So many of you people think your relationships are perfect. Good for you!
I'm sure a decent bunch of your relationships are actually healthy, but no one is perfect by a longshot. I've been around enough people in my three years of college to witness what a healthy relationship is, and what healthy one isn't. Our generation really loves the idea of love, but a lot of us really don't know how to properly express it. I was hanging out with one of my close friends and she was working on a project about healthy relationships, and thusly I was inspired. I'm tired of people thinking they can get away with certain behavior, and call it healthy.
Yes, this is me breaking down your thick walls, to let you know the things you and/or your partner are doing are not right and need to be put to a stop.
1. Excessive PDA
You think it's cute, your partner thinks it's cute, but NEWS FLASH: The rest of us don't and we get super uncomfortable seeing it. I think a couple who can't keep off of each other in the public eye is overcompensating for something. It's that or you have some weird kink for making people feel uncomfortable.
2. Lack of trust
If you have to have your partner text you 24/7 where they are, what they're doing and who they're with, clearly there's no trust there. A relationship without trust is never going to last. You may have had bad things happen to you in the past to cause this lack of trust, but this person could be different, and you'd never know because you're not giving them room to breathe.
3. Poor communication
If his response to an argument is to storm off and then come back an hour later as if nothing happened, that's not communication. Whenever you have a problem, you never fix it, you just leave it to fester more and more. Sweeping things under the rug will not help the relationship or save face with friends and family, they aren't blind.
If you cannot be real with your person, who CAN you be real with? Admit to your faults, tell them when you have done something wrong, and then move on. It's disrespectful to withhold the truth from someone you love, in the end, all they can ask for is the truth instead of a web of lies.
5. Obsessive social media
STOP. Just stop being the couple posting about each other every other second. You're putting more effort into your posts than your relationship. Social media tends to warp everything about a relationship, causing jealousy among partners, to say the least. Your followers are probably pretty tired of it. I'm getting tired of it. Single people don't care that you love your man, taken people don't care either. Just keep it to a bare minimum please and thank you.
Do not push your partner to do anything they are uncomfortable doing. Listen to them, and go at whatever pace they need. Their voice is just as important as yours. You are equals. It may take them longer to open up, or maybe they aren't ready to meet your family yet. Regardless you compromise and move forward.
7. Unwillingness to compromise
I may not want sushi, but if my boyfriend wanted it, I would make the compromise to go to a sushi place with him, and next time we would go get Italian food because that's what I want. It's really easy to compromise and there is no excuse to justify not doing so.
8. Friends and family drifting away
Friends will drift more so than family, but you'll definitely notice people who were there before for you aren't going to be around much anymore. Your friends probably don't care for your significant other, and since you're around them 24/7, your friends will be taking every pain to avoid you at all costs, or just give you the bare minimum of attention. Your family probably won't approve, which will lead to arguments and strain on those relationships.
Pro tip: please don't let a guy or girl ruin relationships that have lasted years for someone who you'll likely never be with a year from now.
9. Losing your individuality
You are your own person. If you let a partner define you, you will never know who you are post-breakup. I am personally disgusted by someone who doesn't keep their own identity in a relationship. Be independent and don't become some pathetic excuse of a person who is only defined by their relationship. If you feel like you're losing yourself in your relationship, take a step back asap.
If your partner does certain things because it purposely hurts you, or vice versa, in order to get what they want, that's disturbing. Can you stop being such a psychopath to someone who you're supposed to love? I'm pretty sure if you feel like you're being manipulated in any way, or are being manipulative in any way, that you don't deserve to be with anyone. You shouldn't have to feel threatened in any way, and should be able to get what you want through adult discussion.