10 Tips For Surviving A Cross-Country Drive With Your Significant Other

10 Tips For Surviving A Cross-Country Drive With Your Significant Other

Pro tip: don't drink Red Bull if you've never had it before and expect things to go well.

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Driving across the whole country with your significant other can be difficult, but it can also be the best time. Here's a couple of tips to plan your adventure to ensure both of you survive and thrive.

1. Plan your stops ahead of time

This is integral to the trip itself, figuring out where you each want to stop. For long road trips, you have a lot of opportunities to stop and sightsee. Others may just want to get the drive done as quickly as possible. Get in tune with your significant other to see what they want to do stop wise and try to find a happy medium between what you both want.

2. Pack snacks, both healthy and unhealthy

It's important to pack healthy snacks like dried fruit and protein bars, but don't forget a few guilty-pleasure snacks! After eight hours of driving straight through the flattest state you've ever seen, it's nice to get something sweet or salty into your system.

3. Understand that you’ll learn a lot more about each other’s bathroom habits than you wanted to

You'll definitely find out very fast about your pal's bathroom habits. How often they need to stop while driving can be an indicator of a really small bladder or an inability to control how much water they drink, but whatever it is, they'll probably tell you all about it.

If you haven't reached the stage of your relationship where you can freely discuss your poop yet, you're about to.

4. Pick out podcasts and playlists to listen to before you start driving

We learned this the hard way. Unfortunately, we could never decide exactly what we wanted to listen to until we were already driving, and then it was deciding between podcasts or music. When you can finally narrow it down, it's still hard to find the right song or podcast you want to listen to. Do yourself a favor, pick them ahead and adjust when necessary.

5. Don’t backseat drive your significant other, no matter how much you may want to

DON'T. DO. IT. It's so not worth it to nitpick how your significant other drives, unless its dangerous or they're getting too tired and you need to switch. Let them do their thing when they drive, do your own thing when you drive, and try not to hurt each other when you make each other crazy.

6. Be an attentive copilot and navigate when necessary

Driving through states you've never been to can be ridiculously complicated, especially when it gets dark or when it rains. Pay attention to the map or GPS so your partner doesn't have to, and give them ample time to make turns. (Don't tell them after the turn has passed, they won't appreciate it.) Be a good Goose to their Maverick and keep them in line.

7. Take time to stretch your legs when you stop

You're gonna get all cramped up sitting in the car for hours, but when you've gotta drive... you just gotta drive. Take the opportunity when you do stop to use the restroom or get gas or food, and walk around! Do some toe touches. Shake your legs and arms out and get the blood flowing. You'll feel better if you do.

8. Realize humans get upset and angry when they’re tired and hungry, so don’t take it out on each other

Humans also get ridiculous when they drink too much red bull and have a combined sugar/caffeine crash two hours from their destination. Sometimes you just have to turn music on and let them ride it out while they get over their grumpiness.

9. Be comfortable with the long stretches of silence

If you spend a ridiculous amount of time with someone in a car, you're gonna run out of things to talk about every now and then. That's just a given. You'll have to get used to it and be comfortable with not filling every quiet moment with talking. Find a good podcast, let your copilot rest every now and then, and get comfy with the quiet.

10. And finally, enjoy every minute of it because sometimes being stuck in a car with your SO for hours on end can be the best time

Take every chance you can to enjoy this trip because you'll have the opportunity to make some great memories between the two of you. Every random stop you make is an opportunity to have a new experience somewhere you've never been before. Even just sitting in a car driving through the worst hailstorm of your life can become an interesting memory you both share, once you're not worried the hail is gonna kill you through a window. Just remember to enjoy every minute, because you have no idea what will happen next.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

6 Things You Learn Living With Your Boyfriend For The First Time, All Within, Like, 500 Square Feet

Love is patient, love is kind.

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Last summer, my boyfriend and I were at a crossroads in our relationship.

At the time, we had been together for over a year and a half, and I had just made the decision to move seven hours away to Los Angeles to finish school. Realizing we didn't want to spend the next two years apart from each other, we made the huge decision to move in together in the new city.

While living with my partner has had its ups and downs, I've learned a lot about our relationship. Here are six of the biggest lessons I've learned while living with my boyfriend for the first time.

1. There is such a thing as too much time together.

Most of the time we can't get enough of each other, but there are times when we definitely need some alone time. Spending all hours of the day cuddling on the couch can feel super good sometimes, but in order to keep our relationship healthy, we have realized that it is important to have outside interests, hobbies, responsibilities, and friends. This just makes it so much sweeter to come back home to each other at the end of the day.

2. Our relationship won't always be "50-50."

In an ideal world, we would split all of our mutual responsibilities equally. However, the real world is messy, and sometimes one of us needs to pull more weight than the other. When I'm sick, my boyfriend has no problem doing the laundry and dishes and then lavishing me with back rubs in bed. And when he's working long hours or having a hard day, I will do the same for him. In the end, we both care and love for each other equally, and that's all that matters.

3. We have different ideas about cleanliness.

I'll admit, I'm a bit of a neat freak. My boyfriend is by no means a dirty person, but little things like leaving shoes and clothes lying around bother me a little more than they should. Part of living together has been learning to accept one another's natural tendencies, being patient, and compromising. While my boyfriend still has a tendency to leave things scattered about, he has learned to be more conscientious, and I have learned to relax (a little).

4. Having different schedules can be challenging.

While my days tend to begin pretty early in the mornings, my boyfriend works night shifts, so it can be difficult to schedule mutual activities together, particularly SLEEP. However, the longer we've been together, the better we've been able to accept these differences and work around them. I'm okay with the few hours cuddling in bed together each night, especially because I know this is only temporary.

5. Living together is surprisingly easy.

One of the best things I have found from living with my significant other is that it is actually REALLY EASY. Sometimes I'll hear those nightmare stories about couples who move in together, only to find out that their lifestyles aren't compatible at all. I've been really lucky to find someone who lives so harmoniously with me. For the most part, my boyfriend and I work perfectly together, and that's one of the ways I know he's a keeper.

6. Our relationship is only growing stronger.

Honestly, my boyfriend and I might as well be married already, because the more we learn about one another, the closer we become. I love living with my boyfriend, I love being with him, and I have a feeling that we'll be together forever. Cohabitation is a beautiful thing, and it's one of the most important ways to figure out or wants and needs in a relationship. I just feel lucky I've found my number one.

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If He Says 'You Make Me Want To Be A Better Person,' Remember It's NOT A Compliment

No one should be relying on another person to make them better people.

bethkrat
bethkrat
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A lot of us have been there; he smiles at you sweetly, gives you a look that could melt your heart, and you let yourself fall into the kindness.

He tells you, "you're such a good person; you make me want to be better."

Your heart is a flutter, you're drowning in the sickly sweetness of what you take as one of the nicest things someone has ever told you. It's so easy to read it as though it's an admirable thing for anyone to say, but the reality is, no one should be held liable for making you want to be a decent human being except yourself.

It's one thing for people to bring out the best in each other.

When you find your happy place in the company of the people you love most in life, that's one of the greatest things in the world. That example of the "bettering" of one another comes organically. But to only find a desire to be kinder, more selfless, more decent because another person is kind, selfless, and decent is putting way too much liability on the other person, and it means not taking responsibility for yourself.

By telling me that I'm the reason he wants to be a better person, he's putting me on a pedestal that I cannot possibly live up to all the time.

He's holding me liable for his desire to stop his negative behaviors rather than it coming from a true desire to be better. If being with me or around me is the only reason he's decided he needs to get his act together and start being a decent human being, I'm here to tell him that he should really reevaluate.

Because what happens when we break up?

What happens if we have a falling out for some reason or another, and I'm not longer in his life to "inspire" him to be better? His desire to be better disappears alongside me, because his desire never really came from his heart anyway. He go back to the same negative behavior that he had in the first place unless he came come to the realization that being a good person has to come from a real desire within.

I don't have the time to pander to people who can't take responsibility for their actions.

It shouldn't have to be my job to show anyone what being a decent human being looks like. His parents should have instilled that in him when they were raising him, and if not that, he should have been able to recognize elsewhere what kindness and decency looked like in other people so that he could emulate it himself. If he's a grown adult who says he didn't recognize what being good meant until he met you, that says more about him than it does about you.

The point of all of this is simple; it is an extremely important life lesson to learn that you are not responsible for anyone's actions and feelings except for your own.

You are not accountable for the decisions someone else makes, and that's the truth. No one is dating someone with the intent on raising him and teaching him how to behave or exist as a functionally member of society, and no one should have to.

I'm not saying it's a red flag to hear it. Often times it is said with good intentions and sometimes it is meant in the organic sort of way I mentioned before. But my advice if you're ever told this; think about it. Consider it a pink flag, one that makes you do some evaluating before you smile bigly and accept the comment as though it is a badge of honor.

Above all, hold people responsible for their own actions and don't let them make you feel responsible instead.

bethkrat
bethkrat

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