Why It's Better To Be The Girl No One Can Have

Why It's Better To Be The Girl No One Can Have

No, I won't come over at 2 a.m.
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One of the most important things that I’ve learned in my short twenty years is how to respect myself. I have always had a good grasp on how to treat others, and thankfully, respecting myself came easy in my teen years. However, being single and dating in your twenties is a whole new ballgame.

My track record isn’t perfect, and I’ve made my fair share of bad decisions. But if I’ve learned anything about how to carry myself, I’ve learned how important it is to never be the girl that’s always available.

Don’t be the girl he calls when he’s broken up with his girlfriend. Don’t be the girl he can text at 3 a.m. to “chill." Don’t be the girl that falls for his inconsistent drunken charm. Don’t be the girl that's always available.

SEE ALSO: 10 Easy Steps To Becoming A 'Fuckboi'

Everything comes down to respect. The way you treat others and the way you treat yourself speaks volumes about the person you are. All too often, girls in their twenties are misrepresented by the decisions they make, driven by emotion and passion. Sure, it’s your time to experiment and (if you’re single) exercise your right to be free and do whatever the hell you want. But more often than not, focusing on that causes girls to lose sight of having respect for themselves. Handing that power over to men (okay, boys) in their twenties is dangerous. Essentially, you’ll end up being treated like sh*t by guys who want nothing more than your body. There is nothing attractive about a guy who doesn’t respect you. Knowing this allows you to take a stand against it. We may never be able to change most young guys’ mindsets, but there is a way to carry yourself that will attract the right boys to you.

That being said, attracting a boy should be the last thing on your mind. Carry yourself with dignity. Treat your mind and body with respect. Do the things you love without paying any mind to the immaturity of the male species around you. Say no next time he asks you to hang out at midnight. Wear clothes that YOU like, not clothes you think guys would like. Find an interest or passion in something constructive. Stop texting your ex back. Develop standards and hold people to them. Find flattery in compliments like “you’re beautiful” or “you have an interesting mind," not “you’re hot” or “I’d smash." Demand quality from the males you associate with.

You’ll start to see a huge turnaround in the character of the guys in your life. A strong, self-respecting woman intimidates weak, simple-minded boys. The men will separate themselves from the boys and you’ll find that you’re being treated like a woman should be. When your actions demand respect, the people surrounding you will follow suit. Carrying yourself with esteem and class is timelessly sexy and effortlessly impressive. You eventually find that there is no need to go out of your way to get attention. The right guys will approach you at the right times and will have the right things to say. And, when you’re ready to take time out of your flawlessly busy and unavailable life, you’ll be able to choose the perfect man. “Let’s chill tonight” turns into “dinner at 7?” and you’re actually not embarrassed to bring him home to your parents.

SEE ALSO: 30 Hilarious Tweets That Every College Student Can Relate To

Consequently, other aspects of your life begin to improve as well. Long gone is the stress and anxiety brought on by unfaithful, immature boys. Respecting yourself translates to everyone around you respecting you too, not just guys. Remember though, finding a guy isn’t the goal, just a nice side-effect. Begin the journey towards developing a high level of respect for yourself and remember it when you’re being texted at ungodly hours to “chill” or feel like the best compliment you’ll get is a #WCW on Instagram. Respect and consideration for yourself convinces everyone else around you to treat you the same.

So continue to be completely inaccessible and unattainable until guys rise to meet your standards. Fall in love with your life on your own. Allow no one to have your heart, mind, or body until they match the respect you have for yourself. Be the girl who isn’t available.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Asked 11 Strong Independent College Girls Why They Plan On Staying Single Alllllll 2019

We don't all need a man to be happy.

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Listen. Not every college girl wants a ring by spring or really even cares about finding a man. With the popularity of going to college just to walk out with a Mrs. Degree, all the confident and single ladies tend to get overlooked.

Well, ladies, in case you haven't caught on to 2019's biggest dating trend, I'll share it with you—it's loving yourself and staying single. Here what these 11 strong, independent, college girls say about their plans to stay single alllll 2019.

1. Boys are dumb. Simple as that.

"The male species literally is incapable of using their brain at 20-years-old, I'm going to wait until 30s so maybe they will know how to use their common sense. Sorry boys." - Shelby, 20

2. I want to grow on my own.

"I want to focus on learning more about myself and challenging myself. Also, relationships are complicated so I'd rather spend that time worrying about or focusing on school." - Molly, 18

3. Self-love is the best love.

"I need to learn to love myself more than I have been the past two years. I just got out of a two-year relationship (which I am still severely heartbroken over) but I am actually excited to be living life for me." - Caitlin, 20

4. The time spent on focusing on gaining someone else's love will now be spent on finding love within myself.

"It's not that I plan on staying single, I'm just not going to actively put myself out there and fine tune myself. I have spent the past couple of years doing everything I could to find a guy, dating apps, blind dates, letting my friends run my dating apps, socializing a little extra and it just makes me so tired. I want to focus more on myself and what I like to do. Take myself out for a nice dinner and spend time with me. Not watching Netflix but actually getting to know who I am and love myself again, because how you can expect somebody to love you and know you if you don't even know or love yourself?" - Leah, 23

5. Time for some power moves, sister.

"I'm achieving my career dreams without any man holding me back or making me second guess myself or my decisions!" - Jenny, 21

6. Someone print this on a damn t-shirt or something.

"I'm trying to get A's, not Baes." - Holly, 20

7. Well, to put it simply...

"Men are trash." - Bobette, 22

8. Your potential should not be defined by a relationship.

"I've found there's more to life then having a boyfriend. Right now, I'm transitioning from being a college student to my career and I think the last thing I need is to worry about starting a relationship. I'm going to focus on loving myself this year." - Sarah, 21

9. So much time has already been wasted...

"I plan on staying single because boys have been too much of a waste of my time already." - Erin, 21

10. What's the move in 2019? Self love. That's the move in 2019.

"For myself, honestly. I just want to focus on me." - Lex, 19

11. I'm the best me when I'm single.

"I just function better when I'm by myself. There's no extra stress and no need to please or impress anyone." - Jordyn, 20

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11 Thoughts Single College Girls Experience On Valentine's Day

All the mixed emotions single girls feel on Valentine's Day

Dr King
Dr King
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Other than my junior year, any Valentine's Day that came across during my college years were filled with a wide range of emotions. Part of me was salty because I wanted the gifts and attention others were getting. Part of me was relieved that I didn't have to plan anything and could focus on classes the next day. Most of the time though Valentines Days were filled with anticipation for the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy.

I've always wondered how my personal mixed emotions seemed to line up with the general population and research shows that it's complicated for many. Although singles aren't necessarily devastated by it, our thoughts about Valentines Day depend on many situational factors.

And if you're a single college girl, you may be thinking these 11 things on Valentine's Day:

1. “I wish I had a boyfriend just for the day.”

This is what some girls are thinking if they’ve been single for a while and they don’t necessarily miss being in a long-term relationship, but they just want completely undivided attention for the day and a romantic candlelight dinner.

2. “I’m glad I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t need a man.”

This is what usually goes on through girl's heads if they're the independent type who don't place that much value on relationships. They might still scroll through Instagram out of pure nosiness, but if anything, they're probably thinking about how happy they are in the relationship they have with themselves.

3. “I wonder if he’ll send me a happy Valentine’s Day text...or maybe it’s too early for that.”

Valentines Day is already hyped up enough when you’re in a relationship and it’s to be expected that you probably won’t be doing anything romantic if you’re single on that day. But what about those who are in a situationship? Yes, it’s that awkward phase when an official title isn’t there, but that doesn’t mean Valentines Day can’t be brought up at all. Don’t you secretly hope that the person you’re involved with will at least send you a “Happy Valentines” text or stop by and give you a rose?

4. “Wait, they’re actually together?”

On Valentine's Day, the timeline on Instagram is similar to the Oprah Winfrey meme “You get a car! You get a car!" except it's with boyfriends instead. This girl has a boyfriend! *gasp* and this girl has a boyfriend too! *gasp*

5. “Wait...didn’t she just key his car and slash his tires after he hooked up with her best friend last week?”

This exact thought might be a tad bit of an overexaggeration, but it's still the most awkward thing when you see a picture of a couple looking as happy as can be, but deep down everyone knows that their relationship is nothing but drama behind closed doors.

6. “I’ll just hang out with my girl friends, eat pizza, and gossip.”

Girls who enjoy the company of their closest friends more than anyone else will most likely be thinking of hosting a Galentine's Day party rather than a Valentine's Day party. Besides, romantic love isn't the only love that exists.

7. “I’ll treat myself with chocolate.”

Let's be real. Valentine's Day is the perfect time to take a break from the diet and splurge on candy and chocolate.

8. “I’ll treat myself with wine.”

Other than candy and chocolate, wine would be the third option as a substitute for having someone special for Valentine’s Day.

9. “I can’t believe I got dumped.”

Believe it or not, the time of February is peak breakup time. A Facebook study showed that around the time of Valentine’s Day is usually when you’ll notice breakups start to happen in a more recurring manner.

10. “It’s literally no different than any other day.”

Then finally, there are the people who really don't give a damn about Valentine's Day at all because ultimately, it's just another day.

11. “Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't dick deprived.”

Sometimes Valentine's Day doesn't have people thinking about intimacy and romance. Sometimes it's just a reminder of the sexual drought you've been going through for a while.

Dr King
Dr King

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