10 Signs Your 'Perfect' Relationship Might Actually Be Super Toxic And You Should GTFO ASAP

So many of you people think your relationships are perfect. Good for you!

I'm sure a decent bunch of your relationships are actually healthy, but no one is perfect by a longshot. I've been around enough people in my three years of college to witness what a healthy relationship is, and what healthy one isn't. Our generation really loves the idea of love, but a lot of us really don't know how to properly express it. I was hanging out with one of my close friends and she was working on a project about healthy relationships, and thusly I was inspired. I'm tired of people thinking they can get away with certain behavior, and call it healthy.

Yes, this is me breaking down your thick walls, to let you know the things you and/or your partner are doing are not right and need to be put to a stop.

1. Excessive PDA

You think it's cute, your partner thinks it's cute, but NEWS FLASH: The rest of us don't and we get super uncomfortable seeing it. I think a couple who can't keep off of each other in the public eye is overcompensating for something. It's that or you have some weird kink for making people feel uncomfortable.

2. Lack of trust

If you have to have your partner text you 24/7 where they are, what they're doing and who they're with, clearly there's no trust there. A relationship without trust is never going to last. You may have had bad things happen to you in the past to cause this lack of trust, but this person could be different, and you'd never know because you're not giving them room to breathe.

3. Poor communication

If his response to an argument is to storm off and then come back an hour later as if nothing happened, that's not communication. Whenever you have a problem, you never fix it, you just leave it to fester more and more. Sweeping things under the rug will not help the relationship or save face with friends and family, they aren't blind.

4. Dishonesty

If you cannot be real with your person, who CAN you be real with? Admit to your faults, tell them when you have done something wrong, and then move on. It's disrespectful to withhold the truth from someone you love, in the end, all they can ask for is the truth instead of a web of lies.

5. Obsessive social media

STOP. Just stop being the couple posting about each other every other second. You're putting more effort into your posts than your relationship. Social media tends to warp everything about a relationship, causing jealousy among partners, to say the least. Your followers are probably pretty tired of it. I'm getting tired of it. Single people don't care that you love your man, taken people don't care either. Just keep it to a bare minimum please and thank you.

6. Impatience

Do not push your partner to do anything they are uncomfortable doing. Listen to them, and go at whatever pace they need. Their voice is just as important as yours. You are equals. It may take them longer to open up, or maybe they aren't ready to meet your family yet. Regardless you compromise and move forward.

7. Unwillingness to compromise

I may not want sushi, but if my boyfriend wanted it, I would make the compromise to go to a sushi place with him, and next time we would go get Italian food because that's what I want. It's really easy to compromise and there is no excuse to justify not doing so.

8. Friends and family drifting away

Friends will drift more so than family, but you'll definitely notice people who were there before for you aren't going to be around much anymore. Your friends probably don't care for your significant other, and since you're around them 24/7, your friends will be taking every pain to avoid you at all costs, or just give you the bare minimum of attention. Your family probably won't approve, which will lead to arguments and strain on those relationships.

Pro tip: please don't let a guy or girl ruin relationships that have lasted years for someone who you'll likely never be with a year from now.

9. Losing your individuality

You are your own person. If you let a partner define you, you will never know who you are post-breakup. I am personally disgusted by someone who doesn't keep their own identity in a relationship. Be independent and don't become some pathetic excuse of a person who is only defined by their relationship. If you feel like you're losing yourself in your relationship, take a step back asap.

10. Manipulation

If your partner does certain things because it purposely hurts you, or vice versa, in order to get what they want, that's disturbing. Can you stop being such a psychopath to someone who you're supposed to love? I'm pretty sure if you feel like you're being manipulated in any way, or are being manipulative in any way, that you don't deserve to be with anyone. You shouldn't have to feel threatened in any way, and should be able to get what you want through adult discussion.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Subtle Ways You May Be Disrespecting Your Friend's Relationship

If they make your friend happy, you shouldn't be doing these things.


No ones significant other wants to tell them they don't like their friends. And trying to tell anyone not to hang out with the people they're closest too is a disaster waiting to happen.

Some people really just don't like their friend's partner, but others have no idea the damage they may be doing to the relationship. If you are more aware of some things to avoid, hopefully, you, your friend, and their partner can all get along in peace.

1. When you see your friend, make sure to acknowledge their partner.

To be honest, this is a basic courtesy. If you go to say hi to anyone in a group of people, it is polite to greet, or at least acknowledge, everyone there. If you completely ignore that your friend's partner is even there, it will make them feel awkward and neglected. Just say hi.

2. Don't be overly touchy-feely with your friend, especially around their partner.

Obviously, this mostly applies to friends of the opposite sex (for heterosexual couples). Look, there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex but just know your boundaries. You may think your friend's partner is being jealous for no reason, but are you doing anything that might make them uncomfortable?

You don't need to always have your arm around them or be leaned up against them. It is really inappropriate to kiss them on the cheek or give them super long hugs, even if that is something you did before they had a partner, and even if it is completely platonic.

You can still hug and be close to your friend, just be respectful of their boundaries. If you don't give their partner any reason to be jealous then they will have no basis to dislike you.

3. If you invite your friend somewhere, it is polite to also invite their partner.

Even if you assume your friend's partner is going to come, it is nice to make them feel welcomed. And if you don't want their partner to come, make sure they are not together or planning to be together when you invite your friend.

You don't have to always have their partner around, but don't make it a habit of not inviting them. If they don't feel welcomed around their partner's friends, then they probably won't feel as confident in their relationship.

4. Don't ever bring up your friend's past relationships, especially around their partner.

Even if they are on good terms. Even if you are still friends with their ex. Just don't bring them up. No one wants to hear about their partner's past relationships or flings. It is embarrassing and uncomfortable to have to hear about your partner's exes.

5. If you are all out together, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There is a good chance that if you are out with your friend and their partner, their partner does not know many people there. If that is the case, don't try to separate your friend from their partner.

There may be an exception if their partner has friends around too, or if they are outgoing and can talk to anybody easily, but otherwise, it is really awkward to be in that situation alone. They are with their partner for a reason, and it is nice to make their partner feel included as well.

Just don't make it a habit to always pull your friend away.

6. Don't put your friend in any awkward or risky situations.

If your friend is a cheater, that is not really any fault of yours. But don't be the friend who is known for putting your partnered friend in risky situations.

There is nothing wrong with going out occasionally with your friends, but it does not need to be a regular occurrence, especially if it makes their partner uncomfortable.

Along the same lines, if you know an ex-partner or fling will be there, you don't need to put your friend in that awkward situation. Just be aware of the situation and how it might make their partner feel.

To wrap up, you don't need to completely change your relationship with your friend just to make their partner happy; just make sure to be polite and respectful of their partner and their relationship.

These are some subtle things you may be doing that are hurting your friend's relationship that you don't even realize have negative consequences. Simply be more aware of some of these situations and how they could potentially make your friend's partner feel. After all, the best relationships are the ones where your partner's friends also become your friends.

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My BF And I Were 'Just Friends' And Now We're Celebrating Our One Year Anniversary

Dating my best friend was the best decision I have ever made.


In August 2017, Brendan and I met. A group of friends invited him and me to go to Wendy's after a meeting for a school club. We talked the whole time — the conversation seemed endless in the best way possible. Later that night, I called him to ask him what water balloons I should buy for a celebration the next day. From that day forward, I cannot remember a day where I have not called him. It started off as nothing more as a platonic relationship from my perspective, but he would advocate otherwise.

Fast-forward to January 2018, Brendan and I started seeing each other outside of school. We would make up excuses and white lies to our friends and parents, saying that we were going to the library to study when really we would just sit in the parking lot and talk for hours until he had to drive me home. He became my best friend. I wanted to tell him everything — good news, bad news, stupid rants, my blonde moments, random and unfiltered thoughts. However, day-in and day-out, I kept denying that it was anything more than a friendship. Again, he would argue otherwise.

On April 27, 2018, I gave in.

We were sitting in his parked Dodge Durango, listening to a pop radio station. I was leaning over the center console to rest my head on his shoulder, and we were waiting for the sun to go down at a park. Abruptly, I looked over at him and ironically asked if he would be my boyfriend. For some reason, we did not tell our family or friends for about a month (sorry, Mum and Dad). I wish I would have realized it sooner, but regardless of timing, dating my best friend was the best decision I have ever made.

Christmas 2018Olivia Zidzik

Since then, our relationship has overcome insane distances.

Being 12 miles away turned into 1,601 miles when he went on a service trip to Boca Chica in the Dominican Republic this past summer. It went back to 12 miles for a little while. However, at the end of the summer, it turned into 413 miles when I moved to the University of Kentucky. In October, we were only a few feet apart as I hid behind his car in his school parking lot to surprise him. After I have returned and left home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break, he decided it was time for him to come to Lexington in March 2019.

All the time spent together and apart brings us to our one year — April 27, 2019.

Hey, Brendan: Although we will be 413 miles apart for it, happy one-year. You have been my rock and my best friend for the past 20-some months, and there are not enough thank you's that I can say to express how thankful I am that God put you in my life. I am so beyond grateful and appreciative for everything you have done and sacrificed for me and for us. I cannot wait to see where our journey will go next, but until then — here's to me and you. I love you. See you very very soon.

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