How College Kids Are Keeping Romance Alive In The Face Of Hookup Culture In 2019

How College Kids Are Keeping Romance Alive In The Face Of Hookup Culture In 2019

I asked 20 people what romance was to them and here are their answers.

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In this day and age, romance seems like a foreign concept to many of us. What is exactly romance now? Do we still have that idyllic picture in our heads of milkshakes and burgers at the local diner or the movie drive-in date? Or has romance somehow evolved into something more? Is it just about dating now or is it more about the person you're choosing to date? I asked 20 people what romance was to them and here are their answers.

1. "A best friend."

2. "Someone knowing what you like and doing stuff just because they care for you."

3. "A fling with a frat boy."

4. "Doing something thoughtful for someone or when your significant other does something for you that is customized or personal to you for what you like or are interested in."

5. "Truly feeling loved and being comfortable with your significant other."

6. "Farting in front of each other."

7. "Understanding your love language and acting on it."

8. "When they give you the last of their fries. Or when they know your Chipotle order by heart and bring it to you."

9. "When my boyfriend started squeezing my hand three times after I showed him "New Year's Day" by Taylor Swift...

Basically, it means he's here for the long road."

10. "Romance can't be forced. It's something that doesn't necessarily happen when you're in love, but at least when you're well on the way...

For me, it's the culmination of wanting to make the person I'm with truly feel as special as I possibly can. Stripping away all the arguments, the bickering, and insecurities between us and getting lost in that other person."

11. "Hmm well, I think it is different for everyone. But to me, it is being made to feel special. I want to go out on a date. It doesn't have to be fancy, but something that lets you have quality time and focus on each other...

I want to know that I'm important for me to be in their life. I really like the little things, so when I was dating my ex, I always wished that just once he would make me dinner for when I got home from work or would help me with something without making me feel guilty for asking for the help. Bringing home flowers or something small just show to that I was thought about."

12. "On the surface, I think of romantic acts and things. Jane Austin novels, a cabin in the woods with a cozy fire, chocolate of course!

But as I think more about it, I think romance is that giddy feeling you get when you're so excited to talk to someone or to interact with them."

13. "To me, romance means being physically, emotionally and mentally connected with someone."

14. "I think being able to connect both mentally and physically. You can't just have one and expect something that lasts. 

Romance is sitting on your couch with someone, talking about anything and everything and realizing how much you love to hear what they say, how they say it and also understand it. You don't need the dark lit restaurant and the perfect slow music, you need the connection with someone-no matter the location."

15. "Romance is being able to have fun with another person without having to worry or concern over anything else...

For example, I always talk about how much I love my 'island husband' because when we go on trips, he and I forget work and everything we would normally be stressed about and we are able to truly have fun with each other."

16. "Romance to me is when another person shows through efforts that you are the most important person in their life in that moment. They make you feel feel special, secure and honestly, high on life...

If I'm thinking about the relationship with my future husband, I would include that they would be my best friend and that there is a connection on a deeper level than any other. Our souls were meant to meet."

17. "Romance to me is putting the other person first, and being selfless. Their happiness is your happiness."

18. "I think there are many forms of romance, but I am the most in love with my boyfriend when he loves me despite all my flaws. When he makes me feel important when I don't even feel deserving of it...

I think that love is putting effort to be together and make special moments in the time you get to see each other."

19. "Hmmm, this makes me think. I'd say romance to me is remembering the little things and always being able to have fun and laugh with your person!"

20. "Romance is doing things to make your significant other extremely happy just because you want to see them smile like a goon."

Everyone is different in their opinions of what romance is to them. We each desire different things, but overall we all desire to be with the person that makes us happiest of all. We each have our own individual ways of saying "I love you" and that is the greatest part of love.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

My Boyfriend Is Deaf, But He's Still A Great Listener

This is what dating my deaf boyfriend has taught me.

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I have heard countless complaints over the years resembling the statement, "My boyfriend is a terrible listener."

Women say this simply to describe how irritating it is when their boyfriends zone out as they are talking about their day or when they simply stare off into space as they try and ask whether they wanna order pizza or Chinese. They may use phrases such as "selective hearing" or compare the likeness of talking to their boyfriend to "talking to a wall."

I must say that I can relate to these women but in a much different way.

My boyfriend is deaf.

I have to say that my boyfriend's deafness has never once been a roadblock for me. If anything, it made me more interested in him. I had zero experience when it came to his deafness. I had many misconceptions of his hearing ability in the beginning. But, overall, it was something that just increased my interest in this kind-hearted, goofy guy. As I started to date this person that sometimes can't help but not listen to me, I realized that his deafness had zero effect on how much I cared for him and how well we worked together.

Unlike some other members of the deaf community, my boyfriend has two cochlear implants. Fun fact: cochlear implants are actually frowned upon throughout the deaf community a lot of times. They are said to remove the individuality that comes with the deaf community and its members. However, and I will admit I am biased, I do not agree and neither does my boyfriend. Cochlear implants assist him in living his life, but that does not mean that every deaf person needs or wants them to live theirs—which is OK. They benefit this person that is very important to me, and that is all that matters in my mind.

While all cases of deafness and implant-users are unique to the individual, my boyfriend had his first implant surgery when he was just 2-years-old. Then, his second when he was 10. I knew cochlear implants existed before I met him, but I had no idea how they worked, which was soon very apparent to myself and him.

Gabby Sheets

So, basically in the simplest terms possible, there are two magnetic receivers implanted in his skull. Then, there is the outer part that holds a circular magnet, a transmitter, and a microphone that magnetizes through his skull and to his actual implant. This, somehow, gives him the ability to hear, and to be fully honest I do not understand how they work. I probably never will. All I know is that he can hear me, which I did not know would necessarily be the case when we first met...

Gabby Sheets

When we first started going out with each other, I definitely had many misconceptions about my boyfriend's hearing, misconceptions that he will tease me about to this day. For example, I thought that I had to look directly at him whenever I spoke. My mistaken logic was that he would have to read my lips in order to understand me. False. Wrong. His implants allow him to hear exactly what I am saying the majority of the time, depending on if he actually is paying attention and how loud I am talking. He can, however, read lips though, which he has to do any time he is not wearing his implants, or like when I knock them out of his head on accident... Woops.

I also, at first, had this hilarious belief that he wouldn't be able to talk to me on the phone. I thought this even after I knew he could hear me in person with practically zero difficulties. It wasn't until he was over at my place visiting me, and I came out of my room to see that he was talking to his mom. On the phone. Because he can, perfectly well. To this day, I cannot explain why I thought he wouldn't be able to speak on the phone. It was my stupid, stupid mistake, and my boyfriend still finds my naivete when it came to his hearing oh so amusing.

All of this comes to show that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I have confessed to my boyfriend that I was self-conscious at times, simply because I didn't understand. I was terrified to ask the wrong questions and upset him, but then I came to find out that he makes deaf jokes that make me cringe, not him. I was afraid of yanking one of his implants out of his head on accident. I have multiple times now, and it has never once been a big deal. I was self-conscious about hitting a nerve, about something that not only impairs his hearing but his life as a whole.

There was one night, at the beginning of our relationship, where we just sat asking each other questions as new couples commonly do. The question was, "What is your biggest insecurity?"

His answer was his hearing. My answer was my body.

I discovered that there are always times where he will feel insecure because he isn't able to hear like everyone else. However, I love the fact that he isn't like everyone else. I sincerely hope that he realizes that.

But no, I will never be able to truly understand what it is like to be deaf, to have this life-changing impairment, and that's OK.

What I do know is that by dating my boyfriend I have learned this—everybody is insecure about something. Some are insecure about something as superficial as their looks like I am. Then some are insecure about something that affects their entire life, such as my boyfriend with his hearing. It has occurred to me that if my boyfriend can overcome something as life-altering as his deafness then I can overcome body insecurity and many other obstacles in my life now, thanks to him.

I have never met a guy as willing to listen to me and my minuscule problems as my boyfriend. I have never experienced problems in my life as severe as his deafness, but he always makes my problems, thoughts, insecurities, etc. feel validated. He is understanding and considerate. He is reassuring and has a heart of gold, and I continue to be amazed by him each day that we spend together.

So, yes, my boyfriend is deaf, but he most definitely is not a terrible listener. Not at all.

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The 7 Best Restaurants For Valentine's Day Dates In Springfield, Missouri

No matter what you and your date are feeling, the Queen City has something for you.

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Love may be in the air, but so are the smells of some delicious restaurants. Springfield, Missouri is a place I have been lucky to call home for the past three years. And it's full of restaurants of all varieties, perfect for any Valentine—even the pickiest of eaters.

From casual dining to the finer side, Springfield has what you're looking for. By knowing some options besides Olive Garden, you can add a little variety to your dining experience and ensure a happy and romantic evening.

Take a look, build your appetite, and make your reservations early (if you can) so you can treat your date to the evening they deserve.

1. Aviary Cafe & Creperie

The Aviary Cafe is a Springfield favorite. This restaurant is open late, has a full bar, and serves sweet and savory crepes along with other traditional bistro items. The Aviary allows you to make reservations for Valentine's Day and even has a unique menu specifically for the holiday, which includes a pan-seared pork chop, pommes frites, and New York cheesecake made fresh in the bakery.

2. Flame Steakhouse

Flame is a great place to go for a more upscale and expensive Valentine's Day dinner if you're in the mood to wine and dine your date. Rated three dollar signs our of four on Yelp, this steakhouse and wine bar has everything from Alaskan King Crab legs to fresh flash-fried calamari to a dry aged 24 oz Porterhouse steak. This restaurant will no doubt be packed on Valentine's Day, so be sure to make your reservation as soon as possible.

3. Bambinos Italian Cafe

Bambinos Italian Cafe has some of the best Italian food in the Springfield area. Rated "Best Date-Night Dinner" by Missouri State University's newspaper The Standard in 2017 and Best Italian Dining in 2018 by 417 Magazine, this cafe proves it can back up that claim, too. This quaint Italian restaurant has some of the best food the city has to offer from crab cakes and pasta to tiramisu to some house pastas that are to die for. With vegan options, Bambinos is the place for everyone.

4. Druff's

If you're looking for more casual of a dining experience, look no further. Druff's is known for it's incredibly tasty and different sandwiches and soups. For Valentine's Day, though, things are getting a little spiced up at this downtown hot spot. For just $45, you and your Valentine can experience the magic of Druff's with an appetizer, some sandwiches, soups, and a dessert. Make your reservation now, because it's going to be a busy night on Valentine's Day!

5. Metropolitan Grill

On the more expensive side, Metropolitan Grill is sure to make this Valentine's Day a romantic one. If you and your date come here for your evening, be sure to dress the part that this upscale restaurant expects. From pasta to steak to surf and turf, there's plenty of food to choose from. This fine dining experience is a great way to show your Valentine just how much they mean to you.

6. Nakato Japanese Restaurant

Nakato is a Japanese steakhouse and sushi bar that will leave you and your date wanting to come back again and again. With a full bar and a hibachi grill experience like no other, you can have a great evening with food cooked just the way both you and your Valentine like it. Whether you're a sushi fanatic or experiencing it for the first time, Nakato is sure to provide a fun and interactive Valentine's Day experience.

7. Black Sheep Burgers & Shakes

Who says Valentine's Day needs to be steak and wine? Known for their fun alcoholic shakes and crazy burgers, Black Sheep is also filled with some yummy food. If fine dining isn't your style, relax this Valentine's Day with a nice decadent burger and a shake or beer. You don't have to go all out for Valentine's Day to make it a great one, and Black Sheep's burgers won't disappoint.

From burgers to steaks to grilled cheese, Springfield is known for all kinds of foods. With seemingly unending options for your Valentine's Day date, it's fair to say this list is not at all the only restaurants to consider.

The most important thing to remember is that no matter where you and your Valentine go out to eat, make your date special. With the right person, it doesn't even matter if you're eating at Steak 'N Shake or Applebee's. There's a lot of pressure to make Valentine's Day special and perfect, but as long as you think the person you're with is both of those things, you're set.

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