10 Signs Your 'Perfect' Relationship Might Actually Be Super Toxic And You Should GTFO ASAP
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So many of you people think your relationships are perfect. Good for you!

I'm sure a decent bunch of your relationships are actually healthy, but no one is perfect by a longshot. I've been around enough people in my three years of college to witness what a healthy relationship is, and what healthy one isn't. Our generation really loves the idea of love, but a lot of us really don't know how to properly express it. I was hanging out with one of my close friends and she was working on a project about healthy relationships, and thusly I was inspired. I'm tired of people thinking they can get away with certain behavior, and call it healthy.

Yes, this is me breaking down your thick walls, to let you know the things you and/or your partner are doing are not right and need to be put to a stop.

1. Excessive PDA

You think it's cute, your partner thinks it's cute, but NEWS FLASH: The rest of us don't and we get super uncomfortable seeing it. I think a couple who can't keep off of each other in the public eye is overcompensating for something. It's that or you have some weird kink for making people feel uncomfortable.

2. Lack of trust

If you have to have your partner text you 24/7 where they are, what they're doing and who they're with, clearly there's no trust there. A relationship without trust is never going to last. You may have had bad things happen to you in the past to cause this lack of trust, but this person could be different, and you'd never know because you're not giving them room to breathe.

3. Poor communication

If his response to an argument is to storm off and then come back an hour later as if nothing happened, that's not communication. Whenever you have a problem, you never fix it, you just leave it to fester more and more. Sweeping things under the rug will not help the relationship or save face with friends and family, they aren't blind.

4. Dishonesty

If you cannot be real with your person, who CAN you be real with? Admit to your faults, tell them when you have done something wrong, and then move on. It's disrespectful to withhold the truth from someone you love, in the end, all they can ask for is the truth instead of a web of lies.

5. Obsessive social media

STOP. Just stop being the couple posting about each other every other second. You're putting more effort into your posts than your relationship. Social media tends to warp everything about a relationship, causing jealousy among partners, to say the least. Your followers are probably pretty tired of it. I'm getting tired of it. Single people don't care that you love your man, taken people don't care either. Just keep it to a bare minimum please and thank you.

6. Impatience

Do not push your partner to do anything they are uncomfortable doing. Listen to them, and go at whatever pace they need. Their voice is just as important as yours. You are equals. It may take them longer to open up, or maybe they aren't ready to meet your family yet. Regardless you compromise and move forward.

7. Unwillingness to compromise

I may not want sushi, but if my boyfriend wanted it, I would make the compromise to go to a sushi place with him, and next time we would go get Italian food because that's what I want. It's really easy to compromise and there is no excuse to justify not doing so.

8. Friends and family drifting away

Friends will drift more so than family, but you'll definitely notice people who were there before for you aren't going to be around much anymore. Your friends probably don't care for your significant other, and since you're around them 24/7, your friends will be taking every pain to avoid you at all costs, or just give you the bare minimum of attention. Your family probably won't approve, which will lead to arguments and strain on those relationships.

Pro tip: please don't let a guy or girl ruin relationships that have lasted years for someone who you'll likely never be with a year from now.

9. Losing your individuality

You are your own person. If you let a partner define you, you will never know who you are post-breakup. I am personally disgusted by someone who doesn't keep their own identity in a relationship. Be independent and don't become some pathetic excuse of a person who is only defined by their relationship. If you feel like you're losing yourself in your relationship, take a step back asap.

10. Manipulation

If your partner does certain things because it purposely hurts you, or vice versa, in order to get what they want, that's disturbing. Can you stop being such a psychopath to someone who you're supposed to love? I'm pretty sure if you feel like you're being manipulated in any way, or are being manipulative in any way, that you don't deserve to be with anyone. You shouldn't have to feel threatened in any way, and should be able to get what you want through adult discussion.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

An Open Letter To The Girl In A Toxic Relationship Who Doesn't See The Signs To Let Go

"it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing" -R.H Sin

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Dear you,

I hope you're doing well. I once thought I was too. I once thought that if he would just change, for me, everything would work. However, my sweet girl, you should not have to change people, you should not have to push people to be better, for you. You cannot help anyone, that does not want to help themselves.

In the movies, we learn to love a bad boy that needs changing. However, it isn't always your job to be boys saving grace. However, his shaming and emotional abuse is not just something you should put up with so that you can love him. That is not loving.

Love is not a constant competition of who could belittle the other one first. Love is not asking for a hug and being told no. Love does not make you feel stupid for bringing up things that hurt your feelings.

Love does not grow angry because you talk to your mom about your feelings. Love does not body shame. Love does not constantly change the passcode to their phone.

Love does not laugh when you find out they're unfaithful. Love does not tell you that you are not smart enough to accomplish anything. Love does not force their hand up your thigh when the words "no" slip out of your mouth.

Love is the warmth of a hand on your cheek when you get anxious. Love is getting your backpack out the car for you. Love is turning around when you need them. Love compromises.

Love is encouraging. Love is proud. Love is forgiving. Love sees you for who you are. Love knows you are worthy.

God is your Father and you are His daughter, so do not believe for one second that this abuse is the love you think you deserve.

Love will not always be easy. Love will be challenging and a constant prayer to not anger so quickly.

However, do not mix up challenging with the abuse. If you are losing the good pieces of yourself, then it isn't love. I know that you put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but it is no good, you are holding on to someone whose heart is not in the right place to love you.

I connected with a poem from R. H. Sin, once I left my toxic relationship which reads, "it took letting go to realize that I was holding onto nothing."

Darling girl, you are so loved by so many people, do not let this relationship hold you back or make you feel less worthy than you are. I have always been the girl with her nose stuck up in the air smelling for smoke, to follow the trail to a burning house to find a boy that needed saving, but it is more than likely a boy that lit the fire in the first place and needs changing.

So, do not be me, be better. Be the girl that lights her own world on fire, for her work, for her family, for God. You are you and you are amazing, so do not fear being without him.

You will feel as if you have come up for air after drowning in an ocean that you had no idea you were swimming in.

The emotional abuse that this boy has put you through and maybe even physical abuse will leave you building walls around your heart. It will make other relationships hard, but you are so so strong.

You will meet someone that makes you so happy and feel so easy to love, you will never understand how you stuck around with the one that hurt you for so long.

You deserve to grow from this, and I promise you will.

Let go.

xoxo,

The girl who learned from a toxic relationship

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Being Far Away From My Boyfriend Actually Strengthened Our Relationship Instead Of Forcing It Apart

While we were apart, we became closer.

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Before I really start this article, I just want to say that my relationship isn't truly a long distance relationship. We are both college students at the same university eight months out of the year, but the other four months we live quite a distance apart. Even during those four months, we are only about 150 miles from each other as the bird flies, but really about three hours from each other.

Being in a relationship where I'm not able to see my boyfriend every day or even every week has been a real challenge. But it's been a good challenge. It hasn't been a challenge because I've felt unfaithful or fallen out of love with him in any way. It's challenging because I miss him. We both work jobs and our schedules aren't the same and oftentimes we aren't able to talk to each other unless it's early in the morning or late at night. There are times when all I want to do is talk to him and tell him about how my day went and get a big bear hug from him. Unfortunately, I'm not really able to do this.

I firmly believe that being apart from each other for days, weeks, or even months have brought us closer than we could've ever imagined. We knew that this would be difficult, and we knew that there would be bad days, but we decided to power through it. It has made each time that we are able to see each other so much more special and meaningful.

Seeing each other has become more of spending time with each other than just laying around on the couch playing around on our phones. It's become really getting to know each other better and catching up on all the things we had missed. It's become a time for us to simply be in each other's presence and enjoy being able to talk face to face without a phone in the middle of us. We go on more adventurous dates, we take more pictures, and I think we would both easily say that we fall more and more in love with each other after each opportunity we have to spend time together.

Spending time together is no longer a daily activity, but it has become a right to be earned through hard work and several paychecks as travel can become expensive. We no longer take opportunities to see each other for granted, and it has made us grow closer because we aren't able to spend time together often. We look forward to the days when we won't have to worry about being apart but know that this is only a stepping stone in our relationship.

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