When it comes to relationships, millennials are known for being a generation that doesn't know what love is. We are afraid of commitment. We believe that love should come easy. And we also think that we deserve the world, without reciprocating that idea to our significant others. We are the ones who grew up seeing parents getting divorced after being married for decades and thinking cheating is an acceptable part of our culture. We have this fear that being "tied down" to one person will make us miss out on someone better.
I realize this might rub some people the wrong way, but if these 5 things sound like you, you don't deserve the love you think you do. I am not here to hurt your feelings, I am here to tell you the truth. And the truth hurts sometimes.
1. You're only in it for you.
If everything is about you and what you gain from being in a relationship, then love will be difficult to sustain. If you are with your significant other because it is convenient, easy, and you get whatever you want from that person, then you really need to take a step back and reevaluate your situation. If you genuinely care about your significant other, you will want them to shine, just like you want them to want for you.
2. You think it should be like a movie.
The romances you have watched on-screen are just that, on-screen and not in real life. The media and entertainment industries have done a great job of depicting these relationships that don't exist. Not every day is perfect when you are in a serious relationship. Being showered with flowers and materialistic objects is not meant to be a daily occurrence. Fancy dinners don't happen every weekend. Families aren't automatically acting like your significant other is part of the family. And every moment is not blissful. An amazing relationship takes heavy lifting and tough work. It just doesn't happen if you aren't willing to roll up your sleeves.
3. You're not invested in your significant other.
If you don't care about your significant other's life in all the areas that don't include you, then you aren't invested in them. Do you pay attention to their dreams and goals? What about their career, jobs, and school? How about their mental and physical health? You should genuinely encourage your significant other and support them in endeavors that are important to them. You should want them to succeed in the same ways you desire success. You should also be their biggest supporter and advocate. Things that are valuable to them should also be important to you.
4. You're not willing to compromise.
If you think you need to win an argument or be the one with the upper hand, then you have got relationships all damn wrong. You are supposed to be a team and if one of you falls, you both fall. There is no winner or loser. There will be times when it may feel like you are against each other, but don't let yourself stoop to the level where you think you need to win an argument over your significant other. If that is the mindset you have, then you have a lot of maturing to do. If you aren't willing to share the hardships and to rejoice in the triumphs together, then you are not in a relationship with anyone, but yourself.
5. You're not willing to fight for the other person.
I am including this last reason because it has become such a common occurrence these days that when young people are in a "serious" relationship, they call it quits at the first sign of a struggle. What about working through your problems? What about actually believing that you two can overcome this situation? Not everything is going to run smoothly in any relationship. And if you give up so easily because things have suddenly become difficult (the honeymoon phase is over), then how will you ever stick with anything throughout your life? Relationships do not only teach us lessons about how to be with another person, but they also teach us about life. If you really love your significant other and believe in the two of you, then you would fight like hell to protect your relationship from anyone and anything. If you realize that you aren't willing to put in the work that is necessary to maintain your relationship long term, then maybe you aren't with the right person.
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