To The Girl Who Needs To Hear This, If He ACTUALLY Missed You, He Would Make Plans With You, Not Just Text You About It

To The Girl Who Needs To Hear This, If He ACTUALLY Missed You, He Would Make Plans With You, Not Just Text You About It

"I don't really miss you, but I'm just saying that to keep you on my back burner in case you seem really interesting later on when I'm lonely again."

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So you met this new guy.

But wait— he's not just any kind of guy.

This guy could really be the One.

You know how it goes. That awesome first date. The swoon-worthy goodnight kiss. The text messages that flood your inbox minutes after you two part, where he's just dying to figure out when you can meet up again.

"So, when can I see you again? Next weekend?"

"Damn, I miss you already."

And to say you're excited is an understatement. You're just dying to see him again, too.

A few days pass and you go on a second date with him.

You have so many expectations about how amazing this date will be, too.

But something just seems a little off.

He's not as talkative this time around. He's not asking you enough questions to hold the conversation. He's not making eye contact with you across the table and when it's time to part ways, he doesn't lean in for a kiss, or even a hug, or even bother walking you to your car.

Alert. Sirens go off in the distance.

You begin to worry that maybe you were a bit too crazy around him. The whole "What the f*ck is wrong with me?" realization that maybe, perhaps you scared him away.

But as you rewind the entire date inside your head on your drive back home, you start making assumptions about him.

You start making excuses for yourself, because you just want to believe that you were merely overreacting or simply delusional.

Maybe he had a bad day at work.

Maybe he's normally like that, but you were too nervous on the first date to actually see that side of him.

Maybe, maybe.

All these "maybes" are slowly destroying your brain cells one by one, not to mention they're borderline making you lose your mind over this guy because look, just a few days ago, he said he missed you, right?

Suddenly your phone lights up and it's a text from him.

"Miss you. Goodnight."

And you breathe a sigh of relief. Because, well, that "miss you" pretty much solidified his feelings towards you.

If he wasn't really that into you, he wouldn't say that, right?

Or so you thought.

Days pass by. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into a month.

But he still hasn't reached out to you about when you two should meet up again. And when you swallow your own pride by hinting at him about how much you miss him, he has a line of excuses lined up about why he can't come see you and potential reasons behind why you can't even drive your ass over to his neck of the woods to see his face.

He assures you, though, that he misses you.

Misses you so much.

Misses your beautiful smile and that pretty face.

Misses the way you made him feel.

Meanwhile you're clawing at your phone while screaming: "if you really miss me, then why aren't you doing something about it?"

In a world where communication revolves around text messages, Snapchats and DMs rather than in-person face-to-face conversations, many of the things we say to one another can become ambiguous. In other words, we don't exactly mean the literal meanings behind certain phrases.

For example, when we say LOL we aren't exactly laughing out loud in the middle of a dead quiet lecture hall, reading something your best friend just texted you.

When we say "Great, looking forward to it!" on an email to a colleague, we don't necessarily mean we're really looking forward to a new project. Deep inside—we're dreading the immense amount of work that's about to follow along with it.

In this case: the convenience of an "I miss you."

When someone tells you "I miss you," it can indirectly mean a lot of things. Of course, it can be 100% direct as the literal meaning of the emotional nostalgia of being around someone. But it can also mean something along the lines of: hey, I'm still putting in the effort to talk to you but I'm not going to go out of my way to have to see you in person.

Or worst case scenario: I don't really miss you, but I'm just saying that to keep you on my back burner in case you seem really interesting later on when I'm lonely again.

So here's the overall truth that you need to accept: he doesn't really miss you. Because, if he did, he would react to those feelings and do something about it.

Even if it takes him an hour and a half to drive through bumper-to-bumper traffic to come to see you, he would go out of his way to take you out.

Even if he has a million things going on at work, he would always make the time to see you and make you a top priority.

Name any excuse—and really ask yourself if he would really be giving that excuse in the first place if he really, truly, desperately wanted to see you.

Why do you deserve to be on someone's back burner when you can be worth so much more?

Why do you have to put up with all of his excuses?

Why do you need to feel delusional and overly attached towards a guy who can't even spare an hour to come be with you?

Come on—you mean so much more than that.

If he treats you like a joke, you should leave him like it's funny.

Remember that, the next time a boy dares to play this ruthless game with you.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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Dedicate Your Summer To Bettering Yourself For Yourself, Not Your Ex

Why waste energy on an ex who doesn't care about you anymore?

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I'm single for the summer (yet again, no shock there) but this summer there's something in the air that just feels different. It's the feeling of true acceptance of my single status.

Last summer I was single when I really didn't want to be. My heart with still holding out for a guy who wasn't interested in anything more than my friendship. It took me from late March all the way until Halloween to get over those feelings. However, while working through those tough feelings that summer, I came to enjoy my time on my own and not talking to anyone except my best friends. I didn't have to worry about when I'd get a text back, or if I'd be left on read, or who he'd be out with since I wasn't around. The only thing I needed to worry about was my paychecks and tan lines.

Sometimes after breaking things off with someone who you put so much effort into, whether it was a boyfriend, an almost relationship, or even a friend with benefits, it's easy to want to show off on social media and make them regret ever hurting you or ending things. Why? It's a nice little ego boost, sure, but after those few seconds of glee from the fact that you know they've seen and maybe even liked your picture or your tweet, or saw your story on Snapchat, do you still feel happy? No, you go right back to feeling like crap, whether you want to admit it or not. Stop making yourself all about them when that ship has sailed and start being all about you.

Your ex is off doing their own thing, maybe thinking about you, but obviously not enough to want you back in their life the way you used to be. They are probably out there finding a new person to take your spot because they don't have you at their beck and call anymore. If they're also showing off to show you how much better they are without you or to make you jealous...why are you still following them or still participating in this sick little game for attention? Grow up and block them so you don't have to keep seeing their posts, or be adult enough to stop if you're doing the same as well. If it's only you posting, chances are you just look stupid, so stop before you really embarrass yourself. I was that person, and I know first hand how embarrassed I am for acting the way I did.

Summer is synonymous for doing whatever the hell you want. Wear what you want, say what you want, and be the best version of yourself that only a high dose of Vitamin D can bring out. Your ex is an ex for many reasons. You have to set aside the summer for you and what benefits you only. Don't concern yourself with an ex who doesn't care in the least about you anymore. Coming from someone who posted thirst traps aimed at a specific person along with countless shady AF stories on Snap and Insta in the hopes that this one person and their friends would see it, just stop and save yourself the energy as well as regret.

We're all adults, it's time to stop the petty posts and photos. Post your thirst trap for yourself because you're a sexy queen who doesn't need anyone but herself. Once you start focusing on yourself this summer, instead of your ex, you'll realize just have great it feels to truly be free.

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