Growing up, we all learned our own definitions of what "love" is. Whether that's physical touch, giving personal gifts, or just hanging out with each other, we all have our own way of interpreting and enacting this complicated emotion. That's where the five love languages come into play.
Based on a book by Gary Chapman, there are five categories of ways people receive and interpret love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. By discovering each other's love language, you can figure out how to properly display your love in a way that your partner will receive completely, and also learn what each other really wants and expects. If you're not sure what your love language(s) is/are, take the quiz to find out.
Let's break them down.
Words of Affirmation
This essentially boils down to verbal compliments and words of acknowledgment. It verbally demonstrates to your partner that they are appreciated. Simple compliments in a loving and genuine tone communicate the best. If you think your partner looks attractive in their outfit, tell them they look good. If they make you laugh, tell them you think they're funny. If they do anything that makes you appreciate them, tell them you're thankful for them. It doesn't take much to communicate love and appreciation.
Quality Time
If your partner's love language is quality time, they appreciate you being attentive to them. Genuinely hanging out with each other, talking, and focusing on just each other is how to communicate this, not just sitting on the couch and binge-watching Netflix next to each other. They just want to be with you, spending time together. Time is precious, and they just want you to take time out of your day, spend it with them and give attention to them.
Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this for materialism. That's absolutely not what having "receiving gifts" as a love language means. To people with this language, gifts hold the highest significance because it is a physical, tangible reminder of your love for them. They can look at it however much they prefer and think, "Wow, how kind of them to have been thinking of me." It can cost money or it can be something DIY off of Pinterest. The gift can be anything from picking up their favorite food at the store to something elaborate made just for them.
Acts of Service
Sometimes, just cleaning around the house can mean the most to your significant other. A great way to demonstrate love is to do things to help them out, such as tasks that need to be accomplished, For them, actions speak louder than words. Doing even the most mundane task can mean the world to them because you're actively showing you care and putting forth a physical effort.
Physical Touch
This is more than just sexually. The last of the love languages appreciates closeness. Hugging, kissing, hand-holding, and physical nearness are other examples of what physical touch can be. Even just sitting next to your partner can communicate this love. When this form is expressed to someone with this love language, they feel the most loved. Without it, they can feel empty or unloved or worthless.
There are barriers that can be posed with the love languages. If one of them isn't your love language as well, it can make communication a little difficult. For example, if your partner's top love language is physical touch but you're very big on personal space and just aren't a touchy person, you both need to make some extra steps made to accommodate each other.
You can also have more than one love language. After taking the quiz mentioned at the beginning of this article myself, I found I have three that all are tied having a high score. My own boyfriend has different love languages than me, and that's perfectly fine.
You just need to put in the effort to make sure that the love you think you are showing is actually being properly received by your partner. That's the biggest significance of understanding the love languages.