If You're A College Girl Faking Orgasms, Why Are You Even Having Sex?

If You're A College Girl Faking Orgasms, Why Are You Even Having Sex?

Up to 80 percent of women admit faking orgasms and they are boosting male egos.
MishSays
MishSays
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"Fake it 'til you make it."

It's one of the most common pieces of advice handed out for almost anything — even orgasms.

Don't act too surprised, because if this headline spoke to you and you're reading these words, I'm almost positive you have faked an orgasm before. What I'm not completely sure of is why women fake their orgasms.

Although the “fake it 'til you make it" philosophy might apply to a lot of things in life, it should NEVER be used as a basis for your sexual satisfaction. Pretending to enjoy sex will drive you further away from climaxing than before you even started. (If your intention is to never orgasm during sex then by all means, fake it 'til you can't anymore.)

Faking an orgasm is the equivalent of cheering your partner on for doing everything wrong. Instead of ensuring a satisfactory time, you're preventing your partner and yourself from figuring out what it takes for you to finish.

If you're going to fake an orgasm, what's the point of even having sex?


If you're a pretender, then your sexual expectations do not measure up to the true pleasure you deserve to experience. So what gives?

I hardly believe there is no one out there who can pleasure you in the ways you want. Instead, I think you are too reserved to voice what it is you like, want, and need. If that's the case, are you then willing to put your sexual needs last every single time?

It's possible the idea behind “normal" sex has become skewed due to the media's interpretations of it. Think about it — when you watch a sex scene on TV or on the big screen, it's usually represented by two naked people magically reaching the big O together, no foreplay, at the same time, every time.

All we get from these played-out scenes is that sex can only be good if both parties climax together. That is a facade.

There is an unspoken pressure on women to reach orgasm during sex. And it's bullshit.

However, most women cannot finish from sole penetration. When you combine pressure and not being able to finish, it opens the door to faking an orgasm. I understand this, but that does not mean I condone it in any way.

And neither should you.

Faking it might sound stupid when said out loud, but only because it is. Not only are you NOT climaxing, you are also preventing yourself from a damn good time. And that seems like a waste of time. Whether you're in a serious relationship or not, you can and should always be upfront about your needs.

So to the all the women who fake the big O's and ahh's without concern, is the sex really worth it? Are you having sex for self-benefit, mutual benefit, or his benefit? Has that line become so blurred that you ignore it or talk yourself into believing you enjoyed it?

A ridiculous amount of females lie about having orgasms because they want to make sure the man isn't offended by their inability to pleasure you.

WTF is right... Psychologists Claire Salisbury and William Fisher from Western University say women fake it because they want to make sure their partner's ego remains intact. Apparently making it known that a woman has not reached climax is potential for “devastating a man's self-esteem."

Frankly, I am not sure how to feel about any of this information. All I know is it does not sit well with me.

As the fight for equality continues on a larger scale, it's smaller scale scenarios like conforming in the bedroom that prevent us from seeing substantial progress. Not to debunk the importance of your orgasms, but there's something more problematic that lies at the root of all this deceit...

Sexually and non-sexually, women continue to prioritize male pleasure at the expense of their own.

How can we say we are moving forward when we can't even be honest about our needs in the very comfort of our own home — our own bedrooms? I sense it's these intimate moments that make high levels of equality and happiness all the more difficult to reach. Real change starts from within.

So, if you're the lady that fakes it regularly, you should know you aren't doing anyone any good


This orgasm faking spree you contribute to has created a type of male that is clueless in the “get a woman off properly" department.

We don't hand out gold medals to those who failed to make it to the finish line, so why on earth would you give praise to a guy who barely participated? Put on your coaching hat and help him adjust his technique so you both feel great and neither of you has to lie. If he gets defensive and decides to bolt, then he was never up to the task in the first place.

On to the next one.

There are already too many men falsely thinking they're sex gods. So, please do us all a favor and cut the crap. If a man isn't satisfying you, let him know it. He might not be too chipper about it in the moment, but he'll thank you eventually — even if he never says it out loud.

Cover Image Credit: HBO
MishSays
MishSays

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

I Am A Hopeless Romantic Living In A World Where One-Night Stands Are The Norm

It's the little things.

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In today's society, it can certainly start to feel like no one takes love seriously anymore.

Whether it's that one couple who has broken up and gotten back together more times than you can count, the two friends-with-benefits no one can figure out, your local womanizer, or just hookups in general, love and lust are a huge part of specifically college life and culture.

As a hopeless romantic, being part of a generation that "just wants to have fun" can be really frustrating, especially when you just want to find something real. It is so easy for people to put on a fake act just to get what they want and sometimes this can be extremely hard to see through. I'm sure we've all had some kind of incident with someone who played nice but had ulterior motives and the sad truth is that it can be impossible to recognize a person's artificiality.

I am a hopeless romantic.

I have always classified myself as such, and it has remained true. Sure, I can make the most of the freedoms I have as a single college woman, but deep down I just want to find my person.

I've had my fair share of letdowns, and I think we all have, but being a hopeless romantic makes it that much more difficult to get past the "what ifs" and fantasies that come along with starting something with someone new. We may already have our hearts set on a person when they decide they've gotten what they wanted and leave.

For me, I find myself caught up in the little things that someone does. I have always been someone who picks up on small details in situations, and sometimes this works against me.

I pick up on the small facial expressions that he may not even realize he is making; the ones that tell you when their guard has been let down, even just for a split second.

I pick up on the way he sits our two cellphones side by side on the nightstand, taking care to line them up perfectly as if that's just their spot.

I pick up on the short moments of laughter where he actually lets himself laugh and forgets about the act.

I pick up on things, and sometimes I end up hurting because of it.

When it comes down to it, though, I wouldn't change the way that I am. I wouldn't change the fact that I find myself in the search for more in a society that mostly only offers me less.

The trait that tends to hurt me most is also the one that I value most. Even if noticing all the little things is something that contributes to my own heartache, I love those moments. There is something beautiful about those tiny things shared by two people, even if the connection ends there.

Sure, it can be hard. But so can everything.

It's just a matter of finding the beauty.

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5 Movie Sex Scenes That Would Never Go Down Like That In Real Life

There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life.

Dr King
Dr King
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When I was a child, my idea of sex was confined to what I saw in the media — two people rolling around underneath the sheets of their bed. I didn't understand what was going on at the time until my parents had the birds and the bees talk with me, but still, sex was not something that was discussed regularly in any setting so I couldn't help but use the movies and television as my main source for sex education. When I was a teenager, I started watching rom-coms so my idea of sex expanded to a scenario where two people who loved each other effortlessly fall into a euphoric experience and then they live happily ever after.

Then something about the idea I had changed as I watched the series premiere of "Secret Life of the American Teenager," a popular teen drama from ABC family about a girl who struggles with being a mother in high school. One of the first and most memorable scenes of the show is when Amy Juergens talks to her best friends about what it was like to have sex for the first time. Her friends were ecstatic for her at first until she revealed her dismay, telling them "I didn't exactly realize what was happening until, like, after two seconds, and then it was just over. And it wasn't fun and definitely not like what you see in the movies, you know, all romantic and stuff."

I heard those words and was immediately taken aback. As a 13-year-old, sex wasn't on my mind much, but I couldn't help but hope that I could experience the magic I saw on screen. Then eight years later I have sex for the first time and I realized that what she said was right...not about the part about it not being fun, but more-so about the part that sex is not actually like what is depicted in the movies.

Here are five examples in movies that created unrealistic sex scenes for its viewers:

1. "Skyfall"



This steamy scene between Bond and Severine make shower sex look passionate and trouble-free, but do its expectations match reality? No. What they don't show you is the sting from the water getting into your eyes, the awkward positions your bodies have to accommodate with if there's a significant height difference between you and your partner and the fact that water is a terrible substitute for lube because it strips away the natural lubrication your genitals produce.

2. "No Strings Attached"



Sometimes there are those moments when you want to have sex, but you don't have that much time on your hands so you have to fit in a quick session before work in the morning, in between classes, or right before the kids come back home. Though Natalie Portman's "O" face is spot on, the main thing that makes her quickie with Ashton Kutcher's unrealistic is that she still manages to climax after 45 seconds without any kind of foreplay, lube, or toys involved. The female orgasm is still possible during a quickie, but in real life, there will still have to be creative measures involved so that enough stimulation outside of penetration is involved to get her warmed up.

3. "Fifty Shades of Grey"



As much as I enjoyed the playfulness behind Ana and Christian dipping ice cream on each other's bodies and licking it off each other, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how over exaggerated it became. Yes, I understand that when something feels good, a moan or some type of vocalization will happen, but getting some kisses and licks on your thighs isn't going to have you arching your back like a demon going through an exorcism.

4. "Mr. & Mrs. Smith"



Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's chemistry and passion in this scene is undeniable and it almost makes you want to start a fight with your partner just so you two can have some hot, angry sex just like them. Here's the problem though. They go from nearly killing each other to being boo'ed up like nothing happened. While angry sex can be a way for some couples to express emotions through adrenaline, it isn't the answer to our problems and shouldn't be a substitute for healthy communication.

5. "Titantic"



The moment in the movie when Kate Winslet's hand slams against the door of the car and drifts down as we stare at her steamy handprint and secretly wish we were sleeping with Leonardo DiCaprio will always be a classic. However, this scene is still a scam for those who hope car sex is as passionate and heartfelt as that. Truth be told, there's limited space to feel comfortable so leg cramps are inevitable and sliding against leather feels awful on your skin. To top things off, if you aren't careful enough, you may get caught by the police and ultimately have to register as a sex offender depending on your state's laws.

I truly hope for the day that sex in the media is represented in more of a realistic way, but until then, we just have to remember to take movies for what they are. Acting. There's a lot of time, scripts, makeup, and lights that are involved in these scenes that make them what they are, unlike the sex that happens in real life. As a matter of fact, sometimes sex isn't romantic. Sometimes it's not a fairy tale. There are times when it can be mind-blowing and other times when it's awkward, funny, or simply not what we expect. Do I appreciate fictional sex? Of course. But mainstream entertainment should also take the time to show us more than the sex we supposedly fantasize about and also show us sex that we can look at and see ourselves.

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