At a young age, all the adults in my life told me men would only want me for sex. They taught me 100 ways to say no. As I woman, I was expected to be the one "managing" the amount of sex in my relationship.

News flash: It's 2018 and men can, should and do say no to sex, too.

However, we ladies never learned the skills to handle rejection in bed in a thoughtful, rational way.

If that applies to you too, here are 11 straightforward ways to cope with rejection:


1. Practice the platinum rule

I'm sure you're familiar with the golden rule, "treat others how you'd want to be treated." Personally, I prefer the platinum rule, "treat others how they'd want to be treated." If your man wants his space, give it to him.

2. Evaluate how you're feeling

Take a deep breath and acknowledge what emotions you're feeling. You might feel self-conscious, rejected, alone, tired, frustrated, or just confused.

3. Read the room

4. Tell him how you're feeling

Just like you practiced in elementary school, "I statements" work great. “I'm feeling confused" or “I'm not sure what happened" are a good place to start.

5. Remeber that it's not personal

You're great. You're powerful. You're dedicated. You care so much for your partner. Trust me, he cares for you too.

6. Ask him if he wants to do something else

We don't call it Netflix and chill for nothing. Try turning on a movie or try going for a drive.

7. Separate yourself from his (immediate) space

Personal space can help de-escalate the situation. This looks different for everyone, but try giving yourself extra room to breathe.

8. Put more clothes on

Did things got a little hot and heavy before he said no? Get comfortable again. Your comfy PJs will make you feel more comfortable in a less-than-comfortable situation.

9. Go get a glass of water

If you need a few minutes to clear your head alone, I recommend going to get a glass of water. First, no one will question your need to hydrate. Secondly, hydrating is good for you and you deserve it!

10. Read some emotional poetry

If all else fails, embrace your emotional state and read some amazing poetry written by some amazing ladies. I recommend Lang Larv, Amanda Lovelace, and Rupi Kaur.

11. Write your thoughts down

If you don't journal regularly, you should try this. Take out your phone and open any note-taking app, and answer these three questions: 1.What happened? 2.What am I feeling? 3.How can I help myself feel better?


Don't forget, this too shall pass.