11 Thoughts You Have When 'That Guy' Slides Into Your DMs

11 Thoughts You Have When 'That Guy' Slides Into Your DMs

Please, just don't.

Ladies, we've all been there. You see "that name" pop up on your screen and you groan and/or roll your eyes before politely unlocking your phone and replying with something like, "Oh, hey, what's up?"

Here are 11 thoughts you have when 'that guy' slides into your DMs.

1. WHY ME, WHY?!?

There are like how many other females in the world, why'd you land on me? Huh? Tell me that.

2. OK, be nice, be nice.

OK, I can do this. One. Word. Sentences. (Or is that too harsh?)

3. Maybe if I smile it'll be easier to be nice

OK, maybe this "smile" just made things worse...

4. Should I text this to my best friend first to make sure it sounds OK?

I mean, if we're going for this whole nice theme, I have to make sure I do it right. What if that emoji I almost sent was going to be "too friendly."

5. OH NO, OH NO!

I guess that was "too friendly."

6. OK, regroup, regroup

There's gotta be some way to get him back in the friend zone, right?

7. Breathe. Breathe!

OK, breathe, think, analyze and get back out there to friend zone this guy!

8. OK, this sounds nice but not too nice, right?

This is definitely the right balance between nice and "I don't really want anything to do with you."

9. What's he going to say?

This anticipation may kill me...

10. Wait, he said what??

Oh, dear... it's worse than I thought.

11. UGHHH... repeat process

Well, maybe it'll work the second time around?

Cover Image Credit: Treehouse Pictures

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

8 Reasons The Sex Is Always Better In A Long-Term, Committed Relationship

It gets better. It gets so, so much better.

Being young and single can be the best time of your life. You're attractive and free and there's a world of commitment-free sex just waiting to be had.

But, when you finally find that one person who makes you want to put that all behind you, your sex life will change as well. And as a former proud single girl who had my fair share of 'fun' in college, I can tell you that nothing beats the sex you will have when you finally find that person.

1. You've mostly given up on shaving

When you're single and mingling, you need to be ready for any kind of intimate touch that may come your way. And while you still like to surprise your SO with your silky smooth legs, you know that they will find you sexy regardless of the thick winter coat you have yet to part with.

2. Your favorite post-sex activity is cuddling and watching Netflix

Gone are the days of awkwardly pulling on your pants, finding your bra, and wondering if your Lyft driver will judge you at 2:30 AM.

Now, you happily enjoy laying around naked, watching Neflix, and just soaking up all of the love.

3. You have had mature conversations about what you would do if an "accident" happens

Even after years of being together, an unplanned pregnancy is still a scary thing.

But, because you've shared so much of life together, you have learned how to handle the tough conversations like adults. You've got a plan a, and probably some Plan B, and a plan c just in case an accident happens.

4. Sex can be awkward, and you've learned how to laugh at yourselves

Sex doesn't look like it does in the movies. It's sweaty and wet and it has its own set of sounds and awkward positions. Sometimes you knock your teeth together when you're kissing and sometimes you get a charley horse in the middle of trying out the One-Legged Wheelbarrow.

But being able to laugh about it all makes sex that much more intimate and enjoyable.

5. You're comfortable enough to talk about trying new things

When you're with someone long enough, chances are you've gotten into a sexual routine. Whether you stick to two or three key positions or you've shortened your foreplay or you only have sex once a week, you have talked about ways to spice things up.

If you've been with your partner long enough, you can have open and honest conversations with each other about your weirdest and kinkiest fantasies.

6. And you're comfortable enough to point out when you're not that adventurous

But, you have probably discovered one or two of your partner's kinks that you aren't quite on board with.

And rather than letting things get awkward or agreeing to do something you're not comfortable with, you are both understanding and can talk about what things you want to try and what things are an absolute no-go.

7. The intimacy and closeness makes for even better sex

Sex and intimacy are inherently connected, but intimacy extends beyond getting naked and bumping uglies.

I love having sex with my boyfriend, but I enjoy laying in bed on Saturday morning talking and joking and watching Netflix just as much. The intimacy we have with each other has always kept us close and that closeness has led to better and better sex over the years.

8. You've just about given up on your insecurities and have learned to love yourself

When you're enjoying being single and the freedom that comes with being unattached, there's always a chance that a new hookup can bring new insecurities. Whether you're worried what they think of you when you're naked, if the noises you're making mid-climax sound too much like a porn star, or you're afraid of saying something stupid, the hookup game can seem like a battlefield.

If someone loves you, they will make you feel sexy and confident every second of every day. You could be bloated and full from eating too many slices of pizza and they will still think you're the sexiest person in the room.

And when you feel that kind of love, it's hard not to love yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Caryn Whiteford

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I'm A Guy And I Hate Hookup Culture, Here's Why

It's just plain bad for society as a whole.

Something about the idea of normalizing and encouraging casual sex is fundamentally disturbing to me. As I have stated before in another article, I consider myself to be, above all other things, a hopeless romantic. I have also expressed in the past that I personally have never understood the appeal of, or desire for, sex with someone that I am not in love with. My personal qualms and lack of the insatiable sexual appetite that others seem to possess aside, I still take issue with the hookup culture that seems to be creeping into modern society more and more each day.

On an individual scale, a person should be valued by more than just what their body is able to do.

Hookup culture praises those with good looks while neglecting any positive traits of substance that one may possess such as intelligence, empathy, wisdom, wit, and humor. A culture that values casual sex over meaningful sex with a partner is one that values physicality above all else. It also places less value on the individual, since the role you are praised for being able to fill could just as easily be filled by any other person of the same sex as you.

Evolutionarily, believe it or not, humans are also actually designed to have meaningful sex rather than casual, no strings attached sex.

During and just after sex, a rush of chemicals and hormones are released in the body that are all designed to help strengthen emotional connections between partners. It’s quite clever really on evolution’s part. Ever wonder why you get tired after climaxing? Well, think of it this way: if you fall asleep next to your partner cuddling them, aren’t you more likely to feel attached to them? See, that is exactly what is suppose to happen. The idea is to keep the two partners together so that when they produce offspring, it has a better chance of survival with both parents present.

So what does this mean in a modern context? Well, it means that you are designed to “catch feelings” for the person you are sleeping with. Now granted, it isn’t 100 percent, things rarely are, but that is something you are biologically geared toward. That can very quickly turn casual sex into overwhelming heartbreak when feelings aren’t reciprocated.

Now, let’s examine this from a broader view, ladies and gentlemen. On a societal level, the normalization and embracement of hookup culture will inch society closer to a state of apathy towards the human spirit as well as the objectification of others. Indulgences of the flesh are primal urges, they require no thought, no regard for anything other than physicality.

See also: Modern Dating In The Modern World Is Far From Perfect, Proceed With Caution

Hookup culture pushes people to start viewing others not as intelligent beings with feelings, emotions, and complexities, but rather as instruments used to serve the purpose of providing pleasure. Men and women become nothing more than walking talking dildos and fleshlights. Regard for the human spirit will decrease, people will be treated more like objects that don’t have a purpose beyond their intended use. Some evidence of this can already be seen today in harmful practices that have become everyday occurrences, such as ghosting, for example.

To clarify, I am not saying that all those who partake in casual sex are apathetic to others. What I am saying is that normalizing and encouraging a culture of casual sex on a grand scale will push society as a whole closer to apathy. It will not be an instant change, of course, it would be gradual, but it would be a change for the worse nonetheless.

While ultimately I do acknowledge that some people can find sustained joy in casual sex, I do believe that it is not something that should be normalized, nor become part of modern culture. For many individuals, as well as for society as a whole, the negative impacts far outweigh the satisfaction of achieving orgasm while in the company of someone you have no vested interest in.

Cover Image Credit: @couplegoals

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