I think the worst thing we do to ourselves is dwell on the past.
It’s not to say that we shouldn’t think about all the memories we made in the summer of ‘09. But more often than not, we tend to miss things, or people, that we shouldn’t be missing. And we let those feelings overcome us; we start over-thinking, even when we know it’s too late to change anything.
“Was I not good enough?”
“Was it worth it?”
“Do they miss me?”
“If only I did this, then that wouldn’t have happened.”
My response to these thoughts? There is nothing you can do about it now.
You go through it, and you grow from it. Whatever event or relationship that happened should only teach you what to do or what to watch out for the next time around. Things happen (and end!) for a reason. What you take from it will only help strengthen you, and also highlight what you really want in life.
As cheesy as it sounds, what is meant to be will be. If you spend your time thinking about how things could have gone differently, you’re wasting the time that could be spent on preparing for the new events and relationships ahead of you.
I know it can be hard to get over the past, especially if it has emotionally drained you and affected you in the most negative ways possible. Indeed, it does take time to get closure for your relationships. It takes time to be able to say you’re okay and mean it. Let that time be filled with healing, not hurt. Eliminate anything in your life that makes you miss what used to be, because reminding yourself of a past that can’t be (and shouldn’t be) repeated is not going to do anything for you.
So if you’re up late, listening to sad songs, looking at old pictures, and wondering what went wrong — go to sleep. There is really no point in dwelling on things that didn’t stay in your life up until this point. The things and people you have in your life right now should be the only things that matter.
They will help you grow.