Love Is Patient, Because God's Best Is Worth The Wait

Love Is Patient, Because God's Best Is Worth The Wait

We have to be willing to wait for God's best!
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I got my first official boyfriend when I was a 15-year-old sophomore in high school. Ever since then I was always the girl who felt like she needed to be in a relationship, never taking the time to just simply enjoy being a teenage girl. There were moments in between my relationships where I was single, no longer than a few several months.

Looking back now, I wish that I was not so 'boy crazy' because none of them turned out to be the person I am supposed to be with, even though back then I could have sworn they were the true love of my life. I wholeheartedly believe I missed out on certain opportunities with my friends or family because of this.

Now that I am 21, granted it took me six years, but I have decided that I am going to not pursue a relationship with a boy, but one with the Lord. Over the past several months, I have had this tugging in my heart to get back into my walk with Him, to truly commit my life to Him. I have made this promise once before but my heart was not truly ready to accept the responsibility and the overwhelming love that the Lord has for me. I was too young and immature to understand but now that is not the case.

I had to go through some trials over the few years, go through experiences and find those to surround myself around that will be a positive influence in my walk in faith.

Our God wants every one of His children to know His overwhelming love, there is no lie, mountain, darkness, or anything in between where His love would not reach you. My love language is 'Words of Affirmation" meaning that to me words actually speak louder than actions. The Word of God has been nothing short of perfect because I can read through scripture, the love He has for us all. His word also talks about the love to have for others whether it be a neighbor or a significant other.

Finding love and finding "the one" is something that over the years people and society have stressed over, and if you haven't found someone by the time your 30 you might as well give up. Nowadays people turn to dating websites or go searching in all the wrong places for the one. I used to do that because I was so eager to find someone to just satisfy some of my ideal characteristics for a SO and for obvious reasons none of them worked out.

Another issue is that we give into the temptations of lust. Lust destroys consciousnesses. Lust destroys your walk with God. Our lust always costs us more, always thirsts. You can never fully satisfy its need.

Why? because we are not willing to wait for GOD'S BEST.

A lot of us are seeking somebody to just make us happy. But to truly be satisfied in life, you have to find the one. But "the one" isn't a boyfriend or girlfriend. It is God. We need to get into a relationship with God before we start dating. In Matthew 6:33 it states "But first seek His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

In 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 it says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” This is the standards I want to hold myself and my future person to.

Though no human is perfect, it is important to always keep this verse in mind.I want to be so focused on God that the man, not boy, that I am meant to be with will be struck in awe. None of my previous relationships had God at its core, and I think that's the reason why it never worked out. I want someone who is completely and irrevocably in love with Jesus. Someone who can keep up with me spiritually, and keep pursuing God always.

I deserve a man after God's own heart. Not just some boy who goes to church. I vow to myself that I will not ever settle again just because I do not want to be lonely.

Instead of asking "why?" I am going to start asking "what?" What is the Lord trying to accomplish through me. I will devote all my free time, pouring myself into Him and his word. Our God has a perfect plan for each and every one of us. We just have to be patient, trust in His timing and wait for God's best. Until then, He is my one true love until He decides I am ready.

Cover Image Credit: @jordanleedooley

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8 Qualities That Still Hold Up When Looking For The 'Perfect Guy' In 2019

He hasn't come along yet, but I'll know him when I see him.

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Ah, the mythical "perfect guy." Technically, he doesn't exist.

But there are guys that seem perfect to the people who love them despite their flaws. Over the years, I've compiled a mental list of things I look for in a guy. The list has changed over the years as different things became important to me. It's probably as complex and comprehensive now as it'll ever get, but I can't be sure.

The following are in order of importance, at least for me. Here are the best qualities to look for in a man in 2019:

1. Having strong faith.

This is crucial! I'm Christian, so for me, that means if he's not a Christian, it's a dealbreaker. My morals and beliefs are very strongly linked to my faith in God, and I just can't be with someone who doesn't share that conviction. I wouldn't marry a man who's not a Christian, so why even bother dating one?

"Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, 'That's her.'"

2. Kind

This is also very important! I've liked guys in the past who had some of the other qualities I looked for I but weren't kind. A relationship without kindness is toxic. Everyone deserves someone who treats them well, but that person should treat everyone well. They shouldn't discriminate with their kindness.

3. Funny

I need a guy who can make me laugh! He also needs to be able to understand my sense of humor, which is mostly sarcasm. I find a lot of things funny: jokes, puns, memes, no matter how seemingly stupid. If you've got those, you're golden.

4. Smart

Intelligence is attractive. It's true. I want a guy who's smart but isn't conceited. He knows he knows a lot but he doesn't think he's better than everyone else. He doesn't have to be a genius. He could be really smart in one subject, or kind of smart in many subjects. I just want him to know a thing or two about a thing or two.

5. Hardworking

My guy needs to be ambitious. He needs to have goals that he works toward. He can't be lazy. I believe that it is primarily the man's duty to financially support his woman. This is most applicable in marriage, but it works in dating relationships, too. I don't want someone who is unable to provide for me. In order to do that, he needs to be able to provide for himself.

6. Cute

You knew I'd get to this! I'm not blind, after all. Trust me, I think it's important for a guy to be attractive. But it's not as important as everything listed above this. I've been told I have weird taste in guys in terms of looks. What I see as cute doesn't always line up with society's definition. The important thing is that I'm attracted to him. Physical attraction is important in a relationship. To be picky: I don't like facial hair or too much muscle. I do like chest hair and back muscles.

7. Creative

This can mean a lot of different things. He could draw, paint, write, sing, play an instrument, etc. As long as it shows that he's inclined to use the right side of his brain. I'm a writer, so I'm naturally more drawn to people who prefer creativity over logic.

8. Interested in Me

Despite being last, this is extremely important! Without this, none of the other things matter. It's just like every other crush I've ever had. Nothing different. Nothing special. While I've been able to find guys who exhibit the first seven qualities, the eighth has been much harder to come by. I've never been in a relationship, so I imagine it will be really wonderful when I eventually find someone who reciprocates my feelings.


Some people may think my standards are too high, but I refuse to lower them. I believe that God has someone out there for me who lives up to these standards and even exceeds them. I just have to be patient and trust His timing.

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The Friend You Like Romantically Doesn't Owe You Anything

The friend-zone can be escaped, but not in the way you might want
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We've all heard the story of the "friend-zone." Boy is in love with his best friend, she dates all the wrong guys and fails to notice how perfect he is, then eventually realizes how wrong she was and they live happily ever after.

I used to think that the friend-zone was a myth that lonely men created to feel better about themselves. But then I got friend-zoned myself.

Yes, it sucked, but the second I realized I had feelings for a friend (that I knew had no such feelings for me), I decided to suppress the feelings. When that wasn't enough, I cut them off for a bit, then, slowly, I felt OK. I could communicate with them without having unwanted romantic feelings pop up. I had escaped the friend-zone.

Having gone through that, I had more sympathy for someone I had to friend-zone a little while later. I had been friends with this guy for a few months. I didn't have many college friends yet and I was really lonely, so having his company really meant a lot at the time.

This caused me to not be able to see what should have been clear: he had a crush on me. When I finally made the realization, I immediately let him know that I didn't feel that way about him. He said it was OK, but I could tell it wasn't.

We didn't talk at all over the summer and when we came back for the fall semester, he would barely look at me. I had started dating his friend, which caused an even bigger rift between us.

Though I understand where he's coming from, I was also really mad at him for a long time.

It was as if he was only nice to me because he wanted romance in return. But people are not vending machines. You can't put in your "nice guy" coins and expect love, sex, or whatever the hell it is you want in return.

It hurt me to know that he only wanted romance and once that was off the table, he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

But then I thought back to the friend that had friend-zoned me. Unrequited affections really suck, especially when they're for someone that you spend a lot of time with. But the key is to work to escape it.

Yes, liking someone you're friends with and them not liking you back is a real thing, but people tend to treat the friend-zone like this mythic hell dimension that can never be escaped. But you can escape. Just maybe not in the way you'd like to.

Now there are three ways you can escape the friend-zone:

The first option is to confess your feelings and try to win them over. Now, this isn't completely unheard of. I've had friends that have dated people who had previously friend-zoned them, but it's extremely rare and risky. You have to risk your entire friendship in order to do this. If it doesn't work out, it could strain the friendship or sometimes break it beyond repair.

You can also do what my ex-friend did and completely cut the person off. If you're being a love-zombie and only doing nice things for the friend because you expect romance in return, leaving the situation might be the most healthy decision for you. I understand now that my friend might have stopped talking to me out of self-preservation. But it still hurts the people involved.

The third and final option is to just get over it. It's harsh, but it's real. Why try something you know is going to fail and cause pain to both sides? Yes, getting over crushes can be really difficult, but getting a normal friendship back rather than being stuck a love-zombie for them is worth the pain.

Whichever one you choose, just remember this: Your friends do not owe you any romantic affection. The work you put into making them happy should just come out of the goodness of your own heart. If you expect romance in return, you're not being a good friend to them. If you really care about them, don't put that kind of pressure on them. They don't want a mindless love-zombie that does their bidding for the hope that they'll get a tiny love kernel out of it. They just want a friend.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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