Relationships ending are hard. Everyone knows this. And whether it was a long-term relationship, just a couple months, or even if you guys never even actually got to the dating stage (trust me, this one sucks too), it hurts and can leave unanswered questions, lingering feelings and unresolved conflicts.
This is where rebounding comes in: becoming involved physically and/or romantically with other people to help you move on from the last one. And, if done correctly, it isn't a bad thing like a lot of people make it out to be. There are many instances where it's perfectly healthy to rebound, as long as the person in question is also on board with this more no-strings-attached type of relationship.
However, what I've learned recently is, even though getting involved with other people might help keep your mind off of someone, it's not 100% foolproof. I used to be the girl who just needed a new guy in my life, whether I actually dated him or not, to get my mind off of the last one. So, of course, I thought that this was all I needed now: a new relationship, a new guy, to catch feelings for. Naturally, I took to Tinder, since that was the easiest route, with hundreds of new people to choose from at the tip of your fingertips.
I've gone on dates and met some new people, but after months, my ex (if I could even call him that), sadly to say, still isn't out of mind. I've been going crazy trying to figure out why he's still circling around in my head after all this time, especially with new people in my life. What sucks, even more, is when you have friends through the same thing, with more recent breakups, especially when they ask how long their hurt is going to last when you're still not over your own recent relationship ending. The answer to this question, however, came to me the other night while I was lying in bed, restless: it takes a real connection with someone new to help yourself truly move on from someone else, and it also takes time.
And even though I feel like I've definitely had quite enough of the latter, I've come to realize that there's no set time frame for getting over someone. Swiping through Tinder and meeting up with guys I'm not even half as interested in just isn't going to help if I haven't given my heart the time it needs to heal and move on.
So, to everyone else trying their best to move on from someone...be patient. I know it sucks, especially when it's been months and their face still pops into your head seemingly all the time, and seeing them show up on social media still makes your heart race. But we're going to make it through this. We're going to move on, we're going to meet someone new, and we'll be okay. As for now, put the phone down — because Tinder probably isn't going to solve this heartbreak, and that's okay, too.