What is being in love really like? I've never been in love. Although, I think I've come close and have an idea of what it's like.
Those who have never been in love ask this and ponder this, spending those restless 2 a.m. warm summer nights wondering when it's their turn to find it. Love. The mysterious, vapid, and evasive being that skips out on us when we want it most.
When I think of love I think of rebirth. In finding love, we find ourselves in a new light. You find that who you thought you'd love isn't who you're with now, they're everything you didn't know you wanted and realized you needed.
Being in love should be like floating on a cloud of feathers in a clear blue sky with a light breeze teasing your hair. No sounds but the laughter in your heart and the smile in your eyes when you realize nothing can get much better than this. Life isn't so shabby. Those dark rainy days are losing their luster; you're always sunny no matter what comes your way. Why are some people so frightened of something that appears so beautiful?
We love the way we want to be loved. I think we see what others get, and what we wish we had, and mold it into our perception of what we want from someone who loves us. Love isn't universal, we all give it differently, and receive it differently too. Some don't ever see just how lucky they are until they've lost the shine to their sun. Others hide behind clouds, in fear of their shine not being returned by the sun that rules their universe.
Storm clouds come rolling in when we least expect them. A slip-up, new information of a hidden secret, or a lack of trust that crushes you more than anything. Does love really conquer all? I don't think so. The strongest bonds can be shaken by unforgivable acts. I for one can forgive but never forget, and that would be the demise of any relationship.
I've seen a love so toxic in people that I don't get how it's love. Controlling, manipulative and psychopathic maybe, but not love. I see love as a freedom. You can be yourself, desired for who you are inside, with the outside as a pretty great bonus. Love someone for the right reasons, the little things as much as the big things. You love her when she laughs and cries and sneezes four times, and she loves you when you brush your hand through your hair and always listen to her stories, no matter how much she tells them.
We do know what love isn't but we won't know what it truly is until we fall in love. That day can come tomorrow or a month or even a year from now. I know the real deal is worth waiting for. Self-love leads to true love, work on yourself before letting someone else in on the construction process.
When I fall in love, I hope I fall hard with a good head on my shoulders. I know what a real relationship looks like and I know what plenty of horrible ones are like too. The journey to love is one I look forward to one day, so I can write about how falling in love really does feel. I want to find the sun to my shine.