Why It's Better To Be The Girl No One Can Have

Why It's Better To Be The Girl No One Can Have

No, I won't come over at 2 a.m.
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One of the most important things that I’ve learned in my short twenty years is how to respect myself. I have always had a good grasp on how to treat others, and thankfully, respecting myself came easy in my teen years. However, being single and dating in your twenties is a whole new ballgame.

My track record isn’t perfect, and I’ve made my fair share of bad decisions. But if I’ve learned anything about how to carry myself, I’ve learned how important it is to never be the girl that’s always available.

Don’t be the girl he calls when he’s broken up with his girlfriend. Don’t be the girl he can text at 3 a.m. to “chill." Don’t be the girl that falls for his inconsistent drunken charm. Don’t be the girl that's always available.

SEE ALSO: 10 Easy Steps To Becoming A 'Fuckboi'

Everything comes down to respect. The way you treat others and the way you treat yourself speaks volumes about the person you are. All too often, girls in their twenties are misrepresented by the decisions they make, driven by emotion and passion. Sure, it’s your time to experiment and (if you’re single) exercise your right to be free and do whatever the hell you want. But more often than not, focusing on that causes girls to lose sight of having respect for themselves. Handing that power over to men (okay, boys) in their twenties is dangerous. Essentially, you’ll end up being treated like sh*t by guys who want nothing more than your body. There is nothing attractive about a guy who doesn’t respect you. Knowing this allows you to take a stand against it. We may never be able to change most young guys’ mindsets, but there is a way to carry yourself that will attract the right boys to you.

That being said, attracting a boy should be the last thing on your mind. Carry yourself with dignity. Treat your mind and body with respect. Do the things you love without paying any mind to the immaturity of the male species around you. Say no next time he asks you to hang out at midnight. Wear clothes that YOU like, not clothes you think guys would like. Find an interest or passion in something constructive. Stop texting your ex back. Develop standards and hold people to them. Find flattery in compliments like “you’re beautiful” or “you have an interesting mind," not “you’re hot” or “I’d smash." Demand quality from the males you associate with.

You’ll start to see a huge turnaround in the character of the guys in your life. A strong, self-respecting woman intimidates weak, simple-minded boys. The men will separate themselves from the boys and you’ll find that you’re being treated like a woman should be. When your actions demand respect, the people surrounding you will follow suit. Carrying yourself with esteem and class is timelessly sexy and effortlessly impressive. You eventually find that there is no need to go out of your way to get attention. The right guys will approach you at the right times and will have the right things to say. And, when you’re ready to take time out of your flawlessly busy and unavailable life, you’ll be able to choose the perfect man. “Let’s chill tonight” turns into “dinner at 7?” and you’re actually not embarrassed to bring him home to your parents.

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Consequently, other aspects of your life begin to improve as well. Long gone is the stress and anxiety brought on by unfaithful, immature boys. Respecting yourself translates to everyone around you respecting you too, not just guys. Remember though, finding a guy isn’t the goal, just a nice side-effect. Begin the journey towards developing a high level of respect for yourself and remember it when you’re being texted at ungodly hours to “chill” or feel like the best compliment you’ll get is a #WCW on Instagram. Respect and consideration for yourself convinces everyone else around you to treat you the same.

So continue to be completely inaccessible and unattainable until guys rise to meet your standards. Fall in love with your life on your own. Allow no one to have your heart, mind, or body until they match the respect you have for yourself. Be the girl who isn’t available.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Sorry Boys, But I Won’t Be That Girl Who Waits Around For You Anymore

Just because I know my worth doesn't mean I should have to wait around for you to realize it too.

ninitran2
ninitran2
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I'm like most girls. I am such a hopeless romantic when it comes to dating and all that jazz. With that being said, I have also been the type of girl who has waited around for that guy once or twice (OK let's be real, one too many times).

I am a nice person and a lot of my friends know that I have a kind heart. You can do me dirty and I will forgive you. When it came to guys they could have led me on or ghosted me and later on came back out of nowhere and apologized, more than likely I would have given them a second chance at redemption.

I waited around for that guy to either realize how great we would be together or realize how great of a girl I was. All of my friends would tell me how great I was and how worthy I was but in the end, they weren't the ones I wanted to hear that from. Which was why I waited around and thought up of an excuse to defend the guy I was waiting around for.

The older I got the more I realized how silly I was for waiting around for a guy who probably did not appreciate me the way I should have been appreciated. I realized that I was much better than that and I made a promise that I would stop waiting around. Of course, I did slip up here and there (I mean, I am only human after all).

It wasn't until I was beyond over the male species that I realize how ridiculous I was being for crying over someone who stopped talking to me without rhyme or reason. That was the moment that I realized how worthy I was of a great relationship. A relationship that you see in movies or see in old couples who have been married for 65 years.

I decided I was no longer going to be THAT girl who waited around for a guy. I was no longer going to defend him when my friends asked me why I was still talking to him. I was no longer going to wait around for him to realize how worthy I was. Ever since I promised myself that I was going to live MY best life I have been beyond happy.

Yeah sometimes I say to myself "he was different" but then I remind myself that if he truly cared for me the way I cared for him then I would not have to wait around. He would not only pursue me but also my heart.

So ladies, realize your worth. Stop waiting around for that guy to come to the conclusion how amazing you are. You are a queen and if he can't see that right off the bat, he is NOT worth your time. Wear your crown with your head held high, live your best life, and slay the day away, queen.

ninitran2
ninitran2

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You’re Not Going To Meet Someone On Your Couch Watching Netflix, So Get Your Ass Up

Dating isn't easy, but getting off the couch shouldn't be too hard.

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I don't mean to come off as harsh.

The words are directed at me just as much as they are anyone else. Dating isn't easy, especially when most of us have been out of practice. Even as an extroverted person, the idea of striking up a conversation with an attractive guy makes me anxious. If you are fine with being single then this article isn't for you but for the rest of us who want to change our stagnant relationship status, keep on reading.

Dating has changed drastically since our parents' days. In-person conversations have shifted to words on screens, while dinners and drive-in movie theaters have turned into "Netflix and chill." While some of us might be OK with these casual meetings, others want to be wooed. No matter what kind of relationship you're looking for, I can tell you that you aren't going to find it while laying on your couch. Starting something new is stressful and nerve-wracking, but you have to start somewhere. Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zones in order to put ourselves in a situation to meet someone new. Whether it's a house party, a nice night out with your girls, or maybe even an invite to study with a new group of friends, these all have the possibility of you putting yourself out there.

There is the potential to meet someone new anywhere: the library, the grocery store, or even in class. While it's important to put yourself out there, don't put so much pressure on everyone you meet. Some people are meant to just be friends, while others have the possibility to be so much more. If you try and it doesn't work out with one person, don't beat yourself up — maybe it wasn't meant to be, or the timing just wasn't right. All I'm trying to say is that you will never know what's out there if you don't get off the couch. I've had a lot of heartbreak in my life and sometimes I think that stops me from trying something new. It's hard to come to terms with that you might be what's stopping you from having a relationship with somebody. We need to remind ourselves that we deserve to be loved and be happy, and a healthy romantic relationship can give us that, we just have to be willing to try.

So strike up a conversation with the cute guy in your English class. Text the boy who you've always wondered "what if." Flirt with the guy who you make eye contact with across the bar. Or don't. The choice is yours. Sitting on the couch hasn't been working for you though, so you might as well try something new.

If you're truly content with being single, I'm happy for you. Keep watching Netflix on your couch, don't let me stop you. But for everyone else who wants to change their relationship status, pause the show, close the laptop or turn off the TV. Try something new, even though it's scary. I'm not saying a boyfriend will just fall into your lap, but it certainly doesn't hurt to try.

Someone could be out there waiting for you, all you have to do is get off the damn couch.

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