Just recently, I came out of an extremely abusive and toxic relationship. There was a pattern in my love life of me getting myself in and out of toxic relationships repeatedly. I desperately tried to find something to blame this dreaded pattern on...I blamed myself, I blamed the environment I was in, I even blamed this generation's version of "dating," but there was only one thing that took the blame for all of my failed attempts at love and that was timing.
Trust me, I know you've heard it a million times, and I know you're probably rolling your eyes — if I was back in your position I know I would be to. But, what they say about timing is true, unfortunately. Coming out of my last relationship, I was ready to give up on the idea of love, on the idea of being genuinely happy with someone. But right when that last bit of hope was almost gone, it began again, love. This time was different, I knew it from the start, no one has ever made me feel the way that I do now. I've never had a relationship so loving, patient, loyal, and genuine. I could write for hours trying to explain the depth of love and feelings that I have for this person, but I know that no matter how much I write I won't be able to explain the love that we have.
There were nights that I prayed for a love like this. I begged God to let the next man that came into my life be the one, after every failed relationship. But, it just wasn't my time, and now just might not be yours either. But shutting out the idea of love completely because of fear that you'll never find the love you deserve will just make things harder. I know it seems impossible, but don't give up.
Your time will come.
I understand things are easier said than done, constantly being broken down by love. I understand the pain of believing that you did everything right but it still hurting and still failing. But I promise, that when it's your time, you will experience the love that you've been waiting, praying, fighting, and searching for. Your soul will be at peace, and you will be thankful that you didn't give up, and that you went through these experiences. Because without them, you wouldn't be able to truly appreciate the love you're being given.
When your time comes, you'll know. And when it comes, find peace in the comfort that it will bring. Don't be scared to fail, you'll be exactly where you need to be.