Ice cream is yummy. Like I am not sure what else to say about it other than it is delicious and cold. (Hello, I like my men delicious and cold—makes the no strings attached a lot easier, wassss good).

But, have you ever went grocery shopping and looked at the varieties of ice cream and struggled to pick out the flavor you want to devour next? Because I have. You can pick anything from vanilla to crackle crunch moose knuckle—the flavors are endless. (Do not expect to actually see "crackle crunch moose knuckle" at your local grocery store, that flavor was made up by yours truly).

Now, think about your sex life and think about what flavor best defines you. Do you enjoy the vanilla bean, the one that is tasty, basic, but will also cause you to bust, or are you the crackle crunch moose knuckle, the kind that enjoys having your ass destroyed by chains and whips?

Hi, yes the basic little girl in the back—you are vanilla! That basic girl in the back is me, btw. Being vanilla is when you just want your socks knocked off, your legs a little weak, or having a small little bite mark left on your neck to show that you are not as pure as you portray yourself to be. There is nothing wrong with being bland/original. Actually, a lot of people are like me. It is acceptable to just show up holding a condom and getting straight to business with the usual positions. Now, do not get it twisted, vanilla ice cream is also good with some syrup added, so do not think that 69, doggy, or other positions are out of the park. We like to show up with the occasional razzle-dazzle, you feel?

Just be careful, vanilla is a delicate flavor so do not put too many sprinkles, on the ice cream, or you can ruin the dessert. "Chains and whips excite me." No ma'am that scares me. Keep those at home for your next victim, just show up with a condom and keep it moderate.

Now, this is for all ya little kinky people. Obviously, you would not define yourself as vanilla, but instead of something different—like cookies and cream or I don't know maybe crackle crunch moose knuckle. I do not want bruises left on my body, an occasional hand print is acceptable, but ACTUAL BRUISES. Whoa, I am scared for you but also inspired. I hope to find the trust you guys have in your partner because trusting they will respect your boundaries is essential—that is why safe words are implemented.

I have nothing but mad respect for the people who are not vanilla, the power to y'all.

The best thing about sex is there are endless things to try and do, even for the people who differ in styles/ flavors. It is acceptable to be casual or extreme, it is all about your preference. Each person is different in bed, and that is what makes sex so unique. Find your flavor, and keep diving into that pint-size portion.