Why We Need To Start Dating Again

Why We Need To Start Dating Again

Our generation is pretty screwed up when it comes to the whole dating thing.
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Our generation is pretty screwed up when it comes to dating.

"I'll pick you up at 7 o'clock" has turned into arriving at 7:15 p.m. and sending a text saying, "I'm here" instead of walking to the door and to meet the parents.

Snapchats and Instagram "likes" have become acceptable forms of flirting. A "like" on Instagram is way more common than a compliment in real life.

Date night has evolved from going out to dinner, playing putt-putt (a completely underrated pastime in my opinion), or doing anything relatively thoughtful, to watching Netflix and maybe ordering a pizza.

It seems like no one is actually dating anymore. Everyone is "talking" or "has a thing with someone" or is "kind of dating" that one guy from bio lab. No one wants the commitment of a real relationship, but they don't want to be alone either.

A guy won't take the girl he's "talking to" on an actual date, but when he sees that her best friend on Snapchat is another guy, he freaks out. A girl doesn't want to commit to the guy she "has a thing" with, but she gets mad when she sees that he is liking other girls' photos on Instagram.

I'm not sure when these actions became acceptable substitutes for real life conversations or dates, but it's happened and it needs to change.

SEE ALSO: When You Find The One, You'll Know It

I think we should bring back dating. Real, honest-to-goodness, "I'll pick you up at 7 o'clock." Dating. Instead of sending a Snapchat to that person you have your eye on, why not ask them out on a real date? I get it. It's scary. You have to deal with the fear of being rejected. There's also potential for it to be really awkward, but honestly, there are worse things in life. Sure, they might say no. That's a bummer, but it's not the end of the world. At least you tried.

On the other hand, let's pretend they say yes, and you do go on the date, and it's really awkward. First of all, take a deep breath. Again, this is not the end of the world. Tell some stupid jokes. Talk endlessly about your family. First dates are supposed to be awkward. And if it's really unfixable, at least you tried. You did better than the rest of us, stuck at home Snapchatting the person they're "talking to."

I'm not saying that we all need to go out and ask every person we've ever thought was cute out on a date. I'm not saying that these dates need to be extravagant or meticulously planned out. What I am saying is that there is nothing to lose. If you think the person you sit next to in calculus is cute, ask them to study sometime. Instead of Snapchatting your crush constantly, go get ice cream. Ask the person that you've always wanted to get to know better to hang out (in person! What a concept!).

Do something fun and spontaneous. Don't worry if it's awkward. Don't get mad over Instagram likes and Snapchat best friends. Life is too short. Plus, you never know what will happen.

Who knows? That random date you ask someone on might be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

11 Things The Man You Love Should Do For You, No Questions Asked

Sometimes it's just the simple things in life that mean a lot.

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Every girl feels special when the guy she's dating does simple things for her that not everyone thinks about. Here's a list of 10 things that every girl genuinely appreciates.

1. Open/Hold the door

I feel like this one is really simple because everyone has to walk through doors. Chivalry isn't dead, let him open the door for you. He's not trying to prove that you can't do it for yourself, but he's trying to be polite and show you that he cares for you.

2. Give you really big hugs

Everyone has bad days, and sometimes you just need a really big hug. Whether it be a bear hug or the hug where he picks you up and spins you around, it will make you feel better in the long run.

3. Buy you really small gifts

One of the best things my boyfriend has ever done for me is simply bringing me a Dr. Pepper when he knows I'm tired from a long hard day full of exams or work. Sonic slushes will also make my day in a heartbeat.

4. Text/Call you just to tell you he loves you

This is pretty simple. It takes less than 10 seconds to text, and only a few minutes to call. Sometimes you get these texts right at the perfect moment, and it makes you feel so much better.

5. Come see you when you're sick

Everyone hates being sick. But seeing your friends and family while you're sick can make you feel so much better. Having your boyfriend come to see you and possibly even take care of you just makes being sick that much easier.

6. Respect your decisions

You're not married yet, so your decisions are up to you! He should respect the decisions you make and support you, even if it's not what he thinks is the best decision. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else!

7. Give you a shoulder to cry on

We all have bad days, and sometimes you just can't stop the tears from coming. Even if he's not good with crying, he should give you hugs and love to help you get through it.

8. Compliment you

Even if you look horrible and know so, hopefully, he'll still tell you that you look good. Even if the clothes you're wearing aren't his style, he should still tell you that they look good on you and that you are beautiful each and every day.

9. Call you when you're away or he's away

If you're like me, I miss my boyfriend after being away for about three hours, so when we're apart for more than a couple days, I love getting random calls from him when he knows I'm not busy. It's definitely better than a text.

10. Deal with all your annoying quirks

So if you're anything like me, you enjoy screaming music as loudly and horribly as you can in the car and making a complete fool of yourself, but he should love you for that anyway. I also love to take really stupid pictures, and he should put up with that too. He shouldn't be annoyed by your quirks, he should love them and laugh along with you.

11. Love you no matter what

I honestly feel like this goes without saying, but I put it on here so that the girls who don't feel like they're being loved no matter what can realize. He should want to work out problems with you instead of calling it quits and holding a grudge. He should want you to be happy and support you in every decision you make in life. When he loves you unconditionally, he will do all of the above things and more.

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If You View Being In A Relationship As 'Losing Your Freedom,' You’re In The Wrong Relationship

Someone had to say it.

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Relationships are about being the best possible version of yourself separate and together. They're about growing with and doing life alongside your partner. They're fun, loving, and granted, they can sometimes be challenging.

Some challenges that frequently come up in relationships are disagreements (which are for sure gonna happen, because you're two individual people!), dealing with stress, and depending on where you're at in life, it could also be financial struggles. Of course, all relationships are going to have problems and everything won't always be “rainbows and butterflies" as Maroon 5 like to put it.

That being said though, one challenge that shouldn't ever be an issue in a relationship is the loss of freedom. Where did this idea come from?

I see it all the time, people talking about not wanting to get into a relationship because they don't want to "lose their freedom".

If you are in a relationship which causes you to lose your freedom, you are 100% in the wrong relationship.

Being in a relationship is not synonymous with not being able to be yourself or be able to do what you want. In a good relationship, you will be able to still have your alone time, be your own person, hang out with your friends, the list goes on and on. All of these things are so important. Relationships should never consume your life, they should complement it.

Why is this even a conversation we need to be having? Seriously.

Now obviously if you're referring to losing the option of getting with other people or dating around, then yes, you're right, you absolutely shouldn't get into a relationship... but that doesn't mean relationships mean losing your freedom.

If you are in a relationship with someone you love and respect, getting with other people isn't even going to be on your radar. It truly is that simple.

The trend of hating on relationships, for this reason, has gotten so out of hand in recent years, especially on social media. It's so frustrating, though, because it could not be any more inaccurate.

You should absolutely still have freedom in relationships. You can have it. I for one absolutely have it and do not view my relationship as the loss of freedom, at all. If you don't, maybe evaluate that relationship and realize it's not the best one to be in.

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