8 Things To Do When You're Being Ghosted (Besides Blowing Up Their Phone)

8 Things To Do When You're Being Ghosted (Besides Blowing Up Their Phone)

If you keep texting them, you're going to feel crazy. And eventually, you will look it too.

2297
views

There is truly nothing more agonizing than being ignored and not understanding why. You sit and weigh every possible bad scenario you can come up with. You end up going back and forth between believing the other person hates you and thinking that something horrible happened to them.

Ghosting is ugly and it's completely unfair. It feels like you're repeatedly being hit by a truck with every passing day. You cry and Google things you most certainly should not. You worry over someone's health, all while they leave you mentally struggling, without a second thought as to what they are actually putting you through.

You call and text, send Facebook messages, text some more and then, all of a sudden, you look down and you've had an entire conversation with yourself in the message thread that they never responded to.

So you delete the messages on your end (like it's actually going to do something) and pretend like you're not crazy, all while feeling totally crazy.

So before you start looking and feeling crazy, try to do some of these things instead.

Remember your value.

First and foremost, before you start feeling insecure and questioning everything you've said and done in the last 72 hours, take a minute to appreciate yourself.

Remember that someone's choice to ignore you isn't necessarily even about you. It oftentimes is more about their own fears and inability to communicate. Someone else's inability to be open and honest with you does not make you less of a person.

Call a friend.

Before you send text after text after text, talk it out with a friend. Take a minute to vent and process your feelings before typing them out. It helps to get other people's perspectives, and doing so can even change the way you feel about it.

Write them a letter.

Sometimes, what you want to say to someone one day might be something you want to take back later. Try writing all your feelings out in a letter, while you wait for them to return your calls. And maybe you'll need to write several letters.

Just keep getting your feelings out without blowing up the other person's phone with them.

Read a book.

Sometimes, the best distraction is to lose yourself in someone else's story. Whether you dive into a fashion blog or a novel, take some time to read something other than old text messages.

Treat yourself.

Self-care is the best thing you can do for yourself when you're feeling vulnerable or sad. Go get your hair done or call your nail salon and get a deluxe pedicure. Go get a massage. Maybe do some retail therapy with a friend or go to dinner and a movie.

Just do something for YOU. You deserve it, even if you're not being treated very well right now.

Treat yourself right first. Someone else will get it right soon, too.

Binge Netflix.

Avoid your phone if possible. Get into a new TV series and leave your phone on the charger. Let yourself get hooked on something other than waiting on the chime of your phone.

Re-evalute the situation.

Could something have happened other than you being ignored? Phone broken? Family emergency?

Try to humble yourself and be understanding, even if it isn't something innocent. Make sure you leave room for mistakes.

People are not perfect. The person dodging your texts knows they're doing it, and there is a good chance they don't feel good about it. Try to remember that you don't know what they're thinking. Give yourself room to accept it or at least hear it out when the time comes.

Find closure.

Maybe you never hear from them again, leaving you in a cloud of heavy emotions. Take the time to give yourself closure.

If someone truly cannot be honest with you when they decide they no longer want to be in a relationship, then they are genuinely not worth your time.

Take a minute to think about what you want from your partner and add good communication to your list. This is NOT a reflection on you. Just because someone else is a coward and can't do things the way you deserve, it doesn't mean your value decreases. You are WAY more than this thing that happened to you.

Sometimes, people don't know how to handle a situation, so they choose not to handle it. Whether it's a breakup or a family issue, sometimes not saying anything seems easiest.

While it's really hard to sympathize with people who choose to treat people this way, you can at least relate to the fact that it's hard to hurt people. Try to remember that hurting people isn't easy, and just because someone chose to ghost you, that doesn't mean they feel OK with it.

Whatever you do, DO NOT blow up their phone.

Give it some time. Send a message checking in after a few days, but ultimately, let it be. It is better to give it all some air than to say too much and come off kind of crazy. You'll regret it so much later.

After a week, send a final message expressing your feelings. Be articulate, but be calm. You have got this. Honestly, if it's been a week and they have not found a way to reach out to you, then you know it's over. And even if it isn't over, it should be. Because you deserve way better than that.

You are more than that ghosting douchebag made you feel. And you're going to be OK. I promise.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first

1141
views

Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

690
views

Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments