‘Twilight’ Is The Reason Millennials Can’t Have Normal Relationships In 2018

This year, we're celebrating the 10th anniversary of the tragedy that we all know as the Twilight Saga movies. Remember geeking out at every single midnight premiere? Or arguing with your friends over the Edward vs. Jacob rivalry? Yeah, me too.

In the spirit of celebrating this weird cult fan fiction from our younger years, my roommates and I recently decided to re-watch the entire series, not only re-living the cringe of every scene but finally noticing how truly messed up the Bella/Edward/Jacob love triangle is.

Why can't millennials have normal relationships? "Twilight." It was always "Twilight."

I mean… think about all the horrible relationship examples that the series showed us:

1. Having no social competence to have conversations with love interests

Arguably the most cringy scene in the entire series.

 2.  Edward and Jacob’s collective idea that Bella can’t live without either of them

To both Edward and Jacob, Bella's an object that belongs to them.

3. Dumping someone and abandoning them in the woods

"We're breaking up. And I'm leaving you in the forest."

4. Doing creepy things like, I don’t know, breaking into people’s homes and watching them sleep

As you do.

5. Bella is willing to do anything dangerous or violent for Edward

Remember how she put herself in all those life-threatening scenarios in 'New Moon' after Edward left? Like hanging out with that group of rapey dudes and jumping off a cliff? Yeah.

6. Bella gets married at 18, despite the fact that she’s in love with two different guys and doesn’t really know what she wants 


7. The standard that a woman has to change everything about herself to be compatible with a guy

She literally gives up her MORTALITY and uproots her entire life for Edward.

8. Isolating your partner from their family and loved ones

Poor Charlie.

9. Normalizing physical abuse on top of psychological abuse

Even though Edward threw Bella into a wall and horribly bruised her body during sex, she's cool with it.

10. Bella is completely incapable of being a self-sufficient, independent woman 

Thanks, Stephanie Meyer, for planting that idea in all our heads as teenagers.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Look, I Don't Want Your Boy, But 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' Makes Me Feel Incredible

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.


I have seen so many thoughts and complaints that Ariana Grande's new song, "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" is shallow.

Some are even saying, "this song just perpetuates everything that is wrong with dating and relationships in society today."

But, girl, I have to disagree.

You see, just because I sing this song at the top of my lungs in both my dorm's shower and alone in my car, I am not going to steal anyone's boyfriend.

I am simply pretending like I am some kind of bad chick that no one should mess with but in reality, I apologize for walking in someone's direction.

And, let's say, if I were to say something lighthearted or friendly to him and he responds with actions that propose cheating, he wasn't a good boyfriend in the first place.

Listen, girls: stop being so insecure.

You have a boyfriend. He loves you. He chose you. If another girl comes by and his eyes dart her way, his heart wasn't in it all the way.

Not everything is deeper than the skin.

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that it's OK for girls to go around and try to steal boyfriends. Actually, that's a pretty trashy move that no one should attempt. I know it happens, though. I know it is everyone's worst fear.

However, there is no life living within fear of rejection and being left. If those are the things that linger in the back of your mind, you will never taste the freedom of living.

Truly living.

So am I a bad person, considering that 'break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored' is my anthem?

It makes me feel empowered. It makes me feel my best.

So no, just listening to Ari's new bop doesn't make me a bad person or a boyfriend stealer.

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7 Tiny Things College Dudes Do That Give Off Major Small Dick Energy

If you exhibit any of these signs, re-evaluate yourself and your choices.


If you don't know what "small dick energy" means, let me give you the Urban Dictionary definition: "someone who shows off masculinity by being cocky, showing off, overly confident to overcompensate their 4.2 inch fully erect dick."

If you're afraid you might have this tragic disease: let me explain some of the key symptoms:

1. Adding girls you don't know on any social media platform just because you think they're hot.

I never thought friend requests could be so annoying.

2. Messaging said girls with some stupid pick-up-line to start a conversation.

What is this? Tinder?

3. Getting mad and aggressive when said girls don't message you back.

Kristyn Park

Bonus points for calling them mean names!

4. Getting even angrier when they do message back saying they're not interested.

Your insecurity isn't sexy.

5. Putting others down or not treating others with respect.

If you can't be polite to your servers or other customer service employees, you are the epitome of small dick energy.

6. Cornering girls at bars or parties and making them obviously uncomfortable.

If she doesn't seem interested in the conversation, she's not interested in you. Take a hint and walk away.

7. Any sort of forcefulness, pressure, or prejudice coming from a guy as he's talking to a girl.

BIG indicators of small dick energy and also toxic masculinity!

Now look, I know it sounds like I'm being a bitch, but let me tell you that I, and every other female on this planet regardless of race, sexuality, or anything that differentiates us, has been a victim of men with small dick energy. And it's not fucking cute anymore. In fact, it never was. If anything, it's uncomfortable, it's annoying, and it's concerning.

A girl is not a bitch, a slut, a loser, or any other name you want to throw at her if she doesn't like your advances. Calling her that is probably going to make her want to suck your (small) dick even less than before, if possible. We don't know you, and even if we did, we don't owe you anything. And if your first reaction to rejection is name-calling and blatant aggression, then you are likely a toxic person as it is who's got some deep-seated anger issues that you should probably take care of. And if you think that treating someone like that is okay and don't see anything wrong with that, then you might just be a psychopath, honestly.

Have some class and self-respect, guys, and leave the #smalldickenergy back in 2018.

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