5 Things Domestic Violence Survivors Want You To Know
Start writing a post
Swoon

5 Things Every Domestic Violence Survivor Wants You To Know, But Might Not Want To Tell You

They are more than their past.

Amber LeBlanc
Oct 31, 2019
Grand Canyon University
71
5 Things Every Domestic Violence Survivor Wants You To Know, But Might Not Want To Tell You
Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Being a domestic violence survivor is a part of a person's past just as much as how they are raised. It is a part of them, but it does not define them. Here are a few things that a domestic violence survivor wants you to know but might not want to tell you:

1. The abuse was real.

Domestic violence survivors are often judged. They are judged for not leaving soon enough. They are judged for telling the truth. A person who has been in an abusive situation when they finally chose to tell the truth does not exaggerate. It is hard enough to tell the truth about what they went through, they do not want to add details. It is embarrassing to admit you were a victim.

2. The love was real.

A normal person falls in love and trusts that the person they love, loves them back. Putting our trust into one person is how we live our lives. It is hard to give up on a person that you have promised to love for the rest of your life, no matter how bad it may seem.

3. Leaving is much harder than it seems.

Threats of the physical and verbal kind are made to a woman to keep her in the house. It can range from physical attacks to having the children kept from her. Most often women in domestic violence situations have been isolated. They do not have anyone to turn to. There is nowhere for them to go.

4. They are aware of their mistakes.

The amount of times people bring up the fact that they made a mistake in the past is overwhelming. The mistakes of the past are in the past. There may be children, which are not a mistake. No matter how bad the past was, it was a part of their lives and it cannot be changed. When you tell someone the way they spent 5-10 years was a mistake it can alienate them.

5. Forgiveness does not mean they'll forget.

A person can forgive the abuser, but it does not mean they have forgotten. It doesn't mean they should accept them back into their life either. When a person says they have forgiven their ex, it is not about their ex. The act of forgiveness is about healing for yourself.

Each domestic violence survivor has their own story to tell. It is different for each person. The one thing each person has in common is they have survived and they have gotten out. They may not be ready to tell their story. They may still be healing, but in time they will get there. Until they do, remember they know where they have been and they don't want to look back.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

From Your Site Articles
domestic violence
Report this Content
Student Life

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

Siena College
16380
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
small towns
Relationships

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you.

University of New Haven
294188
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College
90544
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
waitlisted
Swoon

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

National Writers Society
152863
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
single life
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Marist College
62416
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments