"Fake it 'til you make it."
It's one of the most common pieces of advice handed out for almost anything — even orgasms.
Don't act too surprised, because if this headline spoke to you and you're reading these words, I'm almost positive you have faked an orgasm before. What I'm not completely sure of is why women fake their orgasms.
Although the “fake it 'til you make it" philosophy might apply to a lot of things in life, it should NEVER be used as a basis for your sexual satisfaction. Pretending to enjoy sex will drive you further away from climaxing than before you even started. (If your intention is to never orgasm during sex then by all means, fake it 'til you can't anymore.)
Faking an orgasm is the equivalent of cheering your partner on for doing everything wrong. Instead of ensuring a satisfactory time, you're preventing your partner and yourself from figuring out what it takes for you to finish.
If you're going to fake an orgasm, what's the point of even having sex?
If you're a pretender, then your sexual expectations do not measure up to the true pleasure you deserve to experience. So what gives?
I hardly believe there is no one out there who can pleasure you in the ways you want. Instead, I think you are too reserved to voice what it is you like, want, and need. If that's the case, are you then willing to put your sexual needs last every single time?
It's possible the idea behind “normal" sex has become skewed due to the media's interpretations of it. Think about it — when you watch a sex scene on TV or on the big screen, it's usually represented by two naked people magically reaching the big O together, no foreplay, at the same time, every time.
All we get from these played-out scenes is that sex can only be good if both parties climax together. That is a facade.
There is an unspoken pressure on women to reach orgasm during sex. And it's bullshit.
However, most women cannot finish from sole penetration. When you combine pressure and not being able to finish, it opens the door to faking an orgasm. I understand this, but that does not mean I condone it in any way.
And neither should you.
Faking it might sound stupid when said out loud, but only because it is. Not only are you NOT climaxing, you are also preventing yourself from a damn good time. And that seems like a waste of time. Whether you're in a serious relationship or not, you can and should always be upfront about your needs.
So to the all the women who fake the big O's and ahh's without concern, is the sex really worth it? Are you having sex for self-benefit, mutual benefit, or his benefit? Has that line become so blurred that you ignore it or talk yourself into believing you enjoyed it?
A ridiculous amount of females lie about having orgasms because they want to make sure the man isn't offended by their inability to pleasure you.
WTF is right... Psychologists Claire Salisbury and William Fisher from Western University say women fake it because they want to make sure their partner's ego remains intact. Apparently making it known that a woman has not reached climax is potential for “devastating a man's self-esteem."
Frankly, I am not sure how to feel about any of this information. All I know is it does not sit well with me.
As the fight for equality continues on a larger scale, it's smaller scale scenarios like conforming in the bedroom that prevent us from seeing substantial progress. Not to debunk the importance of your orgasms, but there's something more problematic that lies at the root of all this deceit...
Sexually and non-sexually, women continue to prioritize male pleasure at the expense of their own.
How can we say we are moving forward when we can't even be honest about our needs in the very comfort of our own home — our own bedrooms? I sense it's these intimate moments that make high levels of equality and happiness all the more difficult to reach. Real change starts from within.
So, if you're the lady that fakes it regularly, you should know you aren't doing anyone any good
This orgasm faking spree you contribute to has created a type of male that is clueless in the “get a woman off properly" department.
We don't hand out gold medals to those who failed to make it to the finish line, so why on earth would you give praise to a guy who barely participated? Put on your coaching hat and help him adjust his technique so you both feel great and neither of you has to lie. If he gets defensive and decides to bolt, then he was never up to the task in the first place.
On to the next one.
There are already too many men falsely thinking they're sex gods. So, please do us all a favor and cut the crap. If a man isn't satisfying you, let him know it. He might not be too chipper about it in the moment, but he'll thank you eventually — even if he never says it out loud.