Lately, I have been so frustrated and I will admit I have yelled, cried, and poured out my heart to God.
It seems like all I have been doing lately is praying for someone to love me forever. I just want a simple and happy life I want to help others, be a good wife, and a caring mother. This is my dream and it is all I have ever wanted, and I know that I still have plenty of time to figure everything out. I am just frustrated because I always though I would find my husband at college, and my college career is almost over with no potential husband in sight.
Despite my frustration I have tried to find comfort in the word of God.
In Proverbs 3:5-6 it says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." I sometimes find it hard to trust in God, and I want to just take things into my own hands. However, I know that I have to trust God, and like the Bible versus says I cannot just lean on my understanding. I know that if I want to be a good wife and mother I must always put God first above everything else and trust in him.
We live in a society where a good relationship is all about putting your partner first, but I think society has it all wrong I think that God should be put above all else. I pray that the man who loves me next always puts God before me, and I pray that I do the same. In Matthew 6:33 it says, "But first seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
I will admit it I have not always dated for the right reasons, and I have not always put God first in my life.
I now know that this will leave a person broken and in shambles. For so long I dated for all the wrong reasons such as being lonely or maybe it was just for a good time. I now know that dating means so much more than just that, and for christians we should want to date with an end goal being marriage.
I use to think that falling in love is something that happens in real life and not just movies.
However, I have come to the conclusion that the movies have it all wrong. Most of the time society and movies teach us that love is about sex or things such as physical attraction. The Bible clearly says in Ephesians 5:3 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immortally, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." I pray that there is not even the slightest amount of sexual immortality in my relationship with the man who loves me next.
I may not ever know all the answers and that is ok, but I pray that despite my frustration that I continue to follow God and his word.
I no longer want the relationship that society says is good. I want a Godly relationship which means not only putting God first, but it means that me and my partner must also follow God's word. I know that if I do not follow the word of God it will only lead to emptiness. It tells us in Ephesians 3:19 "and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God." I believe the only way to ever be full in life is to have God in your life.
I pray that the person who loves me next does not love me in a meaningless way, but most importantly I hope that they believe not just in God but also in his word.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14 it says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
I am by no means asking for the man who loves me next to be perfect.
I know that there will never be anyone that is perfect. I am not looking for a man who meets my requirements, but rather one who meets God's requirements. Even though I have no clue where life is going to take me I always find comfort in God's word. In Jeremiah 29:11 it tells me that " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and hope." This is such great news! For me that means God still has a plan for me, and it may not be what I had in mind but I know that it will be good.