toxic ex relationships
Start writing a post
Swoon

Do NOT Normalize The Behavior Of Your Toxic Ex, You Don't Owe Them That

You shouldn't feel guilty to laugh and smile again.

125
Do NOT Normalize The Behavior Of Your Toxic Ex, You Don't Owe Them That

Every relationship is unique and different, and so, each definition of an ex is too. With that said, sometimes exes can fall into certain categories that need to be addressed. One such classification that must be discussed and dealt with is the toxic ex or an ex that has since turned toxic.

Looking back on the relationship with said ex, you might not think they could be this kind of person. They made you laugh, they took you out, you had fun together. You made what you thought would stay happy memories.

But, unexpectedly it ended badly. This person who you hoped would be there for you, the person who made you smile is now the reason your hands shake with anger or your eyes fill with tears.

There are almost endless ways that break-ups go south. It sucks, but it's true.

No, this doesn't mean it is inevitable or going to happen to you.

When things end badly, what can you do? It seems logical to reach out and try to salvage the relationship into a friendship for some people. But, this only works if both people make the effort.

And sometimes, you may both want that, but you realize that it will hurt you more than it will help you. It's okay to put yourself and your emotional well-being before your ex's. I'm actually encouraging it.

It's not okay for an ex to randomly check up on you, to ask you if you're seeing someone new, or to stir up drama about what you put on social media. You don't owe them an explanation as to what you're doing in your life after them. The decision was made to separate your romantic lives, so honor that decision.

You are also not responsible for their life. You are not their mother or spouse, and as mentioned, you're not even sure if you're friends.

Boiled down, toxic exes are people who need help, plain and simple. This isn't meant to be mean, just honest. People who manipulate, take advantage, and demand explanations they aren't warranted are in need of help from their own support systems, and in some cases, professionals.

I know it's hard to watch someone you loved, or in some ways still do, struggle. Maybe you feel the need to help, and it's also okay to feel like this. This just means that you're human and that you're caring.

Never think that is a weakness.

But, caring also means self-care and realizing that taking the verbal and emotional abuse from them doesn't help either of you. How can their wrong actions towards you, result in a happy and healthy outcome for them?

I am not making a blanket statement for all cases of abuse or serious altercation, but in this scenario, you have the power to stop being a victim. You don't have to take the heart-breaking comments or piercing slurs they call you, you can remove yourself in any way possible.

It may come off as harsh, but don't let them drag you down with them. Sometimes they need to hit their version of rock-bottom before they can get better.

This isn't about being selfish. This is about self-respect and respect in general. Love and relationships are not meant to be traps. Genuine love and respect don't ask you to sacrifice yourself without cause or reason.

You shouldn't feel guilty to laugh and smile again. You should feel happy.

Report this Content
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55034
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35447
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957565
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

184687
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments