Listen, gentlemen, I know being stuck in the friend zone is terrible.
She considers you her best friend and even has the audacity to ask, "Why can't more guys be like you?" which only breaks your heart. It makes you wonder that if you're so great and have the potential to be a prime example for other men to follow, why aren't you her prime candidate? Why is she sending 'I love you' texts to a guy that doesn't appreciate everything about her — the terrible jokes and puns, bubbly personality, beautiful eyes, and a smile so bright and contagious everyone stops to look? Why is she dating the guy who berates her for these qualities?
Better yet, why does she vent to you about her rocky relationship when she boasts about how great of a guy you are?
Please know It's not you. You're perfect exactly how you are.
The fact of the matter is, she can be herself around you, warts and all, and I promise you, that means more to her than anything the other guy can do. While she feels she has to always look her best, be on her A-game, and keep her quirkiness to a minimum with her man, she's able to embrace the sweat pants, no makeup, and her seemingly endless stream of terrible, terrible jokes with you.
In truth, she loves herself when she's around you because she feels comfortable and accepted for who she is. Whereas with him, she suppresses the parts of herself you love so much because she wants to be loved by him.
She knows you're an amazing guy. She knows you treat her right. But still, you're stuck in this seemingly everlasting friend zone loop despite doing everything right by her. Why?
She needs you. She needs that release. While he may be receiving the 'I love you' texts, you're receiving the gestures. We were told ever since childhood that actions speak louder than words. She loves you, truly loves you, trust me — she just doesn't realize it yet. Yes, it might take her a little while and yes, I know the phrase "nice guys finish last" is annoying, but it'll be worth it in the end.
So for the time being, when she's venting to you about whatever happened with her boyfriend, keep listening. That means more to her than you know because 9 times out of 10, she isn't heard in her relationship — but more than likely, you already knew that.
Keep listening, keep being the nice guy and her best friend. Keep being the guy that makes her ask, "why can't more guys be like you?"
Eventually, she'll ask herself the same questions you have the entire time and she'll finally come to the realization that your arms, your hoodies, you are her home — everything she's been yearning for.
She's just confused right now... maybe even a little lost. Give her the time she needs to find her way because when she finally does, she'll see you've been waiting for her, patiently, the entire time with her favorite bouquet of flowers and the most passionate kiss that neither of you thought possible.
There's no need to try to break down the door that's keeping you in the friend zone. She'll give you the key to her heart soon enough and when the time comes, she'll let you unlock it.
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