My Boyfriend Has ADD But It Only Makes Me Love Him More
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My Boyfriend Has ADD But It Only Makes Me Love Him More

“He starts this project then jumps to another before the first one is even done, it’s exhausting...”

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My Boyfriend Has ADD But It Only Makes Me Love Him More
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Up until my current boyfriend, I have never dated anyone with ADD before, and I can say I 100 percent underestimated the amount of patience it actually requires.

Now, with or without ADD my boyfriend is my very best friend and biggest supporter—no amount of time spent with him is ever enough for me, and though some feelings may seem harsh, I truly wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t ultimately worth something so much more to me in the end.

I will continue to put up with every new idea and spontaneous decision because I freaking love this kid, and part of his indecisiveness is a big reason as to why that love is so strong.

Many people say they have ADD or someone they love has ADD, but until you’re actually tested and diagnosed, you're just another person with a “hunch." My boyfriend was diagnosed with ADD several years ago, and though it wasn’t exactly a surprise to him or his family, it was still somewhat comforting to be like, "yeah that explains a lot.”

So going into this relationship I had everyone and their freaking mother try warning me that it was going to be a constant battle of finishing activities.

“He starts this project then jumps to another before the first one is even done, it’s exhausting...”

Yes, they weren’t lying.


My sweetheart sure is exhausting. He is always telling me about a new idea he has, and before I'm able to tell him how great I think it is, he’s rambling about the one he’ll do after that...

And after that...

Annnnd after that.


I’ve learned to expect it, and he’s learned that I expect it, so together we kind of enjoy each others' ability to listen and talk.

There was a time period where we got real into a certain TV show, and though he enjoys TV, he doesn’t get as emotionally invested as I do. I put my freaking heart and soul into those characters and when someone I love dies, I spend a period of time going through the normal grieving stages. He just isn’t the same.

In fact, it’s hard to get him to sit still long enough to finish one damn show. So forget binge watching anything when you're with someone who has ADD because unless your binge-watching consists of only a half hour (and that’s pushing it my friend) then you’re kinda screwed. He ACTUALLY had the audacity to get mad at me once because I finished a show that we enjoyed, without him.


To which I responded, “I can’t watch four seasons of a show in a six-month timespan Ethan, I just can’t.”


We’ve learned over time (because trust me when I say you start to learn what’s doable for your relationship when the other person has ADD) that watching shows together isn’t exactly for us unless we are following one that comes on once every week.

Because he can’t sit still and I can’t possibly not click on the next episode when it leaves off with such a perfect cliffhanger.


Now I think what we struggle with the most is him paying attention to me when I’m explaining a detailed story. Because like my mama always taught me, details are an important part of the story and as I’m getting older I realize why that’s so true. When Ethan zones out in the middle of my story, then I get to the end (which is normally always good because my stories are just awesome) he then becomes interested and is so confused as to how the ending could have possibly happened.


"If you would’ve paid the EFF attention through the whole thing, you’d know exactly why this story made sense and how it happened but instead you were too fixated on the fact that you forgot to fix the microwave door and how you need to add that to your 'to-do list.'"


Ah, life.


They sure make it unique though, I will say that.

I’m never bored with him. He always has some off the wall story to tell me, and with as hard to believe as it may seem, I can’t tell you it’s not enjoyable to listen to—even if it does go in 70 different directions in a matter of 30 seconds.


He’s worth every confusing face I have to make.

Every reiterated line.

Every zillion tasks we do together.

They’re all freaking worth it.

Because loving someone with ADD is like going on a roller coaster ride that never slows down. It takes time to adjust, but the whole ride is ultimately one giant high and I’ve learned that I don’t want to live any other kind of life.


Everyday is a new adventure, and a new morning where I wake up and say to myself, “I wonder what today will be like.” And then you start to wonder how you went your whole life loving anyone who doesn’t have ADD because you realize just how fun it is not knowing, and how much you love the mystery to each day. It makes each one an adventure and I know I’ll never tire of it. You really can’t.


How can you be tired of something you don’t expect?


How can you possibly tire of a person that willingly gives you something new to love every day?


Sure maybe I have to snap my fingers at him to come back to reality every now and again, and yes maybe I have to ask, “are you listening to me or are you thinking about something else?" one too many times, but it really is worth it to me. As long as I can continue to live out this adventurous, “tired of this so this is something new," wonderful, hectic lifestyle, then I’ll take it.


Loving someone with ADD is actually hard sometimes, but for the people watching, it’s also kind of entertaining, and who doesn’t want to be entertained?


Even more, who doesn’t want to be entertained by someone they love with their whole heart?


Okay, well that’s enough from me—I promised my boyfriend we could make a list of things to do over the next week and you’ll never believe this but I guess he’s tired of what we’ve been doing and wants to change it up.

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