I Was Sick Of The Dating Scene, So I Started Dating The One Person Who'll Always Be There: Myself

It's no secret that dating these days is next to impossible. There are so many rules and to-dos and not-to-dos and never-EVER-dos. You have to play the game without being a player and always be three steps ahead while simultaneously falling back, so the person you're into won't know that you're into them.

A headache is what it is.

After getting out of a long-term relationship and being thrown back into the "dating scene" (if you could even call it that), I was totally blindsided and quickly overwhelmed by how messy it was.

After many failed attempts at finding love that only ended in frustration and bewilderment, I decided it was time to do something. I decided I would date myself.

I know, it sounds ridiculous and a little confusing... OK, maybe a lot confusing.

And trust me, it felt even weirder. But I powered through, and I honestly grew so much from my time with myself.

I started out simple. I went to the mall to window shop and treat myself to some Chinese food. It wasn't super weird during the window shopping part because I've frequented malls on my own in the past. After about an hour, I decided to head to the food court. I fought the urge to scroll through my Instagram feed or call a friend because I would never do that on an actual date, and I had to get it into my head that that's what this was.

I got my food (bourbon chicken with the fried rice and green beans, for those of you that were wondering) and I located a vacant table. I sat down, painfully aware of how alone I was and started eating. Slowly, I stopped judging myself by every person's glance my way. It became less weird. And on the drive home, I actually thought to myself how enjoyable the time I spent alone was.

I was ready for things to get a little more serious.

For my next date, I took myself to one of my favorite places in the world: Spruce Street Harbor Park.

Now, at first, I was kind of nervous to do this. A young girl, alone in the city at night. But I swallowed my fears and realized that many people were alone in cities bigger than this all the time. So I paid the parking fare and ventured into my night.

It could not have been more perfect! The weather, the atmosphere, the sights and the food. My favorite place in the world became so much more special to me because for the first time, I wasn't distracted by anything else. I wasn't trying to keep up a witty banter or impress anyone.

Instead, I walked around and took everything in. I developed a new appreciation for not only the views but for myself.

While at first this little experiment of mine had seemed daunting and unsettling, I was now starting to look forward to my dates.

For my third date, I decided to take myself to the movies. This was probably the roughest situation for me. Everyone goes to the movies with someone, it's scientifically proven (I mean, not really, but it's a known fact). But I powered through.

I walked in and purchased my singular ticket, then proceeded to my seat. I got settled in with a Sprite (I had eaten before I came and I'm not really a fan of popcorn) and kicked back. I felt super self-conscious throughout the previews, as everyone else came in pairs or groups or families. I kept my eyes fixated on the screen, and (surprise, surprise) no one gave me a second look.

As the movie began, I got into it like I would any other time in the theater. By the time it was over, I had almost forgotten that I was alone. Even more than that, the word didn't seem to weigh me down anymore.

On my journey home that night, I reflected on what I had learned in the past week. I'd proved to myself how easy dating can be... when done the right way. I also learned that I don't need a relationship to be happy.

I am fully capable of loving myself in all the right ways.

In fact, it's something I want to continue and plan to make a weekly event of.

Dating doesn't have to be complicated, and being alone doesn't have to be so taboo.

There is power in being your own person, and there's even more power in loving that person the way you deserve.

Cover Image Credit:


Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Sorry Boys, But I Won’t Be That Girl Who Waits Around For You Anymore

Just because I know my worth doesn't mean I should have to wait around for you to realize it too.


I'm like most girls. I am such a hopeless romantic when it comes to dating and all that jazz. With that being said, I have also been the type of girl who has waited around for that guy once or twice (OK let's be real, one too many times).

I am a nice person and a lot of my friends know that I have a kind heart. You can do me dirty and I will forgive you. When it came to guys they could have led me on or ghosted me and later on came back out of nowhere and apologized, more than likely I would have given them a second chance at redemption.

I waited around for that guy to either realize how great we would be together or realize how great of a girl I was. All of my friends would tell me how great I was and how worthy I was but in the end, they weren't the ones I wanted to hear that from. Which was why I waited around and thought up of an excuse to defend the guy I was waiting around for.

The older I got the more I realized how silly I was for waiting around for a guy who probably did not appreciate me the way I should have been appreciated. I realized that I was much better than that and I made a promise that I would stop waiting around. Of course, I did slip up here and there (I mean, I am only human after all).

It wasn't until I was beyond over the male species that I realize how ridiculous I was being for crying over someone who stopped talking to me without rhyme or reason. That was the moment that I realized how worthy I was of a great relationship. A relationship that you see in movies or see in old couples who have been married for 65 years.

I decided I was no longer going to be THAT girl who waited around for a guy. I was no longer going to defend him when my friends asked me why I was still talking to him. I was no longer going to wait around for him to realize how worthy I was. Ever since I promised myself that I was going to live MY best life I have been beyond happy.

Yeah sometimes I say to myself "he was different" but then I remind myself that if he truly cared for me the way I cared for him then I would not have to wait around. He would not only pursue me but also my heart.

So ladies, realize your worth. Stop waiting around for that guy to come to the conclusion how amazing you are. You are a queen and if he can't see that right off the bat, he is NOT worth your time. Wear your crown with your head held high, live your best life, and slay the day away, queen.


OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

You’re Not Going To Meet Someone On Your Couch Watching Netflix, So Get Your Ass Up

Dating isn't easy, but getting off the couch shouldn't be too hard.


I don't mean to come off as harsh.

The words are directed at me just as much as they are anyone else. Dating isn't easy, especially when most of us have been out of practice. Even as an extroverted person, the idea of striking up a conversation with an attractive guy makes me anxious. If you are fine with being single then this article isn't for you but for the rest of us who want to change our stagnant relationship status, keep on reading.

Dating has changed drastically since our parents' days. In-person conversations have shifted to words on screens, while dinners and drive-in movie theaters have turned into "Netflix and chill." While some of us might be OK with these casual meetings, others want to be wooed. No matter what kind of relationship you're looking for, I can tell you that you aren't going to find it while laying on your couch. Starting something new is stressful and nerve-wracking, but you have to start somewhere. Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zones in order to put ourselves in a situation to meet someone new. Whether it's a house party, a nice night out with your girls, or maybe even an invite to study with a new group of friends, these all have the possibility of you putting yourself out there.

There is the potential to meet someone new anywhere: the library, the grocery store, or even in class. While it's important to put yourself out there, don't put so much pressure on everyone you meet. Some people are meant to just be friends, while others have the possibility to be so much more. If you try and it doesn't work out with one person, don't beat yourself up — maybe it wasn't meant to be, or the timing just wasn't right. All I'm trying to say is that you will never know what's out there if you don't get off the couch. I've had a lot of heartbreak in my life and sometimes I think that stops me from trying something new. It's hard to come to terms with that you might be what's stopping you from having a relationship with somebody. We need to remind ourselves that we deserve to be loved and be happy, and a healthy romantic relationship can give us that, we just have to be willing to try.

So strike up a conversation with the cute guy in your English class. Text the boy who you've always wondered "what if." Flirt with the guy who you make eye contact with across the bar. Or don't. The choice is yours. Sitting on the couch hasn't been working for you though, so you might as well try something new.

If you're truly content with being single, I'm happy for you. Keep watching Netflix on your couch, don't let me stop you. But for everyone else who wants to change their relationship status, pause the show, close the laptop or turn off the TV. Try something new, even though it's scary. I'm not saying a boyfriend will just fall into your lap, but it certainly doesn't hurt to try.

Someone could be out there waiting for you, all you have to do is get off the damn couch.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments