One heartbreak. One struggle of constantly wondering why they weren't good enough. One tear-filled call to their mom, or best friend, detailing every mean thing he yelled at them. One realization that maybe he wasn't the good guy you swore he was. That's all it takes to send a young woman off the deep end, swearing that relationships are overrated and that she's through with them.
Toxic relationships can destroy a person. They leave you wondering if love is ever worth it. If you'll ever find this love that everyone else around you seems to have. Anymore, young women walk away from toxic relationships in shambles. They aren't sure how to continue on. They don't know if they're overreacting or being too sensitive or too clingy. They have to learn to love again, which causes many of us to give up.
You won't understand heartbreak until you've watched the person you swore was your soulmate become a monster. Twisting your every word, making you think that you did something to deserve this. Toxic relationships quickly go from happiness and all the lovey-dovey feelings you've always dreamed of to misery. It's hard to walk away, and when you finally decide to, you're left to start all over.
The last thing you want is to find someone who is toxic just like he was because when you first met him, he wasn't toxic. He was your dream. That's what is so scary. Toxic relationships never start off toxic, so how can we know at the beginning that our new man isn't going to become something just like the one we fought so hard to get over? Everyone says walking away is the hardest part, but it isn't. It's picking up all the pieces and becoming ready to love again. It's walking away and STAYING away, not just for a few weeks but for good, finally blocking them from your social media and deleting pictures you swore you'd keep forever.
That's why all it takes is one toxic relationship to cause young women to give up on dating for good.
We're so scared we're going to get hurt again. That we'll find somebody who we think is great, but who ends up being even worse than the last monster we dealt with. We can't see past the horror into what might actually be good because all that we know about love is what isn't good. We're better off completely untouched than to have to deal with the possibility of being broken again. After the toxic relationship, all you can feel is all the bad—the self-doubt, the insecurities, the anxiety. You become your own worst nightmare when you meet somebody new because you can't not overanalyze everything they do. It's in the fear your toxic ex created.
Loving again after a toxic relationship takes a special kind of person. Someone who isn't going to rush. Someone who wants to grow together with you through this. Anymore, that's so hard to find. Hard enough that many of us just give up, and think that love isn't worth finding. Maybe, after all this time, we've come to realize love isn't even something we need.