No Nut November Only Makes Sense If You Have A Tree Nut Allergy, Idiots

No Nut November Only Makes Sense If You Have A Tree Nut Allergy, Idiots

No one's testosterone will be benefited. No gains will be made. No spiritual enlightenment will be found at the end of the month.

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Forget No Shave November which brings awareness to prostate cancer and other male-oriented issues, No Nut November supposedly is the more masculine alternative that somehow is supposed to prove one's control and machismo.

But, unlike the month-long journey devoted to a good cause, No Nut November is simply nutty, especially since, ironically, "masturbating helps reduce the chance of prostate cancer."

According to Urban Dictionary, the ridiculous rules to No Nut November generally state that you must abstain from sex or masturbation in any shape or form (yet some players do have sex with their partner). However, watching pornography and getting hard are allowed, but you can't cum. Moreover, only one wet dream is permitted and you've only got one chance to succeed. Good luck, and if you triumph with zero busts, you qualify for Destroy Dick December.

And all along I thought May was National Masturbation Month.




Masturbation is not only pleasurable but healthy and quite common for men of all ages. According to FiveThirtyEight, "when men in their 30s were asked whether they had masturbated alone at any point in their life, 93.4 percent said yes." This shouldn't be shocking. As we lose the stigma around sex and sexuality, masturbation must be included. It's normal and no sexually viable man needs to deprive himself of this orgasmic diversion during the month of November. It just doesn't make sense.

Also, to the husbands, fiances, boyfriends, fuck buddies, and one-night standers, don't take away your D from the girls!


Guys, you aren't proving your masculinity to anyone. I get it, you're just having fun with your friends, challenging one another, and goofing around, but, I mean, really? This is the most senseless behavior to prove any sort of virility. Masturbation doesn't need to take a holiday. If anything, you should be wanking off more often to represent your robustness. I speak for many other girls when I claim that if anyone of us woke up with a penis, we'd be giving ourselves self-love all day. Be your own best friend and do it for all the jealous girls who wish it was just as easy for them to blow.

Listen, I am no one to tell you when you can entertain your own sexual activities, but I just want to share the idea that cheating yourself of euphoria isn't necessary to boost your testosterone for any advantage.

No, this is not the greatest test of willpower.

I have no personal experience that abstaining from masturbation "clears your mind" and helps with concentration as you "do things you never thought possible," but let's recognize that as hilarious as the memes are, you won't gain any magical powers. I'm sure this challenge requires a great deal of mind control, but this can be accomplished in more practical ways.

I mean, really?

No one's testosterone will be benefited. No gains will be made. No spiritual enlightenment will be found at the end of the month.

If that doesn't persuade you that No Nut November is useless, acknowledge that in our sex-phobic culture we don't need any more societal behaviors that shame the healthy, instinctive act of sex.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hello, I'm 24, And Yes, I'm A Virgin — And Yes, I'll Answer All Of Your Redundant Questions At Once

You read that correctly.

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"What? Are you serious?"

"Wait a minute, there is no way you are telling me the truth."

"How are you still a virgin? Are you religious? Are you waiting for marriage? Why haven't you had sex yet? That's just so crazy..."

Welcome to my world.

First, let me introduce myself again. Hi there, my name is Reanna, I'm a 24-year-old writer and also a virgin, how do you do? The first thing in that sentence is the V word, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that isn't something I start going and telling people, trust me it's the last thing I want to do. I get bombarded with almost every single question up above and I hate answering it every time. The only time I decide to share it is if someone asks me something along the lines of sex or when I can't offer my opinion.

It's a little-known fact that I tend to hide from people but not anymore. Let the world know, is it's any of their business but guess what? I'm not the only one out there. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. What bothers me most is when people start questioning it and looking at me like I'm crazy.

Fine, I'll answer your simple questions above.

Yes, I said I was a virgin. Yes, again, I'm dead serious. I'm telling you the truth, why lie? I'm still a virgin because I choose to be. No, I'm not religious. I don't want to ever get married so I'm not waiting for marriage. Again, I just haven't found the guy to have sex with and it is still my choice. Think it's crazy, just don't judge me.

Sex is sex, what's the big problem here?

If I choose not to sleep with a guy, I have the right to it. I have the right to be a virgin until I decide it is the best time not to be anymore. I already know I shocked you by the title but why should you be so shocked? Is it because most people lose their virginity in high school? Is it usually to their first boyfriend?

Nothing separates me from you.

You don't need to laugh or really comment on the sentence. If I'm a virgin, I'm a virgin. If you are not, then you're not. If you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange situation to be in when people look at you like you are an alien from a different planet. People get so surprised as if you just said you came from Mars.

Maybe this is my experience but I'm in no rush to have sex.

There comes a day when it may happen but I'm not rushing to find the one so to speak. Until then, I'm glad this is off my chest and I'm glad for you to know that. You know why? Because any guy you tell that to is desperate to change your mind, trust me. If you can't respect it, why should I be the one you sleep with?

So guys here is a complete tip: If a girl tells you she is a virgin, don't act so shocked, don't act so surprised.

Nod your head, respect the choice and move on. It's as simple as that.

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What It's Like Being A 20-Year-Old Virgin In The 21st Century

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.
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Sex. The topic we only spoke of in hushed tones in the past has quickly become a part of our everyday interactions. It seems to be the center of our motivations, thoughts, actions, and feelings. This is the reason I don't feel uncomfortable dedicating this week's article to the subject. Now, mom and dad, if you're reading this, I won't be offended if you stop. I'd actually be quite happy. Everybody else, do me a favor and ask yourself this:

What does it mean to be a virgin in today's society?

There is a social stigma associated with being a virgin. We're all prudes, are mega-religious, and have never even thought about what it would be like to share a night with Ryan Gosling. Right? Wrong. I promise you the majority of virgins you'll meet are virgins by choice - not because their moms have them chained to a metal post with their legs strapped shut. I've been racking my brain about questions and concerns and the million-dollar-question I have for y'all is: If it's no big deal to have sex, then why is it a big deal not to have sex? I mean really, whose business is it anyway?

I feel the criticism from my own doctor at times. She'd ask, "Are you sexually active?" I'd respond with a lightening fast "No", which she'd follow with a quick sigh and an even quicker response, "Have you ever been sexually active?" Unreal.

In a culture so consumed by "Netflix and chill" and the infamous right swipe, it's hard not to constantly wonder when (and with who) my time will come. It's almost like we're racing against the clock of chastity. I wonder if Marie Curie, Rosa Parks, or Amelia Earhart worried about who'd swipe their V-card as much as I do? Probably not, they were too busy making the world a better place.

I can't go a day without hearing about sex, talking about sex, or honestly... thinking about sex (sorry, dad). I remember a time when it was "shocking" to discover anybody was having sex and now it's "shocking" to discover anybody isn't. The reactions I get when people discover I still hold the key to my innocence aren't only mildly insulting but sad. When did it become shameful to be a virgin? I'm only 20 years old. I've only lived 1/4 of my life and in no means do I feel rushed to get down and dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't plan for my life to go this way. Shocker, but my Magic 8-Ball didn't prepare me for this. I am a huge supporter of doing what you want, when you want, and with whom you want to do it with. Hell, half of my friends aren't virgins and I'm happy for them. They were with someone they loved (or at least liked) and made a choice. I've made a choice too. I am evolving with the world around me and taking life one wine bottle at a time. I don't want to settle for less than I deserve. I want somebody who loves me, respects me, and understands where I'm coming from.

I'm prepared to deal with the douchebags and the nobody losers who can't deal with the decision I've made equally as much as I'm prepared to meet the guy who can.

For now, I wait. And that is perfectly okay.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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