To The Girl Who Needs To Hear This, If He ACTUALLY Missed You, He Would Make Plans With You, Not Just Text You About It

To The Girl Who Needs To Hear This, If He ACTUALLY Missed You, He Would Make Plans With You, Not Just Text You About It

"I don't really miss you, but I'm just saying that to keep you on my back burner in case you seem really interesting later on when I'm lonely again."

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So you met this new guy.

But wait— he's not just any kind of guy.

This guy could really be the One.

You know how it goes. That awesome first date. The swoon-worthy goodnight kiss. The text messages that flood your inbox minutes after you two part, where he's just dying to figure out when you can meet up again.

"So, when can I see you again? Next weekend?"

"Damn, I miss you already."

And to say you're excited is an understatement. You're just dying to see him again, too.

A few days pass and you go on a second date with him.

You have so many expectations about how amazing this date will be, too.

But something just seems a little off.

He's not as talkative this time around. He's not asking you enough questions to hold the conversation. He's not making eye contact with you across the table and when it's time to part ways, he doesn't lean in for a kiss, or even a hug, or even bother walking you to your car.

Alert. Sirens go off in the distance.

You begin to worry that maybe you were a bit too crazy around him. The whole "What the f*ck is wrong with me?" realization that maybe, perhaps you scared him away.

But as you rewind the entire date inside your head on your drive back home, you start making assumptions about him.

You start making excuses for yourself, because you just want to believe that you were merely overreacting or simply delusional.

Maybe he had a bad day at work.

Maybe he's normally like that, but you were too nervous on the first date to actually see that side of him.

Maybe, maybe.

All these "maybes" are slowly destroying your brain cells one by one, not to mention they're borderline making you lose your mind over this guy because look, just a few days ago, he said he missed you, right?

Suddenly your phone lights up and it's a text from him.

"Miss you. Goodnight."

And you breathe a sigh of relief. Because, well, that "miss you" pretty much solidified his feelings towards you.

If he wasn't really that into you, he wouldn't say that, right?

Or so you thought.

Days pass by. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into a month.

But he still hasn't reached out to you about when you two should meet up again. And when you swallow your own pride by hinting at him about how much you miss him, he has a line of excuses lined up about why he can't come see you and potential reasons behind why you can't even drive your ass over to his neck of the woods to see his face.

He assures you, though, that he misses you.

Misses you so much.

Misses your beautiful smile and that pretty face.

Misses the way you made him feel.

Meanwhile you're clawing at your phone while screaming: "if you really miss me, then why aren't you doing something about it?"

In a world where communication revolves around text messages, Snapchats and DMs rather than in-person face-to-face conversations, many of the things we say to one another can become ambiguous. In other words, we don't exactly mean the literal meanings behind certain phrases.

For example, when we say LOL we aren't exactly laughing out loud in the middle of a dead quiet lecture hall, reading something your best friend just texted you.

When we say "Great, looking forward to it!" on an email to a colleague, we don't necessarily mean we're really looking forward to a new project. Deep inside—we're dreading the immense amount of work that's about to follow along with it.

In this case: the convenience of an "I miss you."

When someone tells you "I miss you," it can indirectly mean a lot of things. Of course, it can be 100% direct as the literal meaning of the emotional nostalgia of being around someone. But it can also mean something along the lines of: hey, I'm still putting in the effort to talk to you but I'm not going to go out of my way to have to see you in person.

Or worst case scenario: I don't really miss you, but I'm just saying that to keep you on my back burner in case you seem really interesting later on when I'm lonely again.

So here's the overall truth that you need to accept: he doesn't really miss you. Because, if he did, he would react to those feelings and do something about it.

Even if it takes him an hour and a half to drive through bumper-to-bumper traffic to come to see you, he would go out of his way to take you out.

Even if he has a million things going on at work, he would always make the time to see you and make you a top priority.

Name any excuse—and really ask yourself if he would really be giving that excuse in the first place if he really, truly, desperately wanted to see you.

Why do you deserve to be on someone's back burner when you can be worth so much more?

Why do you have to put up with all of his excuses?

Why do you need to feel delusional and overly attached towards a guy who can't even spare an hour to come be with you?

Come on—you mean so much more than that.

If he treats you like a joke, you should leave him like it's funny.

Remember that, the next time a boy dares to play this ruthless game with you.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Asked 11 Strong Independent College Girls Why They Plan On Staying Single Alllllll 2019

We don't all need a man to be happy.

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Listen. Not every college girl wants a ring by spring or really even cares about finding a man. With the popularity of going to college just to walk out with a Mrs. Degree, all the confident and single ladies tend to get overlooked.

Well, ladies, in case you haven't caught on to 2019's biggest dating trend, I'll share it with you—it's loving yourself and staying single. Here what these 11 strong, independent, college girls say about their plans to stay single alllll 2019.

1. Boys are dumb. Simple as that.

"The male species literally is incapable of using their brain at 20-years-old, I'm going to wait until 30s so maybe they will know how to use their common sense. Sorry boys." - Shelby, 20

2. I want to grow on my own.

"I want to focus on learning more about myself and challenging myself. Also, relationships are complicated so I'd rather spend that time worrying about or focusing on school." - Molly, 18

3. Self-love is the best love.

"I need to learn to love myself more than I have been the past two years. I just got out of a two-year relationship (which I am still severely heartbroken over) but I am actually excited to be living life for me." - Caitlin, 20

4. The time spent on focusing on gaining someone else's love will now be spent on finding love within myself.

"It's not that I plan on staying single, I'm just not going to actively put myself out there and fine tune myself. I have spent the past couple of years doing everything I could to find a guy, dating apps, blind dates, letting my friends run my dating apps, socializing a little extra and it just makes me so tired. I want to focus more on myself and what I like to do. Take myself out for a nice dinner and spend time with me. Not watching Netflix but actually getting to know who I am and love myself again, because how you can expect somebody to love you and know you if you don't even know or love yourself?" - Leah, 23

5. Time for some power moves, sister.

"I'm achieving my career dreams without any man holding me back or making me second guess myself or my decisions!" - Jenny, 21

6. Someone print this on a damn t-shirt or something.

"I'm trying to get A's, not Baes." - Holly, 20

7. Well, to put it simply...

"Men are trash." - Bobette, 22

8. Your potential should not be defined by a relationship.

"I've found there's more to life then having a boyfriend. Right now, I'm transitioning from being a college student to my career and I think the last thing I need is to worry about starting a relationship. I'm going to focus on loving myself this year." - Sarah, 21

9. So much time has already been wasted...

"I plan on staying single because boys have been too much of a waste of my time already." - Erin, 21

10. What's the move in 2019? Self love. That's the move in 2019.

"For myself, honestly. I just want to focus on me." - Lex, 19

11. I'm the best me when I'm single.

"I just function better when I'm by myself. There's no extra stress and no need to please or impress anyone." - Jordyn, 20

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11 Thoughts Single College Girls Experience On Valentine's Day

All the mixed emotions single girls feel on Valentine's Day

Dr King
Dr King
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Other than my junior year, any Valentine's Day that came across during my college years were filled with a wide range of emotions. Part of me was salty because I wanted the gifts and attention others were getting. Part of me was relieved that I didn't have to plan anything and could focus on classes the next day. Most of the time though Valentines Days were filled with anticipation for the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy.

I've always wondered how my personal mixed emotions seemed to line up with the general population and research shows that it's complicated for many. Although singles aren't necessarily devastated by it, our thoughts about Valentines Day depend on many situational factors.

And if you're a single college girl, you may be thinking these 11 things on Valentine's Day:

1. “I wish I had a boyfriend just for the day.”

This is what some girls are thinking if they’ve been single for a while and they don’t necessarily miss being in a long-term relationship, but they just want completely undivided attention for the day and a romantic candlelight dinner.

2. “I’m glad I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t need a man.”

This is what usually goes on through girl's heads if they're the independent type who don't place that much value on relationships. They might still scroll through Instagram out of pure nosiness, but if anything, they're probably thinking about how happy they are in the relationship they have with themselves.

3. “I wonder if he’ll send me a happy Valentine’s Day text...or maybe it’s too early for that.”

Valentines Day is already hyped up enough when you’re in a relationship and it’s to be expected that you probably won’t be doing anything romantic if you’re single on that day. But what about those who are in a situationship? Yes, it’s that awkward phase when an official title isn’t there, but that doesn’t mean Valentines Day can’t be brought up at all. Don’t you secretly hope that the person you’re involved with will at least send you a “Happy Valentines” text or stop by and give you a rose?

4. “Wait, they’re actually together?”

On Valentine's Day, the timeline on Instagram is similar to the Oprah Winfrey meme “You get a car! You get a car!" except it's with boyfriends instead. This girl has a boyfriend! *gasp* and this girl has a boyfriend too! *gasp*

5. “Wait...didn’t she just key his car and slash his tires after he hooked up with her best friend last week?”

This exact thought might be a tad bit of an overexaggeration, but it's still the most awkward thing when you see a picture of a couple looking as happy as can be, but deep down everyone knows that their relationship is nothing but drama behind closed doors.

6. “I’ll just hang out with my girl friends, eat pizza, and gossip.”

Girls who enjoy the company of their closest friends more than anyone else will most likely be thinking of hosting a Galentine's Day party rather than a Valentine's Day party. Besides, romantic love isn't the only love that exists.

7. “I’ll treat myself with chocolate.”

Let's be real. Valentine's Day is the perfect time to take a break from the diet and splurge on candy and chocolate.

8. “I’ll treat myself with wine.”

Other than candy and chocolate, wine would be the third option as a substitute for having someone special for Valentine’s Day.

9. “I can’t believe I got dumped.”

Believe it or not, the time of February is peak breakup time. A Facebook study showed that around the time of Valentine’s Day is usually when you’ll notice breakups start to happen in a more recurring manner.

10. “It’s literally no different than any other day.”

Then finally, there are the people who really don't give a damn about Valentine's Day at all because ultimately, it's just another day.

11. “Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't dick deprived.”

Sometimes Valentine's Day doesn't have people thinking about intimacy and romance. Sometimes it's just a reminder of the sexual drought you've been going through for a while.

Dr King
Dr King

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