I asked 52 Women What They Wished Men understood

I asked 52 Women What They Wished Men understood

"Just because I am smiling at you, Brad, does not mean I want to suck your d***."

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I did an article a while back about men saying what they wished they could say to women (and if you have not seen that article, feel free to click the link right HERE to view it), and the results were so intriguing that I decided to do the exact opposite of that article, writing what women wished they could say to men.

The women I asked were offered a bit of a variety of question, so it ended up being more of a "What do you wish you could say to men/what do you wish men knew/ what do you wish men understood." Regardless, I ended up with a lot of answers, and a lot of #metoo thoughts.

1. I wish men understood what it’s like to always assume strangers have ulterior motives when they talk to you, and always have your guard up.

2. If I am frustrated or stressed or tired, don’t assume that ‘a good roll in the hay’ is going to solve my frustration/stress/tiredness.

3. Why do you have to be so awful? #patriarchy

4. Go see a therapist. Women aren’t things that you can take your issues out on. Be healthy and talk to a professional.

5. Not everything is about your dick.

6. Treat women as your equal and stand up to your guy friends when they are being disrespectful towards women. Women everywhere will thank you for respecting them enough to call out other people’s BS.

7. I wish men understood that they are NOT entitled to my time or attention.

8. I wish men understood that when I say I’m a feminist, that doesn’t mean i think women are better. Being a feminist means I want men and women to be held equally!

9. Men need to take more responsibility for themselves and their actions. In my experience men will not only get away with harmful behavior, but aren't expected to accept that they've done something wrong or be willing to change their behavior.

10. I wish men understood the concept of male privilege; For example, I won’t run outside at night because I’m worried I’ll be attacked. But men don’t have that worry. Or I don’t drink alcohol at parties because I’m worried that someone will slip something into my drink because I’m a female and they feel entitled to me.

11. I wish men understood that us (women, that is) being polite and nice to them is not flirting. Which means that just because I'm smiling at you, Brad, does not mean I want to suck your dick. Maybe I'm just trying to buy something at the convenience store, dude.

12. Women don’t get their hair and nails done for men to notice. Men should know we do those things for us to feel good! Self pampering! Not about men to notice, because they don’t!

13. We don’t always have to meet up perfectly to your standards.

14. I am more than my body, so stop ogling it when I am trying to have a conversation with you.

15. One bad boyfriend has ruined my thoughts about romance. I don’t mean to take it out on you, other men. I just don’t have the natural trust I used to in people.

16. Women always find out the truth. Always.

17. As a whole, you’re all perverted pieces of shit.

18. No means no.

19. I don’t want to have to act like the bitch who could knock your ass out just to be treated with professional courtesy. But if it comes to that, I WILL be the bitch who knocks your ass out.

20. A good massage from my boyfriend can fix anything. (I’ve never had a boyfriend give me a massage before).

21. I wish [men] went on a date with me or got to know me before not talking to me again.

22. Don’t only talk to me when you want attention.

23. You’re never going to know what I’m like or who i could be to you if you never make an effort to even get to know me.

24. Women evaluate everything. Even the tiny things make our minds conjure up millions of perceptions of one thing.

25. Life as a woman is challenging as it is, so just mean what you say and say what you mean to save us some stress.

26. I wish men understood BASIC CONSENT. Just ‘cause I didn’t scream or slap you in the face doesn’t mean what you’re doing is okay.

27. Don’t continue to do something if I say no or back away. If I am backing away and taking your hand off me, I mean no. Stop trying.

28. I wish both men and women received an adequate sex education. I wish men knew that women do not pee out of their vagina and understand that women can have multiple orgasms. I wish men knew how to find the clitoris.

29. Never ask a woman is she is pregnant, on her period, PMSing, or on the rag. It’s none of your business is we are, and until you can bleed from your vagina, birth a child from your body, or feel menstrual cramps, you have no right to judge.

30. [Men] occupy a space in privilege every single day.

31. Even with the current mood being ‘men are bad,’ they are in fact not. They are awesome.

32. I wish men knew about proper parenting techniques and healthy ways of expressing emotion and how to take care of the spaces in which they live, because they f***ing live there.

33. When a female dresses nice/does her makeup, it is not for a man. It is for herself.

34. Women are capable of just as much as men are and do not need men to accomplish their goals.

35. I wish men knew about the dangers of HPV and STIs that don’t have presenting symptoms.

36. I wish men knew about the wage gap and how it is exacerbated by the intersectionality of being a person of color.

37. I wish men knew that we don’t all think they’re bad. I get the feeling that they think women think they’re terrible, but not all men are terrible. There are some decent ones out there.

38. I wish men knew that when they ‘compliment’ random women as they pass by, we don’t feel complimented. WE FEEL AFRAID.

39. I wish I could be brutally honest with men. I feel like sometimes women have to be careful what they say to men to protect their egos and it’s incredibly frustrating.

40. I wish men understood how threatening and intimidating they can be to women. Sometimes they don’t mean to be, but it very easily comes across that way.

41. When girls say “I’m fine” or “I don’t want to talk,” they really are not fine and want to talk.

42. Sometimes when we tell you things, we don't expect or want you to fix it for us. We just want you to listen.

43. Stop just expecting shit..sometimes you need to ASK for it.

44. Look for something for yourself before asking me for it...like asking for where the peanut butter is when you KNOW where we keep it.

45. (From a wife to a husband)- If you see something that needs to be done, do it--don't leave it for me or someone else to do it.

46. Stop touching my boobs or trying to get frisky when you clearly see that I am BUSY…

47. Don’t you ever try and blame my attitude on my period.

PS. And even if I do have an attitude because of my period,I have the right. Cramps and PMS are like the fires at Hibachi inside of me.

48. If I am telling you something don't try to shut me down or invalidate my feelings. I f***ing matter.

49. Don't EVER tell me to calm down when it's YOU that pissed me off in the first place.

50. Stop expecting me to make all the decisions.

51. I'm not your mother. Act like a f***ing man and get yourself together.

52. Respect the safe word.

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Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Hometown Tinder Is Every College Girl's Worst Nightmare When She's Home For The Holidays

It's full of all the boys who made fun of you in high school.

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Ah, the holidays. Three whole weeks where college students pack up their dorm necessities and return back home, to Christmas carols and grandma's famous fudge and some well-deserved rest. However, the holidays also come with quite a bit of extra spare time, and without your college friends three doors down, it can be hard to figure out what to do with yourself. This may lead to quite a few naps and Netflix binges, or if you're anything like me, swiping left and right on Tinder until you're completely out of people around you.

And while I'll whole-heartedly admit that I turn to Tinder over my holiday breaks to cure my boredom, I also know damn well that hometown Tinder is every single college girl's worst nightmare during the holidays. Here's why.

1. All of the boys who made you cry in high school are on it.

Remember when you had the biggest crush on Jake when you were sixteen and he made you cry at the homecoming dance when he wouldn't slow dance with you to "Someone Like You"?

No matter how hard you try to push that memory to the darkest parts of your mind, ten swipes on hometown Tinder will lead you to his picture on your iPhone. And while it may be fun to laugh at how he went from a 8 out of 10 in high school to a 6 out of 10 on a good day now, you don't want to be stuck contemplating whether or not you should swipe right on the boy who ruined your makeup on what should've been a good night.

2. And so are the awkward ones who you never really talked to.

Yeah, you always thought Aaron was cute, but you never struck up a conversation on the bus ride home. Now, you're stuck with a question that could go many ways: do you swipe right or not?

3. Most of the people you're swiping on will never leave your hometown.

Girl, you have goals. You were one of the few people who actually left your hometown and went off to school, and the last place you want to end up when you graduate is back in those hometown streets. Why in the world would you want to end up with someone who never plans on leaving?

Yeah, you may think it's "just Tinder," but truth is, you never know what could happen with the guys you talk to on there.

4. So. Many. Exes.

Your first crush from 5th grade, your senior prom date, your first kiss, the first guy who ever broke your heart...hometown Tinder is stacked FULL of so many of your exes in one place. If you choose to navigate hometown Tinder, well, good luck, sis.

5. You're going to end up doing something you regret.

Whether it's hooking up with a guy you've known since you were in diapers or getting back with your ex, hometown Tinder leads to nothing but bad decisions. Trust me on this.

6. You know people in your hometown run your mouth.

When you're away at school, the only time someone MIGHT talk about your Tinder is if some guy from work or one of your class recognizes you and thinks your bio is witty. When you're back home, however, your Tinder profile is going to be a featured screenshot and every "Saturdays are for the boys" group chat within a 15-mile radius. People are going to run their mouth about you even having a Tinder and they'll tear apart all your pictures and your bio. Yeah, it's shitty, but isn't that expected?

7. You're forced to lower your standards.

Let's be real for a second: the guys on hometown Tinder simply just aren't as cute as the boys you're swiping right on like crazy back at school. If you want a hometown hookup or even just someone to entertain you with conversation while you're bored binge-watching "Friends" for the fifth time, odds are you're going to have to lower your standards a bit.

8. One wrong swipe and you've ruined your holiday season.

Y'all, these are the holidays we're talking about. Three weeks to rest and recharge. Time to enjoy family and friends and the joy that comes with the holidays. You don't want to be stuck upset or annoyed or pissed at some rando and whatever they said to you on an app. Maybe, no matter how bored you get, it's best you let things settle for a bit and stay far away...

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8 New Year's Resolutions That Every Single College Girl Should Make In 2019

This is your year.

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Despite what you have probably been repeatedly preached, starting off the new year single doesn't suck. You may not have a definite New Year's Eve kiss, but you have plenty of opportunities to improve yourself and succeed in your goals, without the obligations of a relationship holding you down.

1. Dedicate more time to your friends.

When you're in a relationship, friendships can fall to the back burner. Single life is the perfect opportunity to invest more time in your friendships. Whether it's staying in or going out, organizing a wine night or a study session, make your friends a priority this year.

2. Have more confidence with guys and dating.

Text a crush from class first. Don't be afraid to leave a situation that doesn't feel right, of losing a date out of fear that you won't get another. Even if you get turned down, deal with confrontation, or remain single for a while, things will work out.

3. Break a bad habit.

The "New Year, New Me" mentality can often be daunting (and very ridiculous). The reality is, you are still you, faults and all. But making a goal to change one thing that's been holding you back can be helpful. Maybe this is going out for more, or procrastinating on studying, or a personal thing you really want to change, for yourself.

4. Improve your study and work habits.

This is the year to succeed in academics and career. Don't let procrastination and laziness hold you back. Get organized and get your goals accomplished.

5. Go on dates.

Don't make your goal to get into a relationship. But being single doesn't mean locking yourself off from possibilities. Get to know different people and options. Whether this is simply casual, disastrous, or has the potential to develop into more, don't try to force anything, and remember that everything is a learning experience.

6. Learn a new skill (or improve an old one).

When you're single, your schedule is yours. Why not take the opportunity to learn a new skill or hone in an old one that you've abandoned? It doesn't have to be a huge conquest that feels impossible. Take painting or cooking classes. Dedicate time every day to learn a new language.

7. Don't be afraid to try some new styles.

Get some bold lipstick, spice up your wardrobe, take some style risks.

8. Treat yourself.

Whether this means taking yourself out to dinner once in a while or having a face mask and Sex and the City marathon night, invest time in giving yourself the treatment you deserve.

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