Every girl looks forward to her wedding day. Plain and simple.
Recently, this article surfaced: "6 Marriage Traditions That Are Fundamentally Sexist." While I respect the writer's opinions and think the writing is top-notch, I completely disagree with the allegations against the wedding traditions mentioned.
In the article, the writer claims there are six "fundamentally sexist" wedding traditions that so many of us celebrate. These "sexist" traditions include the following: grooms asking the father for permission, fathers "giving away" the bride, the bride walking down the aisle, the bride wearing a white dress, women taking the man's last name, and the groom kissing the bride.
When discussed in 21st-century contexts, these traditions are not fundamentally sexist. Instead, they are fundamentally respectful. Sure, they may seem a bit outdated, but tradition and chivalry are not bad sentiments. I'll admit it: I'm a bit old-school and enjoy tradition very much.
But, I'm also very independent and very capable of taking care of myself. In my humble opinion, these six traditions are symbols of exciting new beginnings, strong trust, and unconditional love.
And here's why:
1. Asking the father for permission his blessing.
First of all, in the 21st century, a groom asks the father for his blessing, not necessarily his permission.
I don't know about y'all, but I want my future husband to ask for my father's blessing.
Sure, his palms will be sweating and his voice will be shaking and he'll feel nervous as hell, but I believe asking for the father's blessing is the ultimate demonstration of respect. The groom is honoring the family that raised his future wife. He is allowing them to be a part of his plans to marry their daughter. He is asking for their trust and unconditional love.
He is being respectful.
Also, if the future groom is asking the bride's father, or family, for their blessing, it's almost guaranteed he's mentioned his plans to his own parents. When the groom gets down on one knee, it represents the blessings both families have offered. This tradition is OK.
2. The father "giving away" his daughter.
The words "giving away" do seem a bit ridiculous. I know.
For many women, however, their father is their first love, their best friend, their partner in crime, and their biggest fan. When a woman meets the man of her dreams, he becomes the love of her life, her new best friend, her new partner in crime, and her new biggest fan.
When the father walks his daughter down the aisle, for me, it symbolizes the trust he has in her daughter and in his future son-in-law to create a healthy, happy, and lasting marriage. Many fathers and mothers give their daughter away as well.
I believe this tradition is a beautiful, grand display of love and respect.
3. The bride walking down the aisle.
The writer claims that the bride walking down the aisle "puts the man on the pedestal" and "creates a disproportionate amount of power from the very beginning of [the] marriage."
WOW. Let's not completely bash tradition. Geez.
First of all, this is the bride's time to shine. The guests stand for her entrance and watch her as she walks to the love of her life. Often times, the guests will also look at the groom. In my opinion, the groom and the bride are both on a pedestal; on the same pedestal.They are both showing their desire to become one. They are both displaying their love.
As for the "disproportionate amount of power" part, it just seems a bit nitpicky and doesn't at all symbolize what is really happening. Again, the bride and the groom are displaying their desire to become one. This tradition displays unification and love.
4. White dress.
In the 21st century, I think we can all agree that it's socially acceptable to wear white on our wedding day, even if you aren't a virgin. Why? Because white symbolizes more than just "purity."
White symbolizes innocence, new beginnings, and a fresh slate. Most brides wear white to represent the clean, purified slate her and her groom now have, the new journey her and her groom are embarking upon, and the exciting infancy of their newfound marriage.
5. Taking the man's last name.
I can definitely see why women argue that this tradition is sexist. Why does the woman have to take the man's last name? I get it.
Many women, however, love the idea of taking their groom's last name. It's a symbol, once again, of unification. It also represents that the bride and groom are now a family. If women wanted to, they could keep their last name, choose to hyphenate, or ask the man to take her last name. At the end of the day, it's the woman's choice.
6. "You may now kiss the bride."
The writer writes, "Just, no. This implies the power is in the hands of the man for their first kiss as a married couple."
This one just seems like a stretch. The kiss is consensual. It's the beautiful beginning of a beautiful marriage. Plain and simple.
It's okay to not like or want to celebrate these wedding traditions. It's okay to think they're sexist. That's your perspective and I respect it. Just respect everyone else's preferences and perspectives, too. Don't imply that people are sexist, simply because they do honor these traditions.
I personally feel as though these six traditions, when celebrated in 21st-century contexts, are demonstrations of respect and love.
And I can't wait to celebrate them and enjoy them on my wedding day.