Everybody's idea of love is different. Some people want a love that takes their breath away, that makes them feel lightheaded. Others want a love that's like being wrapped up in their favorite blanket or like basking in the sunshine- they want their love comfortable and carefree. Many of us know the love that is right for us. Sometimes, though, we have this ideal version of the type of love that we think we want, and that can hold us back from finding the love we truly need and crave.
I am no expert on love, and I will never claim to be. However, I consider myself pretty blessed to have a love that has proven true time and time again, that has lifted me up when I have been at my lowest, and that has grown and changed along with my boyfriend and myself. So, from my own experience, I have a few things to say to those that find themselves struggling to find a love worth keeping.
The most important thing to note about love is that everyone's love language is uniquely different to each relationship. Too often we compare our relationship to other couples', and all this does is lead to frustration, insecurity, and hurt feelings. Another person's relationship does not set the standard for how all relationships should be; just because one couple likes spontaneity does not mean you should feel insecure about enjoying your nights well-spent on the couch with your significant other. While we live in a culture that encourages competition, I believe that love should not be treated as a contest between couples. Focus on the happiness between you and your partner rather than worrying about what other's think of or how they view your relationship.
Another vital thing to realize is that love shouldn't take away your individuality. Your relationship, while it should be nurtured and given attention, should not leave you without any time for yourself. You are still your own person and a true love would not take that away from you. Instead of losing yourself and putting all of yourself into a relationship, a real love will help you grow into a better, happier you. A real love should make you feel confident in the person you are, inside and outside of the relationship.
Love is not perfect. I repeat, love is not perfect.
There will be arguments and hurt feelings, times you just need alone time, and moments when you and your significant other may just be a little out of sync. While a relationship should not be constantly filled with these downs, it's completely normal for love to have its fair share of low points. All love goes through some ups and downs, but what matters most is how you and your significant other react to those highs and lows. Make sure you always let the other know they are loved. Make sure you speak your truth even if it's hard to say. Don't just give up on a love because of a minor disagreement, and don't cling on to a love that disrespects and hurts you.
There isn't a time limit on love; you could have found the love of your life at sixteen or maybe you'll find them at sixty. Finding someone that makes you feel at home with just a brush of your fingertips can't be forced. Love takes patience and hope. You'll find your person one day. Until then, stop forcing things that just aren't meant to be.
Love will find you when its ready to.