I’m self-admittedly bad at dating. Especially while in college, relationships have been on the back burner of my life. Recently, I’ve tried to change that and let some new people into my life. I’ve tried all the apps, talking people up at parties, and trying to bridge the gap between being classmates and being something more. Dating in college is not all it’s cracked up to be. I might be bad at dating, but I’m perfectly okay with it. Here are some reasons why I think this way.
1. College is too short to miss opportunities for a relationship.
This could be as big as skipping out on an opportunity to study abroad, or as small as canceling plans with someone to do some extra studying. I found that I would rather spend the little free time I have working on myself rather than meeting up with someone I had just met. At this point, I'm not willing to put someone else's needs before my own, and it's just not fair to the other person to be halfway in a relationship.
2. Some people just aren’t looking to commit.
It always seems that in every new relationship, one of the people just isn’t as ready. I’ve been on both ends. Whether we’re too busy, think we’re too young, or just are genuinely uninterested in dating one person, this seems to be the early downfall of most relationships. It sucks when you genuinely like someone who doesn't want to put the time in, but I understand. Sometimes the timing just isn't right.
3. Dating apps suck
Whether you use Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, or something else, I’m sure you have something to say about how they work. Although they’re a really convenient way to find someone who has mutual interests as you, or at the very least thinks you’re hot, it’s hard to move dating offline. Apps are good for finding hookups, but if you want something more, Tinder isn’t necessarily the way to go.
4. I have little tolerance for playing games.
I haven't been in or seen a relationship that doesn't have some kind of drama. There are
Should I really be upset my S.O. liked another girl’s photo on Instagram? Should my S.O. expect me to tell him what I’m doing every five minutes? For me, the answer is no. When these tiny problems start to pile up, I’m quick to cut the cord. I’d rather be alone than
5. I’m genuinely okay with being alone.
I enjoy going out and meeting new people, but honestly, I need time to myself. We’re all so busy with classes, working, extracurriculars, and hobbies that the rest of the time I have left over is usually spent on myself or with friends. I have such a great group of friends that I don’t feel alone when I’m not dating someone. Besides, I believe college should be the time you find yourself, not someone else.
6. Life doesn’t end after college.
I don’t know where I’ll be after I graduate, so it doesn’t make sense to start planning for a future that’s unknown. What do you do in a few months or years when life starts to pull you in a different way than your relationship? That’s a decision I’d rather not make. Besides, with every new opportunity is more new people to get to know. I’m way too young to think now is the only time I have to find the person I want to spend my life with.
As I began to let more people into my life I ended up learning more about myself. I realized that I’m too smart and strong-willed to spend time with those who aren’t as driven as I am. And those who are were usually too busy to be in a relationship.
If dating isn’t working out for you, don’t worry about it. We have so much to do as college students, we shouldn’t feel bad if we’re not dating someone. Life doesn’t end after college, so spend the little time here doing what makes you happy, not what you think should make you happy.