We Have 3 Loves In Our Life, Each For A Different Reason

We Have 3 Loves In Our Life, Each For A Different Reason

It's been said that we fall in love with three different kinds of people in our lifetime, each for a different reason.
307036
views

After several unsuccessful relationships and strange decisions, you begin to see a trend in your choices and the kind of people you end up falling for. According to Kate Rose from Elephant Journal, it is said that you fall in love with three different people in your lifetime, and each kind of person you fall in love with is for a different reason in a different period of your life.

Our first love is said to happen while we are young.

For example, high school type young. You are young and don't know much about love, apart from what you've deciphered in the movies. You know that there are feelings, fights, and bedroom activities, but apart from that, you aren't really sure what love is all about.

This is the naive kind of love, the impractical, movie-esque type of love. It's what you think is right by the standards you know from movies and the standards you know from society. We begin this love with the belief that this will be our only love, and we begin planning a future in our minds around that notion.

And it doesn’t matter if in your heart it doesn’t feel quite right, or if you are planning a future you can't truly imagine yourself, because, in our make-believe minds, we see that this is what love is supposed to be like.

To us, with this kind of love, how others perceive us and what they see of the relationship is more important to us than how we actually feel about it. With this love, you will find yourself posting constantly about how much fun you are having with one another. You will post about eating mediocre dinner and watching a show as the most amazing time of your life. This is because you need others to view your relationship as magical and perfect.

Our second love is said to be our hard love.

It's the love that teaches us lessons about who we are, what we want from relationships and the kind of love we truly want.

Unfortunately, this love is not so much a happy one. This love hurts and brings you pain, oftentimes from the little untruths and other times through manipulation, usually the emotional kind. The second love is usually unbalanced and unhealthy and can be selfish and narcissistic. Due to these facts, there is almost always drama, and you become trained to think that it is your fault.

You feel guilty for always being around them, even though you know that this is what you need. Being continuously around them can still not give you what you want to feel, and you believe that you are not loved enough because they are not giving you the kind of love you are looking for. Yet, instead of giving up on the relationship, you hang on, thinking that one day suddenly everything will change and they will realize how desperately they love you.

This emotional swing of extreme highs and lows is exactly what keeps us addicted to this kind of unhealthy relationship. We push through the lows, no matter how bad they are, to get a slight tingling feeling from those wonderful highs.


With the second love, pushing to make it work becomes more imperative than whether it actually should.

Our third love is said to be the love we don't see coming.

This is the love that we never considered in the past. It's different and new, we've never dated this kind of person before. The third love is the kind that comes too easy, and it doesn’t seem possible. You think that it won't last, you are bound to stumble on something that will create a bump in the road. At times, it occurs right after a major heartbreak, and you're thinking that the same thing will happen again because, in your past, it has.

At first, you can't explain the connection. What is it about this person that draws you to them so much? Here, we meet someone and, surprisingly enough, it just fits. There is no difficult compromises, no pushing and shoving. You both seem to work out together, and somehow the way you live your life flows well with the way they live theirs.

And that's what makes your two lives come together into one. Your life together is exactly how you wanted love to be. The third love is easy, you both work hard to keep it going, to keep your relationship and your love as magnificent as it already is. And with both of you putting in the work, you don't feel like you are the only one pulling the carriage like you felt in your second love.

Sometimes it is 50/50, and other times it is 20/80. They love you enough to carry you on your bad days, and you love them enough to support them on their rough ones. You don't feel the need to constantly advertise your happiness. And, you know what? Sometimes, you're not happy. Sometimes, they are not happy. But that doesn't mean that it is the end of the relationship. You come together with your unhappiness and try to solve it. You sit together and you talk, yell, sing, draw, what have you, and you solve whatever problem comes around.

Because that's what love is, it's making things work because you love one another and want to be together.

This is the kind of love that reveals to us why everyone else left the picture.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Married My High School Sweetheart, And In Hindsight, It Really Was The Best Decision

From graduation gown to wedding bands.

aasweeney
aasweeney
125
views

I married my high school sweetheart when I was nineteen, going on twenty.

We had been out of high school for a year. And you probably think that's crazy, or as most people believe, we were too young to get married. While most of my friends from high school were getting alcohol poisoning from doing kegstands at a college frat party or picking out dorm room furniture, I was a newlywed. Everyone goes their different ways after high school, and so did I, mine was just different than most. I had decided to marry the guy who stole my heart throughout my last years of high school.

I met my husband when I was sixteen working my first job.

We went to homecoming, football games, and prom together. We walked across the same stage, the same day on graduation. And instead of going into adulthood alone, I got to give it a go with my best friend.

Many of my friends and family didn't understand us getting married so early.

They thought we were crazy, and maybe we were, but we had found something many people spend so much time looking for, and that was true love, as corny as it sounds. But as many people my age spend this time searching for someone to spend their life with, we had already achieved that part of our lives, and now planning a future together.

We've heard it all, the whole "you'll regret getting married young" speech, that I'm too young to know what love is or that I didn't give myself enough time outside of high school to meet other people. I'm a firm believer that if something or someone makes you happy, you seize that feeling. And I had found someone incredibly special who made me feel just as special.

Don't get me wrong, we've struggled, especially with a husband being active duty military.

You don't get married at twenty and not struggle learning the ways of becoming an adult. But every problem we have faced, we faced together as a team. We have got to witness each other do amazing things so far in life like promotions at jobs or ace projects in college, as well as watching each other grow as individuals and as a couple. As a young couple, we still chase our own dreams, we just support one another along the way.

I am now twenty-three, and I have been married to my best friend for three years.

We have a beautiful daughter who is eighteen months old. We are achieving so much more than we could imagine for ourselves and there is no one else I would rather be doing it with.

With high school in the past, and being married with our own little family forming, I don't regret one thing. If anything I wish I was still as gutsy as teenage me. It's been worth every up and down along our journey and I can't wait to see what the next fifty years hold.

aasweeney
aasweeney

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

If I Get Married, I Don't Need An Offical Wedding

You can't run from the altar if you weren't at one to begin with.

307
views

Last week, my mom got remarried. I'm super happy for her, and I know she's with a great guy, and all of my friends that knew were so excited. The one question I got asked the most was: when's the wedding? To which I responded: I have no clue. My mom has already had one wedding, and for her, that was more than enough. So, they went and got the documents signed (or whatever needs to be done) at the courthouse when they went on a super cool vacation to California, instead of paying for some big ceremony and/or a reception.

Honestly, I kind of see the appeal of it. As I've gotten older, I've definitely become less feminine, and if you don't see me wearing pants, I'm either at a swim meet or had to dress nicely for a banquet or presentation. Therefore, down the road, if I ever decide to get married, I don't think I'd want any sort of wedding.

My first issue would be the dress, of course. People on shows such as Say Yes to the Dress are willing to spend thousands of dollars for a dress that they wear for one day of their lives. Personally, I'd rather spend that kind of money going on a really dope vacation, or putting it towards saving up for a house, car, or some other expensive purchase.

Next issue: wedding receptions. I've only been to a couple weddings before, but it seems like it would be so stressful to try and plan how many of your close family and friends would be allowed to come to watch you get married, and then pay for a massive party to celebrate it. I know I would want a small group of people but at the same time I know I'd want as many of my friends there as possible. Why deal with the stress of seating arrangements and picking meals and deciding whether or not to have an open bar when you can just avoid the problem altogether?

Last major issue: I'm not really religious. None of my immediate family has ever been the type to go to church or be super involved in any specific religion, and so I've grown up not really having a church I attend, or any particular desire to start going to church. Since most weddings are in churches, I don't think I'd ever really feel right to have an important ceremony like that in a place that doesn't really have any significance to me when I could just go to a courthouse and save the time.

That being said if whoever I did decide to marry wanted a more official ceremony or to do it in a church, I would be open to reconsidering. Marriage and relationships and general work based on compromise, and I would like to believe I'd be willing to do some of these things if it truly made my significant other happier.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments