10 Signs You're Ready To Date Again After A Breakup

10 Signs You're Ready To Date Again After A Breakup

Life's too short to be hung up on an ex.


How can you be sure that you're ready to date again after a bad breakup with the person you thought you'd be with forever?

You and your ex probably agreed that it is best to just be friends and unfollowed each other on all of your social media and now after your heart has begun to heal, you're ready to get back out on the dating scene. It is difficult to know when you're completely ready to date again but hopefully, these ten tips will guide you in the right direction to going out. If you can check off quite a few of them, take that as a good sign and put yourself out there, but if you can't, give your heart a little bit more time to heal. And remember, don't worry your time will come when you're completely ready.

1. You've stopped crying for no reason.

Breakups can leave us feeling all sorts of way. If you can make it through the day without crying for absolutely no reason, it's probably a good sign your heartbreak is passing.

2. You're not interested in a rebound anymore.

When you've gotten over your urge to have a casual hookup and you're ready for meaningful dates again, it's a good time to start looking for a new relationship.

3. You also don't hate everyone anymore.

When you're hurting after a breakup, the urge to never date again and ignore everyone else in your life. The time will come that you're missing your friends' company and that usually is a good sign.

4. Songs are just songs.

In a relationship, we like to link songs to memories and hearing these songs post-breakup and bring out the waterworks. When you no longer get in the feels after a hearing a song, take this as a nod in the right direction.

5. You are happy by yourself.

So many times after a breakup people feel empty and sad. As time passes and you begin to rebuild who you are and what your life is, you'll come to realize that you're ready to find someone that compliments your goals.

6. You don't think of your ex every second of the day anymore.

Once you've reached the point of no longer agonizing over what your ex is doing, you'll finally be able to see the world as a bright happy place again. This is a good sign for you that you'll be able to start seeing new people for all of the greatness that they are.

7. You've reclaimed who you are.

Before you can jump back into dating, you have to take some time for yourself to rebuild your heart for the next person. That kind of recovery doesn't just happen, but when it does, take it as a sign that you're ready to date again.

8. You're emotionally available.

Your emotional availability is dependent on you recovering from the heartbreak and you being mentally prepared to love again. When you decide that you can give your whole self to someone else, take that leap. If you're not ready yet don't worry, it'll happen.

9. You've started reminiscing less.

If you can finally listen to that song, drive past that restaurant, or wear that outfit again it is definitely a step in the right direction.

10. When you're ready, you'll know it. 

Simply put, you really will know when you're ready to date again. Listen and trust yourself. Take your time and be patient, the heartbreak will pass and you'll be back out there before you know it.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're On The Fence With A Guy

Is he worth it?


Whether you're contemplating if you want to continue your fling with a guy or contemplating breaking up with your boyfriend, there are always questions we're asking ourselves. Ranging from "is this right of me?" to "is this what will make me happy?" But if you are really sitting on the fence and don't know what to do next, check out these five questions you need to ask yourself if you're torn on what to do.

1. Do I want long term or short term?

This is a huge question to ask. If you're looking to settle down for a while, your guy may not want that. And it could always be the other way around as well. Make sure to decipher this with him so you both know what you want and no one gets a broken heart.

2. Can I see myself marrying this person?

I know this is a bold question to ask, especially if you're not dating. But really thinking about if you can see yourself with them for a long time can make it or break it. But say you're dating and you're on the fence of deciding you want to break up with them or not, think about if you can see yourself saying "I do" to them, and if you can't, let him go.

3. Can I see myself living with them/how do they live?

I've seen many people get engaged and move in together and later call it quits due to the way their partner lived. If you've been getting to know your guy for a while now and notices he lives like a pig, you may have to wonder if you'd be cleaning up those messes in the future.

4. How do they make me feel?

This question in a no brainer. If they make you feel bad, why even question continuing into the relationship.

5. Are they worth it?

Is he worth it? I know I have had some experiences when I was on the fence with a couple of guys and I've had to ask myself the same question. And when I'd question if he was worth it or not, my gut feeling always came out right. If you're looking to keep him around, always ask yourself if he's worth it.

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Girls, You NEED To Understand That Fuckboy Texting You ‘wyd’ 24/7 Will Never Give You A 24 Karat Ring

I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you his wife.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

There are five unofficial steps of hookup culture: Find a guy. Get to know him a little bit, but not too much (because you have to keep "boundaries," remember?) Make a pact to keep things "casual" and promise to still be "friends" with each other. Then, hookup with him. And keep hooking up with him without any emotional attachment — just over and over again and never expect anything more.

From a birds eye view, hookup culture seems so harmless. I mean, what's more convenient than having a booty call at your doorstep with the swipe of a screen? When you want to hook up, all you have to do is shoot that 2 a.m. "U Up?" text.

Hell, I even wrote a whole article about the perfect FWB situation.

Yet suddenly—here I am, Elle Hong, resident "Uncuffed" writer on Swoon and self proclaimed fuckgirl who glorifies hookup culture above anything else, catching feelings and falling for the wrong guys just like any other girl out in the world.

Consider this blasphemy. Or maybe I'm just dying to make a confession.

A confession that I, too, have experienced the feeling of wondering why I was never enough for the guys I hooked up with. Why they never chose me over the girls they would eventually form serious relationships with and why to them I only was nothing more than a casual hookup.

So, I thought about it. I critically analyzed it. I "Aristotle-d" my way into trying to find an answer behind the impossible question of wondering why I was never considered to be anything more. Over the past few weeks, it essentially became my new research topic and now, I finally managed to crack the code as to why your casual hookup will never try to make you into wifey material. Here's why.

First and foremost: Guys usually (but not always) choose to hookup with girls who they don't see as anything more.

Now, keep in mind I'm not saying that guys will NEVER fall in love with the girls they hookup with because it can happen. It's life. Life is unpredictable. No doubt, people have fallen in love on Tinder and married a random match who just happened to become The One. But we all know what Tinder is really for. Generally speaking, guys will seek random hookups with the types of girls they think are "easy" and if they're desperate enough, it's definitely not going to be someone they view as their future wife.

If he thinks you're cute, you're within 10 miles radius and you can hold a conversation, it doesn't matter what your annual salary is or how many siblings you got—he wants one thing and it's to get you in bed. And until a guys find this girl who captures his heart and inevitably makes him want to settle, he's going to go around hooking up with random girls left and right. So in this case, it's not your fault. You're just with the wrong type of guy who only thinks of you as his sexual conquest.

See also: Guys want to settle with girls that don't go around hooking up with other people.

Ironic as hell because I just talked about why guys would never want to settle, period. But think about it—guys are humans with rational thoughts and animalistic desires. When they find their territory, they mark it. Once he finds a girl who is the one, he never wants to let her go. And he never wants to see that girl be with another guy or god forbid, go around hooking up with other guys. So here's the moral of the story to get my point across: I hate to break it to you, but bragging about how many other guys you're f*cking outside of your current FWB situationship isn't going to help develop the relationship any further.

Finally: A girl's "hoe phase" might seem empowering but for guys they see it as a threat.

Thanks to the wonderful millennial encyclopedia that we call Urban Dictionary, we have a definition behind this certain life style: A phase in life which occurs when a girl goes around social settings exploring herself, committing promiscuous acts and connecting with random people. For girls, it seems pretty damn empowering, doesn't it? For us it's a chance to let loose, to live a lil bit more and to run around as independent women. Nothing wrong with that of course.

But for guys to perceive this type of lifestyle, they see it as a threat which could arise if they form a relationship with you. It's simple logic here. A girl who's in her "hoe phase" is more likely to be unfaithful since they're always out and about with this person and that person. Put it this way: a guy doesn't care if you're a hoe—but he only wants you to be HIS hoe and not everyone else's. So you might think that it's a great way to express yourself and to enjoy your college years, but keep in mind that it could possibly be holding you back from taking the next step with your casual FWB.

Elle Hong
Elle Hong

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