If you're reading this, it probably isn't striking you that this is even about you and you probably won't ever get that this is about you because you were content to leave things unsaid. I don't bottle things up very well, so here is your article.

No, we didn't date. You and I were never technically together, so technically I don't even get to call you an ex. It's weird because for two solid years I was down for only you. I tried describing my dating situation to my friends when I started college and all I got was confused looks. I usually responded to these looks with, "Yeah, I know. Me too." You had no comittment to me other than when you needed your self esteem built up and I was totally comitted but too dumb to get the hint. So when we parted ways, you best believe that you hurt me in ways that nobody ever had before.

Before- a duration of time previous to an event.

That is when you came into my life.

Before I loved myself.

Before I knew my worth.

Before I became strong.

Before I was showed what "love" was and how wrong the image in my head was.

The girl I was before you was confident, beautiful in her own way, and happy. Granted, I was young, so not only had I really not been affected by the world around me, but I was so naive to see the good in absolutely everything.

The girl I became after you is a different story. I was broken, both mentally and physically. I was guarded, full of self-loahing and wondering why in the world I was enough for you to run to for validation but not enough to stay around. Especially because you knew that people leaving was a reocurring theme in my life. Basically, I was lost during one of the worst times in my life. I don't expect you to care, I actually really don't want you to because the past is where it needs to be. However, I do want you to know what lessons I learned because of you and want to thank you.

First off, I do need to thank you for being a constant in my life in one way or another. We started off as best friends and honestly throughout this whole thing I still count you as one of my best friends during my high school years. You were there for me to vent about the chaos I was living in, how my past affected me, and for a while, you did try and build me up. You knew a lot about me and when push came to shove I knew that if anything ever happened, I could count on you for something. I didn't really know what that something was, maybe just putting a good word in for my name, but it was something. We had many laughs and many fun memories during school and you were pretty cool. I'd like to think that if I needed something to this day you'd pull through and I am the same way to you. That part of me will never really stop.

I also want to thank you for forcing me to grow up and stand up for myself. For two long years, I watched from the sidelines as you created a relationship to spite me, rubbed it in my face in attempt to get a reaction out of me, then when things got bad start talking to me again, only to cut off communication because your pretty girlfriend didn't like me. Understandable. If I was her, I wouldn't like me either.

I felt so betrayed by all of this, but this cycle forced me to mature. It became painfully obvious I was only around for you to get reactions out of me. I guess I was some weird form of entertainment. So, I finally decided to give up, which the actual act of giving up didn't actually take into effect until life forced us apart and I found a man who believes the sun rises and sets on me and loves me in waysIi believed I didn't deserve, but when it did happen, it was the most freeing thing ever. You will always have a piece of me, and I guarantee its not the same way.

I think you have partly taught me my worth too. I was more than just your entertainment, you just failed to see it. It may not have been evident then, but now that I'm on my own living in the world, I've realized that I am worthy of love. I work my butt off to get places, I've somehow managed to have the sweetest soul on earth fall in love with me, and finally I am comfortable with who I am. I have overcome overwhelming odds and refuse to be a statistic that I've already had to expererience. I'm going places in life with incredible people. You were just a milemarker in my life and I'm thankful for that.

-The girl you never wanted