You Might Think My Wedding Traditions Are Sexist, Good Thing It's Not Your Wedding
Start writing a post
Swoon

You Might Think My Wedding Traditions Are Sexist, Good Thing It's Not Your Wedding

If you don't like these traditions, you don't have to honor them on your big day.

1898
You Might Think My Wedding Traditions Are Sexist, Good Thing It's Not Your Wedding
Unsplash

Every girl looks forward to her wedding day. Plain and simple.

Recently, this article surfaced: "6 Marriage Traditions That Are Fundamentally Sexist." While I respect the writer's opinions and think the writing is top-notch, I completely disagree with the allegations against the wedding traditions mentioned.

In the article, the writer claims there are six "fundamentally sexist" wedding traditions that so many of us celebrate. These "sexist" traditions include the following: grooms asking the father for permission, fathers "giving away" the bride, the bride walking down the aisle, the bride wearing a white dress, women taking the man's last name, and the groom kissing the bride.

When discussed in 21st-century contexts, these traditions are not fundamentally sexist. Instead, they are fundamentally respectful. Sure, they may seem a bit outdated, but tradition and chivalry are not bad sentiments. I'll admit it: I'm a bit old-school and enjoy tradition very much.

But, I'm also very independent and very capable of taking care of myself. In my humble opinion, these six traditions are symbols of exciting new beginnings, strong trust, and unconditional love.

And here's why:

1. Asking the father for permission his blessing.

First of all, in the 21st century, a groom asks the father for his blessing, not necessarily his permission.

I don't know about y'all, but I want my future husband to ask for my father's blessing.

Sure, his palms will be sweating and his voice will be shaking and he'll feel nervous as hell, but I believe asking for the father's blessing is the ultimate demonstration of respect. The groom is honoring the family that raised his future wife. He is allowing them to be a part of his plans to marry their daughter. He is asking for their trust and unconditional love.

He is being respectful.

Also, if the future groom is asking the bride's father, or family, for their blessing, it's almost guaranteed he's mentioned his plans to his own parents. When the groom gets down on one knee, it represents the blessings both families have offered. This tradition is OK.

2. The father "giving away" his daughter.

The words "giving away" do seem a bit ridiculous. I know.

For many women, however, their father is their first love, their best friend, their partner in crime, and their biggest fan. When a woman meets the man of her dreams, he becomes the love of her life, her new best friend, her new partner in crime, and her new biggest fan.

When the father walks his daughter down the aisle, for me, it symbolizes the trust he has in her daughter and in his future son-in-law to create a healthy, happy, and lasting marriage. Many fathers and mothers give their daughter away as well.

I believe this tradition is a beautiful, grand display of love and respect.

3. The bride walking down the aisle.

The writer claims that the bride walking down the aisle "puts the man on the pedestal" and "creates a disproportionate amount of power from the very beginning of [the] marriage."

WOW. Let's not completely bash tradition. Geez.

First of all, this is the bride's time to shine. The guests stand for her entrance and watch her as she walks to the love of her life. Often times, the guests will also look at the groom. In my opinion, the groom and the bride are both on a pedestal; on the same pedestal.They are both showing their desire to become one. They are both displaying their love.

As for the "disproportionate amount of power" part, it just seems a bit nitpicky and doesn't at all symbolize what is really happening. Again, the bride and the groom are displaying their desire to become one. This tradition displays unification and love.

4. White dress.

In the 21st century, I think we can all agree that it's socially acceptable to wear white on our wedding day, even if you aren't a virgin. Why? Because white symbolizes more than just "purity."

White symbolizes innocence, new beginnings, and a fresh slate. Most brides wear white to represent the clean, purified slate her and her groom now have, the new journey her and her groom are embarking upon, and the exciting infancy of their newfound marriage.

5. Taking the man's last name.

I can definitely see why women argue that this tradition is sexist. Why does the woman have to take the man's last name? I get it.

Many women, however, love the idea of taking their groom's last name. It's a symbol, once again, of unification. It also represents that the bride and groom are now a family. If women wanted to, they could keep their last name, choose to hyphenate, or ask the man to take her last name. At the end of the day, it's the woman's choice.

6. "You may now kiss the bride."

The writer writes, "Just, no. This implies the power is in the hands of the man for their first kiss as a married couple."

This one just seems like a stretch. The kiss is consensual. It's the beautiful beginning of a beautiful marriage. Plain and simple.


It's okay to not like or want to celebrate these wedding traditions. It's okay to think they're sexist. That's your perspective and I respect it. Just respect everyone else's preferences and perspectives, too. Don't imply that people are sexist, simply because they do honor these traditions.

I personally feel as though these six traditions, when celebrated in 21st-century contexts, are demonstrations of respect and love.

And I can't wait to celebrate them and enjoy them on my wedding day.

Report this Content
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53795
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34631
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957052
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181734
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments