You’ve Finally Stopped Crying, Your Heart's On The Mend, You're Ready To Move On. Then He Texts You

With no explanation, your heart is torn to shreds. You never thought you'd feel this bad, and you don't even know why you should feel this bad. But you do.

You cry, you sob, you don't go out with your friends, you don't smile and you lay in bed all day. Your playlists are full of sad songs. Your phone becomes a prison. You can't even pick it up because it contains a record of your entire time with him – the pictures you took laughing together, him kissing you and all of the messages that tell the story of your relationship from beginning to end.

You go through the motions of work with a heavy heart, wear makeup to conceal the dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep and don your ugliest clothes (not that you own any, but…).

Guys ask you out, and it only makes the pain worse. If they want you, then why doesn't he?

Your friends wonder what's wrong with you. This is so out of character for you. You never let a guy do this to you. You never take it that seriously or allow yourself to feel this much pain, and you never get that attached that fast.

You never depend on a guy for your happiness, but it was different this time. You don't understand it yourself. You hate yourself for letting him pull you in, for letting him make you care and for letting you want more.

And in your most vulnerable and darkest moments, even when you know you shouldn't, you text him and you tell him you miss him. He says he doesn't know what to say. You say goodbye. It hurts all over again.

Then one day, a glimpse of sunlight comes through the crack in your curtains. You finally come to terms with it. It's over. You will never be with him again — not ever. There is nothing you can do about it. You did nothing, it wasn't your choice and you know you didn't deserve it.

What really was so great about him anyway? You think of all of the reasons you should be glad that's he's gone and all of the reasons you deserved better. You don't even know why he was worth all of those tears in the first place. It's good you aren't with him anymore.

You look in the mirror at your tear-stained face, and you know you are lovable. You know you are worth it, you know he lost something important and you know you deserved better.

So, you get out of bed. You slowly pick yourself up, dust yourself off, put different songs on your playlist and put on a cute outfit — one you never wore for him. You force a smile on your face and you walk out the door. You go out with your friends, you flirt with the guys that once asked you out but you ignored, you grind with a stranger at the nightclub, and you even sneak in a laugh or two.

You are finally feeling more like yourself, and your friends are relieved and can stop worrying about you. You survived, and you are ready for whatever is going to come.

But you weren't ready for this.

He texts you.

Yes, he really texts you.

You have come so far, but in that instant, you are back at the beginning. Your heart skips a beat. You try to catch your breath, but you can't breathe. You feel like you are falling into a dark abyss.

What do you do? You know you should never answer. You should run the other way. You should never, ever answer that text.

"Hi," you text back.

He says he misses you and wants to get together for coffee. You set a date and time.

You spend hours getting ready to see him. And before you're ready to walk out the door, he cancels with a good reason and says he's sorry.

He never texts you again.

You don't know what to think or how to feel. But the tears under your eyes tell all.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

As Much As You May Want To, You'll Never Get Over Your First Love

You never forget your first


Your first love is just that: the first person you've ever truly loved (besides your family and friends). Maybe you've kissed a few people before, but with this person it's different. They mean something to you that no other person ever has before. Maybe you met this person when you were younger in high school or met them a little later in life as I did at the end of my first year of college. Meeting my first love transformed me, both for the good and the bad, and as much as I may want to, I'll never get over my first love and neither will you.

When we met, we didn't meet in some fantastical way, we met on Tinder right after a surprise breakup of mine. We had instant chemistry, and I didn't get to kiss him for weeks because I ended up getting mono right after the breakup (haha whoops). He was the first person I've ever kissed who I didn't want to stop kissing- ever. Yes, second semester freshman year me was super extra when it came to him, but being with him was so different than anyone else. Things progressed through the summer as we talked every single day, even though we never got to meet up because we were both busy, and at the beginning of my sophomore year, I lost my virginity to him. That was a big step for someone who thought she'd wait until she was married. He made sure I was fine and didn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'll treasure that forever.

He was someone I loved with all of my being, to the point where it was physically hurting me in the end because I knew what I felt wasn't going to ever be reciprocated the way I wanted it to be. That's when I had to end it, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To me, he was a boyfriend, but to him, I was a friend with benefits. I wanted something more and he wanted less, and I didn't want to accept that. I wasn't his first love but he was mine, which he doesn't know and probably never will. I have had moments where I thought I was over him, but then all the emotions flood right back. In hard moments of hurt is when I miss him the most, but also in moments of joy too. If I see a nice car I think of him, or of other little things, like a french bulldog or The Fast and The Furious.

Your first love leaves such a monumental effect on you as a person. They have seen parts of you others have not. You will always remember your firsts more than anything else, which is why your first love never leaves you. As roughly as things ended between he and I, he's always going to have a piece of me that no one else will ever have. The relationship we had wasn't what you'd expect from someone you call your first love, but his mark on me is what helped shape me into who I am today for better or for worse.

Don't let any negativity remain when it comes to your first love (if there is any). Let it go and remember the good. They will be a part of you forever, so you can never truly get over you.

OMG, check these out

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Why You Keep Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love You Back In Your 20s

It's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.


Can love truly be both beautiful and heartbreaking?

It's a question I silently asked myself, sitting shotgun in a car next to someone I considered my friend.

A "friend" seemed to be the right label to define our relationship. To him, I was just a friend—who just happened to be a girl, a girl he texts regularly, jokes around, and can grab a drink with. And we loved each other as friends, because we both trusted each other, we had fun together and each had our own independent lives which would connect occasionally in a complete, non-questionable platonic way.

But slowly, for me, he was becoming everything I've ever wanted in a guy, standing right in front of me. But he wasn't mine to have.

And imagine being so close to someone you want except you can't have him because it might just ruin everything you've already shared together. Because what if you scare him away? What if he replies by telling you "No"?

That's the simple nature of falling in love with someone you can't be with.

In our early part of our lives—particularly in our 20s and during our college years, we all experience this type of heartbreak.

To name a few: A high school boyfriend who lives halfway across the country now. The hot guy you sit next to in lecture who already has a girlfriend. The casual hookup who you just can't manage to stop thinking about as you endlessly toss and turn at night. The platonic friend who doesn't quite see you as being something more.

We all at one point in our thoughts have imagined "coupling" or sharing a life with a guy who we can't seem to have for ourselves. We've always dreamt how things could actually work out if you actually shared your feelings with him except the closest we'll ever reach to it is in our dreams, not reality.

And to examine the logic behind why this happens, we have to first admit how we always want what we can't have.

Because it's embedded in our human psychology to always desire deeper connections and meaningful relationships with the people we hold close to our heart, even if the feeling aren't necessarily mutual.

So, it's not really this case of the whole Romeo and Juliet "star-crossed lovers" BS but rather, it's purely a one sided love which can most definitely be beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Beautiful because there's always a connection you feel which makes you all warm and bubbly inside but heartbreaking because you know this connection is merely flowing in a one way track.

So then, why do we tend to maintain our connections with these people who hurt us?

One reason is because you're afraid to lose him altogether. Perhaps you think he's going to go on full freak-out mode after you spill the beans to him. My piece of advice in this scenario would be to just suck it up and take the chance. Talk to him about how you feel because honestly, what's there to lose? Unless you're not reciting some sappy, over-the-top love story about how many kids you plan to have with him, you're fine.

But perhaps, the most common reason is because we assume he might eventually fall in love with us, too.

And if this pertains to you, gear up because I can write on for days about why this is a big no-no. Heck, I can probably teach a class or lecture to all of you about my elaborative theory of why you will definitely know whether a boy truly loves you or not. It's plain and simple—if he loves you, he'll make sure you know.

And you can't force someone to fall in love with you. Even if you pay them a million bucks, you can get them to pretend to love you or force them to be with you—but it's never going to be true love. Because true, unrequited love is effortless. It comes naturally. The fiery passion will be shared mutually and you won't ever have to question whether or not you belong with him.

OMG, check these out

Facebook Comments