To All The Boys I Will Love In The Future, I'll Try Not To Run From You

Literally, so hot RN

Literally, so hot RN

Here’s How It Feels To Leave A Relationship That You Both Still Want

Sometimes your lives just don't match up and you have to walk away.

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In the dating world, there seem to exist three types of people. Those who exclusively seek long-term, serious relationships, those who seek a string of hookups or friends with benefits, and then there exists a third, murkier category.

And what is that category you ask? Well, it's the in-betweeners.

These are the people that might skew toward favoring relationships, monogamy and exclusivity. However, they aren't necessarily looking for the type of long-term, serious relationship that the first group is.

And why is that?

Well, some of us within the population have a certain directive for ourselves that requires our utmost focus and attention. Maybe we're at a place in our lives where we might want someone special to spend our time with, but our individual lifestyles factors aren't conducive to a long-term, serious relationship.

Such life experiences might include college, graduate school, a high-demanding career or travel. Certain commitments that fall within these categories often require the majority of one's time and are apart of one's journey to the success they wish to achieve. Some people can't conceivably maintain the type of long-term relationship they envision for themselves while in the pursuit of their responsibilities.

Some people might also have just gotten over a traumatic situation or negative life experience that makes dating difficult for them, and they might wish to find someone to spend time with but don't know if they can put forth the effort necessary for a serious relationship.

Some people can handle the responsibilities of a long-term relationship while they're out grinding and chasing their dreams. But for some of us, our commitments we have in the pursuit of ourselves are not compatible with the type of serious relationship we envision having for ourselves. Some people might be okay with long-distance relationships or spending any conceivable free time they have with each other.

Others might not. Long-distance might not be appropriate for certain couples, or if they're a particularly busy individual, the limited free time they have might be reserved for their own personal health.

And maybe this could be the right person. But the intersection of one's individual lifestyle factors, the characteristics they seek from a relationship, their place in life and mental health all factor into the decision for why they may or may not choose to pursue someone they think is right for them.

Some people might argue with me that if the person in question is truly someone they could envision a long-term relationship with, they would make the time and make sacrifices to be with this person.

But realistically, is that always healthy?

Should you feel inclined to give up your personal pursuits for someone else? In the context of marriage it's one thing, but when it comes to premarital relationships, should you feel obligated to give up a large part of yourself for someone else, even if they do seem like the "right" type of person?


I don't think so.

A relationship is an agreement that two people enter. It's important to give your best energy into your relationships, but there can come the point when you can't give up too much of yourself in exchange for something else. If you do so, you might risk losing who you are as a person, or sacrifice a part of your life, whether personally or professionally, that you couldn't afford to lose.

So, if you're one of those people who fall under that murky category, you could find yourself in a casual, exclusive relationship with someone you truly enjoy and adore. In mature relationships, you'll discuss the constraints of your relationship and communicate what's appropriate for you two.

At some point, however, you two might find yourself parting ways as you work on your respective lives. If you're in one of those murky positions where you're in some sort of relationship with someone but have to separate, it might be difficult for you to walk away since you do envision this person as someone worth having a serious relationship.

For people in those types of situations, they understand who they are and the reality that they live in, where the timing in their lives is not such that enables them to be together.

For people who value the concept of timing when it comes to relationships, there is an understanding that love does not conquer all. Rather, personal accountability, self-reflection, and ambition come before the pursuit of someone else.

Maybe your life timing and focus isn't such to enable a serious relationship to happen with this person now. However, if you end on positive terms with that person and stay in touch, there could come a day where you feel the timing in your life is right.

You could feel that you are now capable of maintaining the type of serious relationship you seek to be in and that you can invest the necessary effort into the relationship without harming yourself.

If something is meant to be, I do indeed think that each person will make their way back to each other when the timing is right.

It's possible this isn't the right person and you simply enjoyed a relationship with a like-minded individual before having to part ways.

If you feel they have the potential to be your "right person" don't write them off because of the timing. You have the ability to determine how you treat the other person, and enabling the possibility for the reunion of your relationship could make you both incredibly happy somewhere down the road.

So, if you're leaving someone you love and care about to pursue your path, don't fret. Keep your mind and heart open. For all you know, you could work your way back to each other to build the strong, serious relationship you both want.

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The 5 Differences Between Physical and Emotional Cheating Every College Girl Should Know

Regardless of their differences, they're still equally awful.

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Cheating can be a violation of another partner's physical and mental health when it occurs and is often a dealbreaker in a relationship. While cheating of any sort is often traumatic and upsetting for a partner, there exist a variety of ways in which their partner might cheat. Of the many ways in which infidelity can occur, the way a person cheats falls under the categories of physical or emotional cheating.

While overlap can occur between the two within a relationship, there exist a few differences between physical and emotional cheating that often differentiate the two.

1. Physical cheating requires  a physical relationship, whereas emotional cheating doesn't

This is the most self-explanatory difference between physical and emotional cheating. When someone physically cheats on their partner, that means they've decided to engage in sexual acts without the knowledge or consent of their partner. Emotional intimacy involves emotional contact without the partner's consent, such as intimate conversations, extensive flirting and doting behaviors practiced outside the context of the couple's relationship.

2. Physical cheating may not involve feelings or emotional intimacy, whereas emotional cheating does

Physical cheating can involve long-term sexual relations with one person or involve sporadic incidences with multiple people. The archetype of physical cheating is cheating without feelings attached, where people have sex without attachment. While attachment can occur within physical relationships, the assumption is that physical cheating is sex-based.

Emotional cheating, however, is based on forming a strong bond and romantic attachment to someone in a way that's meant to be reserved for their partner. For emotional cheating, the cheater is deliberately seeking validation and affection through non-sexual contact and communication with someone else.

3. Physical cheating involves in person contact, whereas emotional cheating can exist in person or digitally

Physical cheating involves a formed sexual relationship, which can only occur in person. Emotional cheating, however, can include both in-person contact or extensive online communication with a non-partner. For example, a partner could be emotionally cheating through the extensive use of a dating app, wherein said partner channels their affection and emotions into the digital person instead of their partner.

4. Physical cheating is secretive, whereas emotional cheating might not be

In monogamous, non-open relationships, it is expected that each person in the relationship is only sexually active with their partner. For a partner that chooses to cheat, it is imperative they keep their new, sexual partner (or partners) under wraps to prevent sabotaging their relationship. Emotional cheating, however, can manifest gradually without being under wraps.

For example, it's possible one's partner could become romantically and emotionally involved with a friend over time, where time spent with a said friend or acquaintance grows. The investment and growth of the new relationship could occur within social circles that allow one partner to witness the new relationship grow over time. This gradual growth could be masked as a new colleague, friend or contact.

If a partner who's cheating exploits their current partner's trust, they could disguise their new relationship until they decide to leave or break up with the current partner.

5. Physical cheating can cause bodily harm to your partner, while emotional cheating doesn't

While both physical and emotional cheating can result in plenty of hurt, there exist potential health complications from physical cheating beyond impacting one's mental health. If one partner is having sex with one or more people outside their relationship, they risk transmitting STI's to their partner.

Certain STI's manifest in men's and women's bodies differently. Gonorrhea, for instance, doesn't always present with symptoms in women, similarly to chlamydia in men. Untreated STI's can lead to severe infections or infertility, or even cancer or chronic illness if a partner contracts HPV, HIV, syphilis or herpes. So if you and your partner were monogamous and you break that pact, you can put yourself and them at serious risk for health complications.

So if you didn't think cheating on your partner was bad enough, passing on a preventable STI makes you even more of an inconsiderate asshole.

Collectively, physical and emotional cheating are two broad categories of cheating that describe hurtful envelope behaviors within relationships. While both types of cheating often have behaviors that intersect, it's important to recognize what they are to protect yourself in the event they happen.

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