Relationships are the most complicated blessings one can experience. Depending on what relationship and how it was, it can either change your life for the better or completely drain you out. I’ve been single for about a year and two months now. I can definitely feel and notice how much growth and independence I’ve evolved into by transitioning from having someone being a part of your life to being alone.

The struggle is real when exiting a relationship, but it’s up to you to figure out what is going to benefit you and build you up as a human being. The reason why this topic came up to me is because I’m currently watching my cousin go through a break up from a very toxic relationship she was in, and it’s making me realize so much about my experience and just how to help her get through it.

I was in a six-year relationship from eighth grade to my first year of college. Yes, I am very young and yes it’s crazy that I was dating someone for throughout my whole high-school experience. However, it wasn’t the best one. It was actually very toxic. Yet it took me six years to let go.

This guy was my best friend, but would cheat, lie, play games, the whole disaster; and unfortunately, I couldn’t let go. I was emotionally and mentally abused from fourteen to almost eighteen and it drove me insane. The negativity was never worth it, but it sucked so bad because I was so blind.

Watching my cousin now is like watching a reflection of myself when I had to leave him. It took me forever to let go. I prepared myself the last two months of our relationship to push him away and get ready to deal with all the drama that he was going to make after leaving him.

For her, she never got to prepare herself. She caught him being unfaithful and let him treat her like crap for so long... but never grew tired. It happens. It has to take so much damage for most people to finally just let go and move on. It’s fear that always stops you and pulls you back into choosing what is the right decision for you.

So my message to her from day one has been to start realizing the truth. To think about the pros and cons of the relationship, and decide what is really worth it for herself. This lead to my favorite quote, “Time is your best friend but worst enemy” (Cameron Logan). It’s going to take time to deal with the pain and overthinking, but heal and grow and watch all the change come to life.

Focusing on positivity and keeping yourself busy is the key to success. You will watch yourself strengthen and learn from your experience and be ready to know what you want in life. It’s all practice for the ‘real’ one. You will know the games and tricks in future relationships and have the ability to realize what’s going on sooner because you’re more awake.

After a year, I have grown much stronger, and I am incredibly happy. I tend to keep myself busy by trying new things out and meeting new people as well. Going out and having company with me has also helped me keep myself together. Work hard, get your goals going, and do what it’s going to take to achieve them.

If someone is stopping you from building yourself and taking you off your path, then it’s your choice to choose whether or not it’s worth getting off the track. You should find someone who is going to support you and push you to be better. I’m proud of me, and I am proud of my cousin for staying strong throughout the process. It’s all a game of life… just play your cards right and don’t let anyone knock you down. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Xoxo

Princess J