We Have 3 Loves In Our Life, Each For A Different Reason

We Have 3 Loves In Our Life, Each For A Different Reason

It's been said that we fall in love with three different kinds of people in our lifetime, each for a different reason.
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After several unsuccessful relationships and strange decisions, you begin to see a trend in your choices and the kind of people you end up falling for. According to Kate Rose from Elephant Journal, it is said that you fall in love with three different people in your lifetime, and each kind of person you fall in love with is for a different reason in a different period of your life.

Our first love is said to happen while we are young.

For example, high school type young. You are young and don't know much about love, apart from what you've deciphered in the movies. You know that there are feelings, fights, and bedroom activities, but apart from that, you aren't really sure what love is all about.

This is the naive kind of love, the impractical, movie-esque type of love. It's what you think is right by the standards you know from movies and the standards you know from society. We begin this love with the belief that this will be our only love, and we begin planning a future in our minds around that notion.

And it doesn’t matter if in your heart it doesn’t feel quite right, or if you are planning a future you can't truly imagine yourself, because, in our make-believe minds, we see that this is what love is supposed to be like.

To us, with this kind of love, how others perceive us and what they see of the relationship is more important to us than how we actually feel about it. With this love, you will find yourself posting constantly about how much fun you are having with one another. You will post about eating mediocre dinner and watching a show as the most amazing time of your life. This is because you need others to view your relationship as magical and perfect.

Our second love is said to be our hard love.

It's the love that teaches us lessons about who we are, what we want from relationships and the kind of love we truly want.

Unfortunately, this love is not so much a happy one. This love hurts and brings you pain, oftentimes from the little untruths and other times through manipulation, usually the emotional kind. The second love is usually unbalanced and unhealthy and can be selfish and narcissistic. Due to these facts, there is almost always drama, and you become trained to think that it is your fault.

You feel guilty for always being around them, even though you know that this is what you need. Being continuously around them can still not give you what you want to feel, and you believe that you are not loved enough because they are not giving you the kind of love you are looking for. Yet, instead of giving up on the relationship, you hang on, thinking that one day suddenly everything will change and they will realize how desperately they love you.

This emotional swing of extreme highs and lows is exactly what keeps us addicted to this kind of unhealthy relationship. We push through the lows, no matter how bad they are, to get a slight tingling feeling from those wonderful highs.


With the second love, pushing to make it work becomes more imperative than whether it actually should.

Our third love is said to be the love we don't see coming.

This is the love that we never considered in the past. It's different and new, we've never dated this kind of person before. The third love is the kind that comes too easy, and it doesn’t seem possible. You think that it won't last, you are bound to stumble on something that will create a bump in the road. At times, it occurs right after a major heartbreak, and you're thinking that the same thing will happen again because, in your past, it has.

At first, you can't explain the connection. What is it about this person that draws you to them so much? Here, we meet someone and, surprisingly enough, it just fits. There is no difficult compromises, no pushing and shoving. You both seem to work out together, and somehow the way you live your life flows well with the way they live theirs.

And that's what makes your two lives come together into one. Your life together is exactly how you wanted love to be. The third love is easy, you both work hard to keep it going, to keep your relationship and your love as magnificent as it already is. And with both of you putting in the work, you don't feel like you are the only one pulling the carriage like you felt in your second love.

Sometimes it is 50/50, and other times it is 20/80. They love you enough to carry you on your bad days, and you love them enough to support them on their rough ones. You don't feel the need to constantly advertise your happiness. And, you know what? Sometimes, you're not happy. Sometimes, they are not happy. But that doesn't mean that it is the end of the relationship. You come together with your unhappiness and try to solve it. You sit together and you talk, yell, sing, draw, what have you, and you solve whatever problem comes around.

Because that's what love is, it's making things work because you love one another and want to be together.

This is the kind of love that reveals to us why everyone else left the picture.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

6 Reasons Sober Weddings Are Better Than Open Bar Receptions, For Anyone Keeping Tabs

Prepare for the party of the century.

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As anyone who has even thought about wedding planning knows, there is one question that plagues the future couple more than anything else—to open bar, or not to open bar?

Open bars are usually highly favored among guests but can leave the bride and groom with a huge financial burden. According to Cost Helper, an open bar tab can cost as much as $90 per guest, not including paying your bartenders and tipping. Yikes!

So, while it may disappoint some of my guests, no, I don't plan on having an open bar. And yes, my reception will still be the party of the decade.

SEE ALSO: If You Don't Have An Open Bar At Your Wedding, Don't Invite Me

1. I'll be saving all of that booze money for my honeymoon.

Instead of dropping literally hundreds of dollars on alcohol for my guests, I'll gladly be saving that money so that I can go to an even better all-inclusive resort with my new hubby. Maybe it's selfish, but a whole week of fun for myself is more important than one night of fun for my guests.

2. You only get one wedding, I don't intend on having drunk people ruin it.

Sure, someone getting a little too tipsy can make for a funny story years down the road, but who's not to say that someone gets way too drunk and ruins the whole day? Unfortunately, when other people drink their actions are out of your control and I would hate for one of my friends to get too drunk and really mess up my one and only big day.

3. Open bars do NOT equal a fun wedding.

Typically when I mention to people that I don't plan on having an open bar reception I get the comment "oh, so you don't want to have a fun wedding?"

Sure, an open bar can be fun, but you can just have much fun without an open bar as well. Trust me, the playlist will still be incredible and everyone is guaranteed to leave more than satisfied.

4. Everyone will be safe on their drive home.

I would never want to experience the guilt of having a loved one pass away the night of my wedding because they drank too much. Call me overly cautious, but not having an open bar is just one more way to make sure that everyone stays safe.

5. This is a wedding, not a club.

We all had our college days and early 20s to explore the party scene. And if that's still your thing when I'm getting married, awesome, but save it for the next weekend. This is a wedding that my entire family will be attending and I'd rather it not turn into an episode of "Jersey Shore."

6. Everyone will be guaranteed to remember my wedding day.

I'm not planning for months, paying thousands of dollars, and buying the most important dress of my life for people not to remember it! Sorry, not sorry.

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Sorry, But If You Propose On My Wedding Day, You're Getting Cut Off

There are 365 days in the year and you had to pick THAT one?

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I know this may sound ridiculous to some people, but I've wanted to get married since I was a little kid. I loved everything that it represented. Although I could never fully picture or dream up what my wedding would specifically look like (besides various Pinterest board ideas), I wanted that lifetime love and commitment more than anything.

It goes without saying that all of my closest friends know how important marriage is for me. Knowing my perspective on marriage is a key aspect of understanding who I am as a person. I've changed in a number of ways over the years, but that one quality has been unyielding.

Recently, I've seen countless videos on Instagram and Twitter of people proposing on someone else's wedding day. And every time I see them, I think the same thing.

There are 365 days in the year and you had to pick THAT one?

Kudos to the brides and grooms who were nice enough to allow that, but that kind of thing is not going to fly at my wedding.

All of the love and attention from friends and family should be directed towards the happy couple.

If you decide to propose on my wedding day, you: 1) never paid attention during the deep and personal conversations that we had, 2) don't know me well enough to know why it would hurt me so much, or 3) are just plain selfish. Regardless of the reason, it's an unforgivable offense.

Yes, the simple act of a proposal would ruin my wedding.

I'm only going to get married once. I only get one day for that. A day that I've been anticipating for over a decade and a half. A day that I'm going to spend thousands of dollars planning. A day that I've been hoping and praying would be perfect because I'm going to remember it for the rest of my life.

That's a pretty big deal, right?

I know that there could be meaning behind a proposal on a wedding day. The whole "wedding process" started with an engagement. The wedding is the grand finale. So by proposing on someone's wedding day, you're kind of rekindling the wedding process again. A circle of life — circle of love, so to speak.

But I don't think that's cute, ESPECIALLY if it goes against a bride's wishes. I would even call that tacky and thoughtless.

To put it simply, receiving a wedding invitation should feel like an honor. The bride and groom are allowing you to come to their ceremony. And by RSVPing, you're acknowledging that you'll show your full support and be on your best behavior.

So please show me enough respect to wait at least a day before getting on one knee.

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