As a single girl who goes on dates, I've experienced "negging."

And I'm sure many of you reading this have too. If you're not too sure what negging is, here is Urban Dictionary's definition: "Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances. This is something no decent guy would do. They say that the assholes get the girls, but I can spot negging a mile away and I reject these fuckers straight off."

For example, some negging that I've experienced included these phrases:

  • "You're a girl and want to work in sports?"
  • "I like your silver hair, but you looked better as a natural blonde."
  • "You used to wrestle as a girl? Were you good?"
  • "You definitely filled out your body more since high school."

These "compliments" do hurt. And when I was in an abusive relationship in high school, it's when I experienced the most negging.

Negging is a not-so-secret way of flirting to bring you down to their "level."

They do this so you think they're normally not into girls like you and you should spend time on them to get their attention. Sounds terrible, right?

This doesn't apply to only guys though, I'm sure there are women out there that neg just as much. And honestly, I'm sure I've done it too at some point... but we should all come to the conclusion that negging is not a good way to flirt.

So guys, coming from a girl, if you want her attention, simply just give her a good compliment.

Show you're better than a manipulative comment. And girls, next time you're getting negged, simply shut that guy out... and vise versa if it's the other way around.

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