, so I want you to show me that you can handle whatever stresses come your way. I want you to be stable on your own before adding a girlfriend into the mix.

3. Deal with my "Hunger Fits"

Let's face it, I can be a brat, but I'm only a brat on three occasions.

1. I'm sleepy.

2. You didn't let me get my way.

3. I'm hungry.

If you eat without me or go get food without me, I might cry and pout like a two-year-old, so you have to be able to handle it. Pro-tip, have snacks with you whenever we go somewhere.

4. Be okay with getting roasted

My cousins are the funniest people you'll ever meet, but they aren't afraid to talk about you while you sit in front of them, so I need to know that you're okay with being roasted. They're not doing it to be mean (trust me, they aren't), but they're doing it because they're my family and they care about me as if I were their little sister.

5. Be able to hold an intelligent conversation for more than 5 minutes

Good conversation is an essential part of a relationship and I love talking about things that are happening in the world today and because my mom is super knowledgeable on a lot of things, you have to be able to talk for more than 5 minutes about something that's engaging.

6. Remain calm in the face of a difficult conversation

I know when it came to certain topics, I used to go off like a volcano, but I've had to grow out of exploding on people just because they don't agree with me. It takes months, maybe even years to master that type of patience and self-restraint, but I grew up fast, so I needed to learn in less than a year how to hold my tongue. I need to know that if you and I (or someone in my family) were to be in a serious conversation, you'd remain calm. I won't blow up on you, so please don't blow up on me (or my family) because then it might not end so well.

7. State your opinion, no matter how mad I might get

Following up with number six, this is a must! I'm a writer, so I deal with a lot of written opinions on the daily. I'm also involved in a lot of organizations where open dialogue is encouraged, so I deal with a lot of verbal opinions, too. People are going to say what they want to say no matter what and I want you to be able to tell me what's on your mind no matter how severe it may be. I'm here for you and I want you to know that you can trust me with your opinions. I might not agree with them, but I can deal with them.

8. Be able to sit and talk about sports and video games with my brother

You'll for sure meet my older brother before you meet my mom only because he acts just like my late grandfather; calm and laid back. He goes with the flow and doesn't get upset unless I get upset, so you don't have to worry about the big bad overprotective brother (but he is very big and very overprotective). He'd much rather sit and talk about "fork-knife" or a basketball game than grill you. It's just how he is. Also, don't be offended if he engages in conversation with you for like ten minutes before he loses interest in talking to you and goes back to playing his game.

9. Be okay and open to the possibility of a long distance relationship

I don't plan on staying down South for long. I actually won't stay here after I graduate from college. Long distance relationships don't work for 40% of all couples, but I want us to not be a statistic. I believe that we could make it, so I would need to know that you'd be okay with me being a thousand miles away; and of course, if you were halfway across the country, I would learn to be okay with it, too.

10. Love your family as much as you love me

Family is a big deal for me. It's always been me, my older brother, and my mom. You may come from a household where it's you and both of your parents, you and one parent, or you, your parent(s), and your siblings. I love my mom and brother with all of my heart and would drop anything (and I have dropped things) to be with them. I want to see that you love your family with the same amount of love that you give me. A man who loves the family he is born into will love the family he marries into.

My family's triangle has never been broken before, so this is new territory for all of us. Don't feel like an outsider, though! These may seem extensive and extra, but it's the things that matter to me. Aside from the apparent trustworthiness, loyalty, wanting three pets, having a sense of humor, and education that I look for in a guy, you have to do these ten things to meet my mom.

If you pass all of these, then you get to meet her. Don't stress about it though because if she doesn't like you at the first meeting, she'll come around by the next because she loves me and she'll see that I love you.

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To The Parents Who Raised The Man Of My Dreams, It Paid Off

You did a phenomenal job.

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As a parent, you always wonder if you're doing it right. Parenting doesn't come with instructions. You're not told how to punish your children in every situation or what to do whenever they accomplish something. You're not completely prepared for it. However, for someone without instructions, you did a phenomenal job.

You raised the man of my dreams.

I've dated throughout my teens and every guy seemed to be the same, but with your son everything was different. Your son is everything I've ever wanted. He is perfect. He is such a gentleman. I want you to know everything you taught him like holding the door and paying for dates, it worked.

I want you to know he doesn't show anger towards me. I'm sure I aggravate him and make him angry, but I want you to know I'll never know when I've done so because he doesn't show it. He gets mad with football games and after he gets done yelling, he apologizes.

He makes me feel beautiful. He has seen me at my absolute worse. He has seen me right when I wake up in the morning with no makeup and my hair is a mess and he tells me I'm beautiful. Whenever so get dressed up, he notices. He makes sure to let me know I look beautiful. He pays attention to detail like that my hair is curled or I have a new nose ring in and he adds them in with the compliments.

He is always supportive. Whenever I started back to school, he was so proud of me. When I started writing for The Odyssey, he shared my articles. He will tell me how proud he is of me. When I make good grades on assignments, he tells me good job.

He is so loving. He comforts me whenever I'm sick. When I had the stomach bug, he got my medicine, trashcans, and played with my hair to comfort me. He brushes and straightens my hair for me whenever I don't feel like it because he wants it to look good.

Thanks to you I have found someone who treats me wonderful. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't know how to treat a lady. It is because of you that he turned out to be nice and respectful man he is today. I want you to know you did an amazing job raising him. He's everything I've ever wanted. Thank you for raising him to be such a gentleman. Thank you for raising him to be everything I've ever dreamed of.

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